Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

Movie Review: The Social Network

2010-10-01T18:57:00.001-07:00

Do you remember when you first got Facebook? I was trying to go back as far as I could and remember when I first heard about it and signed up and finally pinned down the time and place. It was 2004. I was a sophomore in college. I got an instant message from my friend Tyler telling me that a couple of college students had started this website that was like Myspace but only for college students. I signed up. I didn't use it much in the beginning but in the past 6 years I cannot believe how it's grown. Since then, I am now friends with people I haven't seen since I was 8 years old. I keep in touch with former and present teachers, co-workers, friends of my parents, and random people I might meet throughout the week. As a former Livejournal user (like Mark Zuckerberg!!) I used to blog like a crazy person...but now I send my thoughts, frustrations, and laughs into the world via 400 characters several times throughout the day. This has been my experience with Facebook.

The Social Network
Directed By: David Fincher
Written By: Aaron Sorkin
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake
What It's About: Facebook

Tonight I saw The Social Network. If you don't know me at all then I should let you know that I am an insanely huge fan of David Fincher. I love his work. I love his work ETHIC. I love how much he respects the movies he makes and never assumes that his audience is stupid. Se7en is one of the coolest serial killer films of all time. Zodiac is quite possibly the best serial killer movie ever made that is based on actual events/case files. I am also an insanely huge fan of Aaron Sorkin. I mean seriously. The West Wing and Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip are two of the most smart and well written shows ever. Put these two fantastically talented men together along with a kickass group of actors and music by Trent Reznor and you have THE movie that defines not only the past decade but also sums up the mentality of my generation.

From the moment the movie starts it just sucks you in and does not let go until the credits are rolling. There is not a single slow moment in the whole movie. It's intense, suspenseful, heartbreaking, hilarious, and SO incredibly interesting.

What I Loved:
-Realizing about 5 minutes into the film that none of David Fincher's movies are similar except for one common thread: lighting in a dark room. The first scene of the movie takes place in a dark restaurant, most of Benjamin Button is in darkened places, Zodiac had several in its own restaurant scenes, Fight Club was almost entirely done this way...what I'm saying is...it's the dimly lit rooms that reminded me it was a Fincher movie so I kept waiting for someone to find a dead body or punch someone in the face.

-The writing. I can't say enough about it. Smart, sassy, funny, and so quick that it just keeps the movie and its viewers on their toes for the entire 2 hours.

-The acting. Jesse Eisenberg (Mark Zuckerberg) better get an Oscar nomination for his performance. It's absolutely fantastic. Even now I can't think of him as anyone other than Mark Zuckerberg. What's so incredible is that Eisenberg completely disappears into the character and so clearly makes him a sympathetic character while playing the hard, power hungry, shell on the outside. Very often throughout the movie he's playing 3 or 4 emotions at once. Such a great part. I also have to give major love to Justin Timberlake who ROCKS as Napster creator, Sean Parker. Also, little Brenda Song, who I used to watch with my kids at LA Fitness on The Suite Life of Zack & Cody on Disney. She plays the psychotic girlfriend of one of Facebook's co-founders and is so, so good. I love seeing kids from Disney who I assume will never go anywhere else deliver such mature and engaging performances.

-The message. There's not much of one. It's just defining. It paints a picture of the one thing that people will always, always refer to when they think of the decade that was post-9/11 and pre-Obama. Social networking. It's our moon landing. It's our printing press.

This is a quote from Roger Ebert's review of the film and it sums up my feelings perfectly: "The Social Network" is a great film not because of its dazzling style or visual cleverness, but because it is splendidly well-made. Despite the baffling complications of computer programming, web strategy and big finance, Aaron Sorkin's screenplay makes it all clear, and we don't follow the story so much as get dragged along behind it. I saw it with an audience that seemed wrapped up in an unusual way: It was very, very interested."

Baby Food Cleanse: Day 2

2010-08-31T13:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my predictions were correct. I was MUCH hungrier throughout the day because of all the activity in regards to school. I actually had the baby food with me AT school and so I could just eat it throughout the day. It really isn't like other "fasts" or "cleanses" where you're just starving all the time. I eat. I get hungry faster. So I eat more.

Food I Ate:
-Yogurt/Apple/Oatmeal (baby food)
-Sweet Potatoes/Turkey (baby food)
-Squash/Turkey (baby food)
-Banana Mango (baby food)
-Raspberry/Oatmeal (baby food)
-Vegetables & Turkey (baby food)
-Sweet Potatoes & Apples (baby food)

Big Meal:
-3 oz. of grilled salmon
-6 asparagus spears
-1 cup of sunburst squash
-1/3 cup of cous-cous
-1 glass of red wine

Water:
-90 oz.

Again, the days have been easy. But at night I desperately want to snack so it's actually been a motivator for me to go to bed earlier.

Baby Food Cleanse: Day 1

2010-08-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

It's nearly 10am (usually I'm up way before this, but it's Sunday) and I've just rationed out my baby food portions for today. The way I'm told this strange little cleanse works is that you eat up to 10 portions of organic baby food every day with a nutritious adult meal thrown in there at some point. Today is my first day and it'll also be a little more lenient because my presence is being requested at my parents' table when they have friends over for lunch. I also have no idea how the baby food is going to react with my body so today will be a bit of a test run.

Food for today:
-1 hard boiled egg
-10 raspberries
-1 SMALL serving of a baby back rib
-1 serving of collard greens
-4 multigrain chips
-some homemade salsa
-6 cans of baby food ranging from butternut squash to baby's first mango...
-100+ ounces of water

10am:
-oat/grape/cherry baby food
-butternut squash & corn baby food (this I did mainly because I wanted to hurry up and find out what this particular one tasted like)

11am:
-worked out for 45 minutes

12:30pm:
-pretty hungry. but not insanely hungry. i timed the workout so that it would end before lunch. the only reason i'm waiting to eat is because my parents are bringing people home for lunch.
-drinking a lot of water to make up for it

1:30pm
-3 oz. of lean spareribs
-1 cup of collard greens with pepper vinegar

6:00pm
-Carrots puree
-Sweet potato puree
-Squash & Turkey puree
-Apple/Vanilla/Oat puree

Wow...well, it's now 7:45pm and I feel great. Today (aside from the workout) was a pretty lazy day so the lowered calorie intake probably didn't effect me as much.

Good Baby Cuisine:
-sweet potatoes (were awesome.)
-apple/vanilla/oat was totally fantastic and i just might continue to eat it as a sweet snack after the cleanse
-the turkey was not half bad. it was just a matter of getting past the texture.

Bad Baby Cuisine:
-my gag reflex kicked into full gear when i had to down the carrots. Bleh.

I am now on ounce number 85 of water for the day.

On to Day 2...!!!

Movie Review: The Kids Are All Right

2010-07-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

"The Kids Are All Right"

I just saw my favorite movie of the summer. (Sorry, Inception. I hope we can still be friends.)

The past ten years have been full of the kitschy little "indie" films that focus on endearing, dysfunctional families who realize that in the end they're all each other has and the end credits are cued by Cat Power, Frou Frou, or some other so-hipster-it's-become-obnoxious band. I'll be honest, as enjoyable as they are the first time around I've become really bored with them. I end up rolling my eyes and avoiding all of the hipster teens who've decided that the lead teen in the movie is now their idol because they soooooo identify with their plight.

"The Kids Are All Right" is none such movie.

The premise is pretty simple...Julianne Moore and Annette Bening play a married couple with two teenage kids who decide they want to meet their sperm donor. Enter, Mark Ruffalo. He attempts to become part of their family and all hell ensues. To be honest, there's not much of a plot. The dialogue does not drive things and there's no real point. But in this case, it's actually a great thing. There's no message in this movie. It's all means and no end and it works perfectly. It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, old, young, Christian, atheist, Jewish, or Muslim this movie is just plain GOOD.

Per usual, I'll give you what I loved and what I didn't love so much...

What I Loved:

-The writing is absolutely some of the best I've seen in a long time. The jokes are so natural and perfectly played out by the entire cast...there's never a single moment of, "I'm quirky, let me see how many quirky things I can say in response to the quirky thing you just said! Wheee!! Quirk party!"

-The lack of message, pandering, and political correctness. It just gives it to you straight. (hah-hah.) You're not expected to go into this movie and change your mind about gay marriage, adoption, sperm donors, or whatever else is brought up in the film. You will not leave feeling manipulated. I have to give major props to the filmmakers for this because what I detest so much about modern cinema is the CONSTANT emotional manipulation of the audience.

-Julianne Moore. Let's face it. I love her in anything. She's one of the most talented actresses that exists and I really think this movie is going to get her a first, much deserved, and way overdue Academy Award. She's not playing a 1950s housewife or overly emotional socialite. This is a role she's never played before and she does it beautifully. Her character is a directionless, hippie, whose ADD drives her wife (Annette Bening) crazy and who gets caught up in a fling with the sperm donor after he shows interest in her work. She's funny, adorable, and the speech she gives to her family in the end is heartbreaking and so, so real. LOVE her.

-Annette Bening. She's the borderline alcoholic other mother who is a very successful, Type A doctor and hates that Sperm Donor Mark has entered their family picture. Bening does a marvelous job in the movie as well but I'm hoping they'll reserve the nomination for Moore.

-Mark Ruffalo. This guy, is beyond a shadow of a doubt, the most underrated actor of his generation. He's so subtle and lovely in every single movie he does and I love how unobtrusive his performances are. No wonder he's flown under the radar for so long...he shows up, does his work, and watches while the more assertive actors around him get nominated for everything under the sun. I really think this movie will get him his first Oscar nomination. His character (Paul) is an organic farmer starting his own restaurant in California...he's a motorcycle driving, wine enthusiast, who lives life on his own terms and has no real responsibilities or rules. Oh, and damn, is he ever sexy.

-The kids. Mia Kawaskaaoskwwaka (Alice from Alice In Wonderland...) and Josh Hutcherson are so authentic as teenagers (I loved seeing Mia's imperfect skin) and they were so awkward and unpretentious without even trying. I want them to be MY kids.

-The Ending. Once again, I loved that there was no real message or huge POINT to this film. It is what it is: The Kids Are All Right. It does not end the way you expect it will. There's no huge pay-off and no final scene where the new whole family is eating around the dinner table being dysfunctional and quirky together. You will cry though. This movie is not self-indulgent whatsoever and does exactly what is needed for the characters and story.

What I Didn't Like:
-Nothing. I loved every single frame, sound, and GLANCE that the actors were giving each other in this movie. Well freaking done, Focus Features. Keep 'em coming.

Movie Review: Sex & the City 2

2010-05-28T15:56:00.001-07:00

For me it was this dress. When I saw this photograph on one of the release posters for SATC 2 I had a reaction straight from Carrie Bradshaw's mouth to my heart. "Heelllooo, lover." I have this picture on my desktop...because I am so in love with this dress. I'm not one to have random celebrity pictures on my desktop but I look at this glorious piece of fabric-y art and it just makes me smile. I want to go to the Oscars, get married, and SLEEP in this dres. Ahem. Sorry. I'll move on to the review.

Before I saw SATC 2 I read a lot of reviews on the film and they were absolutely scathing..and that's a nice way of putting it. I, however, ignored them completely because a) anything Liza Minnelli is in I will watch and I will love b) Aiden's back!!! and c) the aforementioned dress. So, with a cosmo in tow I had a day date with my sister to decide for myself. After having seen the film I now understand the scathing reviews...but I loved the movie just the same.

What's It About? Carrie & Big have been married for 2 years and have hit a rough patch. Miranda is trying to balance being a mother, wife, and working woman. Charlotte has her dream life but her daughters are driving her crazy. Samantha is trying to trick her body into thinking it's younger. After making friends with a sheikh the girls are invited to a luxury vacation in Abu-Dabi and then many antics ensue.

What I Loved:
-The ladies. I love this cast. Kristin Davis is a puffy little ball of adorable and I just want to BE Sarah Jessica Parker when I grow up. I think she's lovely, talented, and just fantastic.

-The clothes.

-Liza. I will go head to head with any drag queen on amateur night to prove my love for Liza Minnelli. She officiates a marriage ceremony and then sings Single Ladies and DANCES. This woman has had two strokes and viral enciphilitis and she still just rocks. Streisand and Cher, my ass. Minnelli's where it's at. Is the scene cliched and over the top? Absolutely. But it's delightful so I don't care.

-Aiden. He probably had about 10 minutes of screen time but a piece of my heart has always belonged to him and I'm sad he and Carrie ended the way they did.

-The mommy/wives. There's been a lot of criticism about Charlotte wearing a vintage designer skirt when cooking cupcakes with her daughters. Her eldest gets angry for attention, covers her hands in paint, and subsequently ruins the skirt, causing Charlotte to have a complete Mom Meltdown. I LOVE that Charlotte is wearing her best while being a housewife. Why is that so bad? Sure, she'll ruin some clothes but at least she's still at the point where she wants to take care of herself and feel good about herself before dealing with her kids all day. Miranda's struggle with balancing her wifelyhood, mommyhood,and working womanhood is brutal but I loved the heart to heart that her and Charlotte shared on their vacation. There's a really great scene where they have a confessional about all of their insecurities and admissions about being mothers...more women should have this. I'm so sick of hearing mothers compare themselves to other mothers and just guilting themselves to death over their children. Just love yourself, love your kids, and chill out! I love that SATC was bold enough to open that door to discussion about modern day motherhood. Rock on, Michael Patrick King.

What I Did Not Like:
-The script. It bothered me that the girls' actual story lines were only brushed over when they got so much more attention in the first film. It was a shame because I wanted to see less desert and more Miranda and Steve. I really wanted more meltdowns and nanny interaction with Charlotte. I'm not sure where it went wrong as I found it completely watchable but it was definitely too much desert and not enough city.

-The Middle Eastern portrayal. Now. I am all for politically incorrect humor. I love turning stereotypes on their head. But it's one thing to take a culture and disrespect it in a really huge way. I wasn't necessarily offended by it but I was definitely disappointed in it. It was fine until one particular sequence towards the end when Samantha has her purse wrestled from her and it's thrown to the ground. Everything spills out and lots of condoms are included in this. She ends up being circled by a mob of angry Muslim men and she stands up and yells, "YES. YES, it's true. I. HAVE. SEX." Which I understand..being a liberated American woman I'm still a bit rattled at the sexual repression/oppression that goes on around the world. But I would never go to a different country and blatantly disrespect their customs and faith simply because I believed differently. It was weird, cartoonish, and really crossed a line for me.

-The story was a bit anticlimactic and that only goes back to the fact that they didn't spend enough time on the girls' stories back in the city.

-There was only a teeny tiny bit of Aiden. And wow...when he picked up Carrie and spun her around when they saw each other I remembered how much I liked him.

SATC 2 is not as good as the first one...but what sequels are? It has a banging soundtrack, glorious amounts of clothes that make me salivate and quiver with envy, personal butlers, and burkas! Yes, it is 2 1/2 hours long. No, the plot is not as tight or as emotional as the first one. But quite frankly, I didn't care. There's a reason that goes beyond sex, Carrie's puns, and every sentence that Samantha decides to turn into a sexual innuendo that still makes SATC 2 so great: It makes me unafraid to grow older. What SATC did for inserting women's enjoyment of sex into the mainstream of society, it has now done with women growing older. Do I get married? Am I a good mother? Why isn't marriage what I thought it would be? How do I balance/justify working and being a wife and mother at the same time? Say what you want about the lack of emotional punch that the original had...but I really commend the movie for so honestly bringing to light guilt that mothers feel and doubt after marrying who you thought was the love of your life.

Lost: The End

2010-05-24T08:27:00.001-07:00

Wow. It's over.

Lost has been an enormous part of my life for the past 3 years and I don't regret a second of it. It's probably one of the most genius things to ever surface on television and while I have my issues with aspects of it and I thought the finale was anti-climactic I do have my thoughts on why this was done. This is not going to be an organized review at ALL...but if you've hung on to Lost for the past six years you should have no difficulty following along. :)

After a conversation last night with a friend who was so pissed off about the end of Lost that she said she was officially breaking up with it it caused me to think a lot more deeply about what exactly the finale had done. When I went into the finale I was not expecting much to be completely honest. I knew they would do more service to it than Abrams did with the ending of Alias (a show I TRULY broke up with after the finale) but I also knew that the intellectual punch would probably not be packed. I was incredibly excited though and jumped on for the ride from the beginning.

Here's why I ended up being pretty much apathetic at the outcome of the story...the truth of the sideways world did not work for me for 2 reasons.

1. It's been done before. See: Titanic. And I'm a huge fan of Titanic. And while I cried my eyes out when Rose met up with Jack in her pretty white dress and everyone stood around and clapped I watch that scene today and roll my eyes. I just don't care.

2. This is a technicality with the story telling aspect of the show. Over the past six years we've jumped time, added characters, removed characters, seen dead people, who is actually good or bad, WHEN are we?!, that I was totally numb to any fantastic explanation of the weird. Does that make sense? If the island had spun off into outer space I still would have said,"Huh." and accepted it because that's what the show has been asking us to do for SIX years. Say, "Huh." and accept it.

The sideways world and the church also explore the "happily ever after" notion. While I do believe in a paradise-esque after life it has nothing to do with MY building it as a place to meet up with my pals so we can "move on" together. I hate that kind of egotistical new age bull shit. I think the biggest and most relevant kind of peace that these characters could have found was in their real, physical world because this was where they were living out their purpose.

I really wish they had focused more on the build up of Jacob & Smokey's replacements. (I do believe Smokey has been replaced, by the way, and I believe that replacement is Ben. I'll explain in a minute.) This season has been so brilliant for me because it returned to the original mythology and philosophy of the island. It talked about purpose, free will, and good vs. evil. The ending where EVERYONE is redeemed & in a church uprooted a lot of that and I believe it was the writers' cop out way of saying that all is happily ever after. It was generic and lacked conviction. It reminded me of the end of Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows (which I LOVED by the way.) But JK Rowling's response to the end was a cop out so as to not piss people off. Even though the final chapters of Book 7 were straight out of the fricking New Testament and Harry is the closest thing to a Christ figure in literature since Aslan she CLAIMED that there was no inspiration from Christianity. Calling your bull shit Rowling. Just because your story actually SAID something (whether you actually believe in Christianity or not is irrelevant) doesn't mean you had to sugar coat it to please everyone else...nobody who's ever said anything of importance in the world has been all inclusive to the masses.

What's also sad is that I LOVED the events in the sideways world. I loved seeing everyone reconnect in different ways and really hoped that somehow the sideways world would be reality and after all of the drama on the island went down EVERYONE would have died on the island but would have lived in the sideways world. I don't like that the sideways world was just made up.

I did love Jack's ending. (not the church part, but his actual death in the bamboo forest) I thought that last shot really did the show justice.

With all of this said...and I do have a lot more to say..I definitely got choked up at the flashbacks and loved seeing people reunited. I thought it was sweet. But not necessary.

If I were Cuse/Lindelof I would have scratched the ENTIRE time travel ordeal and would have just stuck with them getting back to the island and battling Smokey and figuring out who Jacob was and what their purpose was. I really think the show lost emotional investment from people when it introduced time travel because we had to suspend our sense of logic so much at that point that each episode was just an exercise in waiting for them to answer questions. So if they threw something bizarre like,"Ben runs around terrorizing people in a polar bear costume!" (a la M. Night Shyamalan's The Village) we would accept and wait for explanation. People can deal with things quickly mentally but it's easy to forget that our emotions do require patience and nurturing to catch up.

Ok, so why do I believe Smokey will eventually be replaced by Ben? Because Jacob doesn't have a sidekick. Just because Smokey/Locke was "defeated" by Jack/Jacob doesn't mean the Evil Smoke went away. If Evil went away then there would be no need for a protector of the island. Therefore, Smokey MUST have a successor. The vessel that is Locke is now gone and the two people left on the island are Ben and Hurley. Hurley is the protector. And while I ADORE Ben Linus with my whole soul, he is an untrustworthy little man with a mild sociopathic streak. He has never done anything on the show without an ulterior motive and has ALWAYS been after power. If you think for one second that he found his "purpose" by being Hurley's #2 you're dead wrong. It was Ben's loop hole. It was his way of gaining a foothold so that good vs. evil would continue.

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast.

2010-05-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

Things never do go according to plan.

The September graduation and subsequent move back to Los Angeles has been postponed until December. Why? It turns out I still need more credits to get my B.A. Six months. As opposed to three. I know this is not much at all but it means I'll be spending two more full seasons here and that scares me. It scares me because I feel like I'm in one of those dreams where I have to run as fast as I can but my legs just won't go. I SEE where I am supposed to be but I just can't seem to get there. It's like I've been turned into a statue while the rest of the world goes on beside me. I also feel like a broken record because, believe me, I know I harp on about this constantly.

This week it will have been a year since I left Los Angeles. I remember bawling my eyes out all the way to pick my Dad up from the airport and quickly giving him a tour of where I lived even though we needed to get on the road. But I had to. I had to give someone PROOF that I was there and that I had an existence outside of Charleston or Indianapolis. I left LA with a pile of debts that I couldn't pay and just an overwhelming feeling of defeat and failure. I know that I needed to go. I didn't have a choice. I am thankful for all of the things that I've been taught over the past year, even though this year has absolutely been the most difficult year of my life. I'll be 25 in a month and that scares the hell out of me.

Where does that leave me now? With a plan. When I returned from my vacation in Charleston I was rejuvenated and relaxed and the first thing I did was open a bank account. Why don't you have a bank account of your own, you ask? Because I owe money to my previous bank. Then Chase comes up with this new thing where you can open a limited "second chance" bank account that's six different types of fabulous because I have my own bank account!!!! For the first time in a YEAR!!! I know that you all probably take this for granted, but until you have to keep all of your money in the same account as your parents' and have to ASK them to write you a check whenever you need money it is an invaluable thing to have your own account.

Things I've Accomplished:
-Opened bank account. (Yay!)
-Paid two tickets from the LAPD that I did not have money to pay until now. (Yay!!)
-Paid off my Verizon account and can now get it reinstated. (Yay!!!)

Slowly but surely I'm getting the necessary things paid off. I have a credit score that I don't want to talk about.

My six month countdown begins now. When I moved to LA I was 22 and was still in that stage of wondering what I was going to do with my life and still being a kid. When I moved back into my parents' house last year that changed entirely. While the quarter-of-a-century number scares me I'm excited to turn 25 because there are literally no more excuses.

Six Month Goals:
-Pay off necessary debt and raise credit score.
-Have $5,000 in the bank to move to LA with.
-Chop off all of the wasted time I spend freaking out and obsessing over life and use it to do homework or something productive.
-Get all A's these next two semesters. (Except math, that won't happen.)
-Have a set plan for each day with a check list and actually complete it.

Movie Review: Iron Man 2

2010-05-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

Directed By: Jon Favreau
Starring: Robert Downey, Jr. , Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson

I will start by saying that I did not dislike this movie. Just the opposite. I quite enjoyed it. The critics of the film have some things right by saying it's a bit disjointed and doesn't know which plot to focus on but it really bothers me that they pick on the fact that it's very character driven. Of COURSE it's character driven. You don't freaking get Robert Downey, Jr, Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow, Scarlett Johansson, Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L. Jackson, and Garry Shandling together in a movie and NOT utilize their acting talents. The majority of these people have either WON or been NOMINATED for multiple Academy Awards. I would have been pissed if I'd have to watch an over melancholy Christian Bale-esque performance in lieu of the AWESOME that is Tony Stark.

Basically the movie revolves around a few different plots...Tony is being stalked by scary Mickey Rourke (Ivan Vanko) who has replicated his light-up nuclear thing in his chest and wants to kill Tony because it's the Starks' fault that his father died a raging alcoholic, Tony's own iron man suit is being pursued by the American government so they can use it for their own purposes, Tony is also being pursued by S.H.I.E.L.D. to join up and be all avenger-like, Tony is a raging alcoholic who's new Iron Man capabilities are causing him to be more narcissistic and self-destructive than ever, he's also dealing with some mad daddy issues, and, OH, he's dying..because the palladium in his chest is leaking out and killing him.

Soooo, yeah. Lots going on in this film.

What I Liked:
-The acting. Gwyneth Paltrow is STELLAR as Pepper. I love how her character has totally grown and adapted to the changes since Tony became Iron Man in a realistic and hilarious way. Love her in this. Mickey Rourke. He's pretty much a genius and super funny and scary as the villain in this. Favreau is a GENIUS for casting Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer. The majority of Hammer's scenes would have been super boring filler had Rockwell not played Hammer as he did. He was hilarious and a total douchebag. (I'm a sucker for the supporting actors.) Downey could so totally phone it in since he's got the franchise in the bag and does self-destructive narcissism as no actor can...but with a seemingly simple character he makes him complex and you just can't take your eyes off him. I honestly believe that this is the only cast in the world who can make a super hero franchise that is a sheer character study. Don Cheadle..I loved Terrance Howard as Rhodey. I really did. But something about Cheadle just made it more...I don't know. He was more IN it. His chemistry with Downey was awesome and I actually thought he was way underused.

-Naturalism. One thing I really like about Iron Man is that it's not trying to be a super hero movie with idiotic one liners. It actually takes itself seriously (but not to the point of Dark Knight) and just puts the audience at ease when watching it.

-The soundtrack. Completely ridden with AC/DC and a fantastic party scene where DJ AM (who has an adorable cameo) comes up with two mixes of California Love and Another One Bites the Dust for Rhodey & Tony to fight to.

What I Did Not Like:

-I thought they got overly excited about how successful the first Iron Man was and so they basically tried to fit two movies into one. Here's how it would have gone down if I had been on board: Iron Man 2 would have been solely about Tony fighting with the government over his suit, Hammer would have been the main villain, and Vanko would have just been briefly introduced with maybe only 7-10 minutes of total screen time. The THIRD movie would have been about Tony dying, coming to terms with his father's legacy, and then fighting to the death with Vanko after all of the drones are made. That way they would have been able to use more of Johansson (who I really liked as Natasha, but because the movie was so jam packed full of everything else she was underused and subsequently pointless.)

At any rate, the movie is insanely fun to watch (I've seen it three times) and just what you want a summer blockbuster movie to be.

This is a "6 Months Later" sequel.

Movie Review: Robin Hood

2010-05-14T19:32:00.000-07:00

Directed By: Ridley Scott
Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Oscar Isaac, Eileen Atkins, William Hurt...and a lot of other people.

Tonight the family and I went to see Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood." I will admit that I was not entirely stoked to see the film. It's been panned a bit by critics but I'm an unabashed fan of Russell Crowe and would shell out tons of money to watch Cate Blanchett act (LOVE this woman.) The movie ended about an hour ago and I wanted to post this review before my "Iron Man 2" review simply because I don't want people to NOT watch "Robin Hood" simply because the critics are not liking it for some reason.

I absolutely loved this movie. It is one of the few films that manages to portray about 4 different plot lines in a completely cohesive and intelligible way. All of the loose ends were connected and tied together in the end and I really appreciated that. If "Robin Hood" were a comic series then this movie would be the "origins" story. It is the story of HOW Robin Hood became the legend. I'm not really sure what movie critics have been watching. So far I've read that the movie "has no point," "no real direction," "should have been a comedy." (??????)

I am a stickler for plots and will be the first to criticize and flip out at the misuse of a story but I just couldn't see it in "Robin Hood." The characters were fun and the movie was so fast paced that it absolutely did not feel like 140 minutes long. It ended precisely where it should have and the audience was engaged the entire time. I love being in a theatre full of energetic people enjoying a film.

So...

What I Loved:
-Prince/King John. The actor's name is Oscar Isaac and prepare yourselves, this guy's going to be big. He's hot. He's a good actor. And he's DAMN hilarious. I would be surprised if he doesn't get an Oscar nomination for this. He did with Prince John what Christoph Waltz did with his Nazi character in "Inglourious Basterds." He is the Justin Hammer of "Robin Hood." (Can you tell I've already written my "Iron Man 2" review in my head?) He is smarmy, vile, and a complete idiot. He steals every scene he's in and I love that we're in an age where supporting roles have become so crucial. Christoph Waltz. Penelope Cruz. Heath Ledger. All of these people just perfect these smaller bits and it makes me so happy. They just help carry the film.

-Dame Eileen Atkins. She plays Eleanor of Acquitane and the mother of Prince John. She's in very little of the movie but an actor of her caliber is just what's needed for the part. She took every scene she was in from the hands of the rest of the actors, chewed it up, swallowed, and then regurgitated it while laughing at them all.

-Cate Blanchett. Because I love her.

-The Merry Men. They are SO merry. And so sexy. And so much fun. Friar Tuck was absolutely delightful and Will Scarlett and Little John were perfectly cast. No stereotyping or slap stick. Lots of warrior-ness and fun to be had.

-The Lack of Violence. I was officially turned off of gratuitous violence when I watched Mel Gibson slaughter several English soldiers with a HATCHET in "The Patriot." I don't like to see bits of flesh flying everywhere and I think that pointless violence is as offensive as pointless sex in movies. It's exploitative. I really loved that in "Robin Hood" they mainly just used arrows so even in crazy epic battle scenes all you saw were a bunch of arrows getting stuck in chain mail. Yaaayyyyy! I didn't have to close my eyes once.

-The humor. So often in movies like "The Patriot," "Gladiator," "Troy," and "Braveheart" they are so focused on their dismal stories of oppression and revenge that they never smile and EVERYONE dies. Not so, in "Robin Hood." No one's family is ever horrifically slaughtered and the jokes run rampant through the movie. There's only one inspirational speech and it's shockingly well written and moving.

What I Did Not Like:
-The movie was ALMOST ruined for me when Cate Blanchett decided to join the troops and fight. Like...it really pissed me off. There was an entire scene of just bad, sorry, awful dialogue that accompanied this and I want to punch the producers for letting it stay in there. If I'd gotten my hands on this script I would have taken one look at this particular scene and said,"Cut it. This is stupid. Why would you ever think that this would work? It's dumb, makes no sense, has no relevance to the story, and I officially have no respect for you, smarmy screenwriter, for putting something so cliched in my movie. That man at the end of the table is not Jerry Bruckheimer or Michael Bay. He's freaking Ridley Scott. Now, kindly remove your hands from your ass and write me something decent." But it WAS only one scene so I forgave it...the rest of the movie is fantastic.

The consensus? It's a great movie. It's a super fun movie. If you love action ridden period pieces you will love it. It's super fun and actually totally family appropriate for kids, say, 12 and over.

"What are the 2 most commonly used double consonants? The double L."

2010-04-09T07:38:00.000-07:00

I can't get that line out of my head. I've watched the movie 'Zodiac' about 14 times in the past 3 months and still have no clear idea of what I'm going to write about aside from the adaptation process and...the morals of using real life as a premise for a film? I don't even know.

It's been a long time since I wrote a blog that wasn't a movie or book review so I'm just checking in to say hi and update my faithful people on my life. I so just need for school to be over. Every single week I feel like a complete failure because I can't come up with any assignments on time and now I have 4 weeks left in the semester and in that time the following are due: research paper proposal on social speech patterns, 10 page research paper on social speech patterns, 10 page research paper on gender roles in King Lear, The Merchant of Venice, and Othello, a 4 page essay on Evil, a 6 page paper on Evil, a history final exam, and the mother...a 20 page research paper on adapting real life into film specifically using true crime and I am focusing on the Clutter killings in Kansas that inspired Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood" and the Zodiac killer in San Francisco.

I wake up in the morning and am so overwhelmed with all that I have to do that I don't know where to begin and subsequently lay in bed for HOURS making lists...because if I make lists I feel like I've accomplished something. Then I realize nothing was accomplished and I have to either a) go to class or b) go to work.

The exciting thing about my current state of crazy is that throughout all of my insane, obsessive research on the Zodiac killer and the David Fincher film 'Zodiac' I finally realized what I want to do. I used to always use the blanket statement, "I wanna work in movies." Ok. Doing what exactly? I don't have the focus or desire to work as an actor. I want to be involved in the entire big picture of the film from start to finish. I really like the idea of Writer-Producer attached to my name in the middle of a credit reel. I like that idea a lot.

I have slated myself to return to the Southland (my new favorite tv show BY THE WAY) at the end of September. This will happen if I can pay up my bank accounts, car insurance company, and phone company. I'm really, really hoping this will happen. But in all seriousness...Southland. Do y'all watch this show? It makes me want to date cops. Every police officer I see now I think,"Oh.. M. G. Is he hot? Is he single? Would he transfer to Los Angeles just so I can wear his LAPD navy blue tshirts?" My ADD digresses...Southland is brilliant. NBC is officially the most moronic company simply because they let Life, Southland, AND Conan O'Brien leave. I miss Life a lot. I would miss Southland even more though and am so thankful that TNT had the good sense to pick it up. Brilliantly acted and directed. They cast REAL gang members to play the gang members!!! I love seeing so many of my old haunts featured on the show and it's just delightfully true to life. I love movies/tv that are set in LA but only when they do the city justice.

Ok...the sister and I are going to see 'Date Night.' The premise looks pretty stupid. But this is the cast: Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Mark Ruffalo, James Franco, Mila Kunis, aaannddd Jimmi Simpson (who plays Michael Mageau in ONE brilliant scene in 'Zodiac.' LOVE him.) Basically this movie cannot be bad. It's impossible. It had me at Tina Fey.

Alice In Wonderland-Movie Review

2010-03-06T16:01:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. I said it was an Alice In Wonderland review. This has relevance, I swear. The photo (taken by the fabulous Helen Joy George at Chicago's Navy Pier) features a makeshift outfit that we created using my striped shirt, huge black belt, and TWO enormous black and red tu-tus that she found at Goodwill. I loved prancing around Chicago in my crazy French pirate queen costume and had to break out the photos again when I saw Alice In Wonderland today! The scene where Alice goes to the Red Queen's castle and the queen dresses her and they watch the "fat boys" perform contains a costume (the one Alice is wearing) that looks like an inspiration from Me, the French Pirate Queen of Chicago. It made me really happy.

Ahem, on to the review.

I went into the movie completely biased towards it because even though I know that Tim Burton really digs making movies "his own"...like Sleepy Hollow. It bothers me. As a lover of literature I think the greatest kinds of films are the ones that can be adapted accurately from the original text. No matter. I love Tim Burton. I love Johnny Depp. I love Helena Bonham Carter. I will watch anything they are in.

Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland is set 13 years after Alice originally fell down the rabbit hole. She has just been proposed marriage by a gnarly toothed ginger who has the personality of a stick. In an attempt to run away from her surprise engagement party she falls down the rabbit hole and ends up in Underland. Soon after, she finds out that she has been brought back to Underland to defeat the Red Queen by killing the Jabberwocky thus giving power of Underland back to the Red Queen's sister the White Queen.

The film itself is long and reeaalllyyy drags in places. There are a couple of truly awful gimmicky one-liners that only the likes of Disney could have created. I do not blame Tim Burton for this as his dialogue is usually pretty fun to listen to. But Alice's triumphant (but painful) "Off with YOUR head!!!" at the Jabberwocky in the end was nothing short of obnoxious. I don't think that Burton really had an end in mind when he made the film. Each scene felt like it was TRYING to say something that would add to the story but it never really happened. It was very difficult to become invested in the actual plot when the characters all run around occasionally uttering pertinent lines but are usually just saying things like,"Alice! Alice! It's Alice! Hey, Alice! How are you, Alice? Here's some magic potion Alice!" it became really difficult to like it as much as I wanted to. I was also really disappointed in one of my usual favorite Tim Burton movie elements: Danny Elfman's score. Yes, he composed this. I can say very definitively that this is his most unimaginative composition in the history of his films. It is so lackluster that I didn't even realize it was him until I saw his name in the credits. I've heard better scores on television shows. I'm not sure why he just seemed to give up with this one but, c'mon Elfman, it's Alice In Wonderland. This should have been the PINNACLE of your most bizarre efforts at musicality. Blergh.

With that, I have to give Burton huge props with what he was trying to do with the story. One of the big messages that is missed by children when they watch Alice In Wonderland or read the stories is that the lessons learned throughout are wonderful life lessons. "I give myself very good advice, but very seldom follow it..." is one of my most favorite lines from a Disney musical ever. I never quite understood Alice's plight until I re-watched the cartoon version as an adult and now I am just in love with her. Tim Burton had so much potential to bring a true heroine to the screen and it failed to pack that emotional punch that it deserved.

Ok...the performances...

Mia Wasikowska-Alice
I thought she was good enough but I think Burton falls short in the way that sometimes he casts women based solely on the fact that they look like the women he wants them to look like. The pale, corpse looking Barbie doll or...Helena Bonham Carter. He did this with the girl he cast as Johanna in Sweeney Todd and it was the most epic of fails. I really think this movie would have shined more if Saoirse Ronan had been cast.

Johnny Depp-The Mad Hatter
His first scene is electric, fun, creepy, and just pure Johnny Depp gold. Then for some reason Burton shoves him on the back burner...yes, he's there for the rest of the movie but all he does is become a bit of a static action star. It was really annoying to me because if you're going to put Johnny Depp in a movie you better give him some kick ass lines to knock out of the ball park because he's one of the most genius character actors ever. He was just thoroughly underused and that made me sad inside.

Helena Bonham Carter-The Red Queen
I could go on and on about how much I just want to BE this woman. I adore her in everything she's ever been in and she's just in this fabulous class of Bizarre But Seriously Talented Women all her own. Her performance is by far the best in the movie. She absolutely carries it. I really believe that Carter absolutely convinced herself that she was, indeed, The Red Queen while they were shooting. She's heartless, narcissistic , and I loved every second of her screen time.

Anne Hathaway-The White Queen
Ok. When you cast Helena Bonham Carter in a role and then you need to cast her arch-nemesis (her younger sister, The White Queen) you really should cast someone who can hold their own against Carter. Especially if The White Queen wins in the end. The dichotomy is a lot like the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda from The Wizard of Oz. Hathaway has just shot up my chart of Least Favorite Actors to Watch. She over acts. When I say over acts...I mean the girl acts like she's in a silent film or on stage in the movie. Every line is uttered as though she's doing a bad Julie Andrews impression. Her arms raised and her hands poised in a balletic lilt look like she watched Amy Adams' performance in Enchanted on a loop when trying to decide on The White Queen's body language. Speaking of Amy Adams...why didn't Burton cast her? Or Emily Blunt for that matter. I don't know why Emily Blunt doesn't get all of the roles that Hathaway receives. She's a far superior actress and concentrates on the work and not how the work will make her image look among the intellectuals like Hathaway. One of my biggest pet peeves is when actors put the focus on how they look on camera instead of WHO the character is so you can literally see them reading their lines in their head as they're saying them.

With all of this said, it's a very fun movie. My mother LOVED it. But then again Johnny Depp could make a movie where he works in an aluminum can factory and has a vomiting disorder and they would find it utterly charming. As would I.

Movie Review: A Single Man

2010-02-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I decided to see one of the two Best Picture nominees I had not yet seen. (I found out later that 'A Single Man' was NOT the Best Picture nominee but actually 'A Serious Man') I saw 'A Single Man.' I was really looking forward to it as Colin Firth got a nomination for Best Actor for the film. I didn't really know what it was about and was only expecting some kind of character driven drama with fabulous acting and a haunting score.

Bottom Line: This movie succeeded in every way that 'Brokeback Mountain' failed. It is more important. It is more realistic. It is more relevant. More importantly, there are no twanging banjos and random images of farm animals roaming hills for MINUTES on end.

The story is one by Christopher Isherwood. Christopher Isherwood. Ahhh, his names brings happy memories of high school and my discovery of the GENIUS that is the musical 'Cabaret'...in all its forms. Whether it be the original broadway production, film directed by Bob Fosse, or Sam Mendes' chilling revival in 1998 I. Love. Christopher. Isherwood. It's his story. He was the English bisexual Cliff/Bryan writer working in weimar-era Berlin, Germany in the 30s. Sally Bowles was real. The cabaret was real. He wrote it all originally in "The Berlin Stories" and then it was turned into a play called "I Am A Camera"...Kander & Ebb got a hold of it and voila! Cabaret. aka...my favorite musical of all time.

I never read the original story of "A Single Man" in high school but after seeing the movie I saw how Isherwood never left behind Sally Bowles. Ok, I'll stop going on about this and give some plot details...

Colin Firth plays a man in the 1960's who has just lost his lover in a car accident. He wakes up in the morning in Los Angeles and decides that he will commit suicide that night. He goes through the motions of the day which include being a literature professor, befriending a student, and buying copious amounts of alcohol for the positively luminescent Julianne Moore who plays "Charlie" his best friend. There's the plot. Everything in between just holds you from the beginning and lets go gently in the end.

I'm truly offended that Moore was not nominated for this movie. She was robbed...like so many others this year. She was stunning as the Sally Bowles model and if they ever do a non-musical version of "Cabaret" and if she were 10 years younger I would fight for her to play Sally. I think she's one of the rare few American actors who can do an authentic English accent. (Sorry, Renee Zellweger.)

I very specifically wanted to do a shout-out to this film because I think a lot of people are getting confused between this and 'A Serious Man.' Much like they got confused with "30 Rock" and "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip."...then "Studio 60" got the boot and few people have ever seen it even though it's one of the best tv shows I've ever seen. So...don't let 'A Single Man' be the new 'Studio 60.' See it if you get a chance.

An Education...(review)...

2010-02-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

This weekend was a great one. Not only did I get to watch a LOVELY Best Picture nominated film BUT an awful Nicholas Sparks film beat Avatar at the box office. I never thought I'd say this...but Thank you, Nicholas Sparks. Thank you for being such a testes-less writer so as to attract all forms of woman to your movie this weekend to beat the romance of the blue people with the romance of the good girl attracted to the bad boy love story..

Ahem. In my annual quest to watch every single movie and every single performance nominated for Best Something at the Oscars I used my Friday morning to watch "An Education." I knew I was going to love this movie before I even saw it. 1960's England. Peter Sarsgaard. Rosamund Pike. Dominic Cooper. Emma Thompson. Sally Hawkins. Olivia Williams. How could I NOT love it??

The story is simple. A 16 year old school girl whose parents are pressuring her to do everything perfectly so she can study English at Oxford starts a romantic relationship with a man twice her age (Sarsgaard) and begins hanging out with his friends while lying to her parents and avoiding her teachers/mentors at various costs. She tries to grow up too fast...now...before you judge this seemingly trite and already-done story line you need to just take my advice and SEE it. The movie is almost entirely character driven but it's only an hour and a half long so for those of you who loathed The Hours for being "too boring" this will relieve some of that angst.

I have only ONE complaint about the entire movie...I might not even share it..but to be fair, at the very end I shall.

The performances in the movie are stellar. STELLAR. Carey Mulligan (very deservedly nominated for Best Actress) is absolutely amazing. Even though I'm sure it won't go to her I'm officially rooting for her at the awards and can't WAIT for her to star in My Fair Lady in 2012!! Her portrayal of a 16 year old dealing with the confusion of life between a child and a grownup puts Ellen Page down a well and douses her in pitch. She's charming, intelligent, and stupid in all the right ways. I love that she's a know-it-all but makes mistakes constantly through the movie...but she's so damn human and even more adult than the adults she surrounds herself with that you pretty much forgive whatever she does and EMPATHIZE with it. And what can I say, I'm a sucker for a romance between an old guy and a young girl...

Peter Sarsgaard is just beyond himself. He's a brilliant actor, there's no denying that and I'm sad that he won't be sharing nominations with his girlfriend/(wife?) Maggie Gyllenhaal at the Oscars this year. He's the only American actor in the movie PLAYING a Brit and is wonderful.

Dominic Cooper (yes, the guy from Mamma Mia) is fantastically under used and I'm really looking forward to seeing more of his serious work. The guy's got talent.

Rosamund Pike...she is the Joan Holloway of 1960's England. She's SO glam. SO nonchalant. She's 150% woman and I just wanted to BE her for the entire film.

I'm a little offended that Olivia Williams wasn't nominated for Best Supporting Actress. Her role is SO small but she's great. She's just great. She plays a teacher who very much identifies with Carey Mulligan's character and who is basically told by her that she "died" after high school because she just went on and became a teacher. (Have I mentioned how much I identify with Carey Mulligan in the movie...? Because she's basically me.)

Emma Thompson has a small part as the head mistress of the school and is just everything you would imagine a good headmistress to be. She's strict but very understanding...not so understanding though that she lets her students get away with throwing their lives away just because they apologize for it later. Love her.

Last but not least is Sally Hawkins. God Bless Sally Hawkins. I won't say who she plays because she only has ONE scene and it's in the very end. It's incredibly emotional and between her and Carey Mulligan's character...Mulligan has no lines...Hawkins just talks to her..tries to get her to respond to what she's saying...and it's just genius. I was not a fan of Helen Mirren getting a nomination for her 9 minute performance in whatever that movie was a few years ago...but along with Marion Cotillard's one scene in "A Very Long Engagement" and Sally Hawkins' one scene in "An Education" I'd give out awards in a second.

See this movie. It's the only other Best Pic film that I've seen that I liked just as much as "The Hurt Locker" and "Up in the Air."

Oh, look at that. I got so carried away that I forgot to talk about the one thing I didn't like. But I don't have time now. Lucky you. :)

Oscar nominations...let the children weep...

2010-02-02T08:36:00.000-08:00

Oscar Nominations...

I'm less than enthused. It's probably because I know that 'Avatar' is going to sweep and that makes me very sad. Very sad indeed. Also, I thought there was supposed to be a comedy section this year? I also was under the impression that really good actors should be nominated...so...I'm not sure what's going on...

Of all the years to have 10 freaking Best Picture nominations it has to be one of the WEAKEST years for movies. I wish this had been 2007 and then "Zodiac" and "Lars & the Real Girl" would have FOR SURE been nominated.

Best Picture:

Avatar: Sucks.
The Blind Side: Really liked this movie. It's cute. But unoriginal and too sappy. Best Picture? Really?

An Education

District 9

Up:Weren't you just nominated for Best Animated Film? Why are you in this category? Where's (500) Days of Summer?! Where's BROTHERS?!?!!?!?

Precious

Up in the Air: Love.

The Hurt Locker: REALLY love. If The Hurt Locker wins Best Pic...and it won't...I'll be the happiest girl alive. It DID happen for me the year that Crash beat Brokeback Mountain...so maybe it'll happen again.

Inglourious Basterds: I'm also a little astounded that this was nominated for Best Picture...is the Academy so desperate to get Tarantino back in the awards race that they nominated him for this? I mean I LOVED this movie...but Best Picture?

A Serious Man

Best Actor:
George Clooney: Yes.
Jeremy Renner: Absolutely.
Jeff Bridges: Yes.
Colin Firth: Yes.
Morgan Freeman: I'm over you, sir. Your accent faded in and out and your Mandela portrayal was uninspired. This should have gone to, ahem: Joseph Gordon-Levitt for (500) Days of Summer or Robert Downey Jr. for either The Soloist or Sherlock Holmes or Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal for Brothers. I am SO angry that movie was snubbed.

Best Supporting Actor: ...I actually can't argue about this list at all.
Matt Damon
Woody Harrelson
Christopher Plummer
Stanley Tucci
Christoph Waltz

Best Actress:
Sandra Bullock...I think this is Sandy's year. This is her Erin Brockovich and every America's Sweetheart needs one. Just like Walk the Line was Reese Witherspoon's...even though I thought Witherspoon was better than both Roberts and Bullock. But I really do love Sandra Bullock and this was by far her best performance of her career. She really knocked it out of the ball park so I will not be upset if/when she wins.

Meryl Streep...actually deserves it.
Carey Mulligan
Gabourey Sidibe
Helen Mirren

Best Supporting Actress:
Penelope Cruz: Love her. In anything she's in.
Vera Farmiga: And also her.
Maggie Gyllenhaal: It's about damn time. She should have been nominated for Secretary.
Anna Kendrick: I really, really like you. But the fact that you got this instead of Natalie Portman for Brothers is insanely upsetting to me.
Mo'Nique

Best Director:
Kathryn Bigelow: Dear Kathryn Bigelow, if you win Best Director I will seriously do back flips to California and back. Love, Laura. She deserves it. If there will ever be a female who wins Best Director it freaking needs to be Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker. That and I would LOVE to see the look on Cameron's face when he sees his far more talented ex-wife kick his ass in the Oscar race.

Jason Reitman

James Cameron

Quentin Tarantino

Lee Daniels

Original Score:
Sherlock Holmes: Better win or I'm going to seriously freak out. This is one of my new favorite movie scores of ALL TIME. It's SO awesome.
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Up

Movie Review: The Hurt Locker

2010-01-18T11:42:00.001-08:00

Earlier this summer I was looking at movies playing at the local "art theatre" in Indianapolis (basically where all good movies go to be viewed poorly and then die.). I was torn between seeing "The Hurt Locker" (which had been described to me as 'phenomenal') or "(500) Days of Summer." I decided on "(500) Days of Summer" because I figured "The Hurt Locker stood a bigger chance of being around longer. Well...it didn't. I was really sorry.

After my post-Golden Globe Award frenzy I woke up today and decided I must watch all of the movies that will surely be nominated for Best Picture this year. I started with "The Hurt Locker." Let me begin by saying that I love war-time movies. I will rephrase...I love GOOD war-time movies. "The Hurt Locker" now stands as one of the best five war-time movies I have ever seen in my life. The other four are "Saving Private Ryan", "A Very Long Engagement", "Schindler's List", and "Brothers." In my opinion "The Hurt Locker" is the best film ever made about any of the battles in the Middle East in the past 20 years.

It's brilliantly directed by Kathryn Bigelow and is so entrenched in realism that the second the movie started I could not take my eyes away. It is about a group of soldiers whose job it is to find and then dismantle IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices) in Iraq. The cast is filled with virtually unknown but fantastic actors with some cameos by Ralph Fiennes, Guy Pearce, and the Ice Truck Killer from "Dexter" woven in between. I did not feel like I was watching a movie and the actors' lines were so realistic I never felt like there was a real script involved. The movie is that good. I think this is an incredible tribute to what is going on in Iraq right now and the film is at once heroic and completely based in the reality of the situation. There is no political agenda, no award show greed, really there's nothing Hollywood about the film. When I saw Ralph Fiennes appear on the screen I was shocked and excited which was followed by even more shock and excitement when I saw that his role (less than 10 minutes) was so subtle that I just fell even more in love with the way the movie was done. I figured that out of all people to give a huge boost up in their special "cameo" Ralph Fiennes would be the one to be obtrusive and hit it out of the ball park. But he was just another soldier...rattling off dialogue like he'd literally just hopped off the Hum-V that day and was tired from shooting people.

The editing and cinematography reminded me A LOT of David O'Russell's "Three Kings." Lots of close-ups that would suddenly start tiny inanimate objects moving in slow motion while focusing on grains of sand (i feel like that sentence doesn't make sense at all.) were everywhere. It was completely devoid of cliche and the movie is a literal roller coaster ride...my heart was pounding from start to finish because even when Bigelow decides to give us a break by letting us see the soldiers get drunk and have fun or make friends with an Iraqi teenager I never trusted that they were entirely safe. I was thoroughly on edge every second.

I have to say that when I heard this was directed by a female...not only a female...but James Cameron's EX-WIFE AND that she was nominated along side him last night I was thrilled and had an enormous sense of satisfaction in knowing that she is a superior director. She may not have won the Golden Globe award. But the lady is a bad ass. Her directing was FLAWLESS. Kathryn Bigelow shows that you don't need ridiculous CGI effects to mask the fact that you were lazy and didn't bother to get good actors and writers for a film. Kathryn Bigelow is raw. Heartfelt. Bad ass. No wonder her & Cameron didn't work out. He CLEARLY could not handle how much more awesome she is than him. She doesn't have to make up a planet of blue people in 3-D to prove it either.

I would absolutely recommend this to everyone. It's rated R for language and war violence. But the violence is a lot more suspenseful and explosions than it is bloody gore. It's nothing like "Saving Private Ryan" if that's something that you can't watch. There's no sex, no nudity. It's just a good movie. From start to finish. It is a complete thought and lacks nothing.

GO TEAM 'HURT LOCKER'!!!!

1/52 The Reader by Bernard Schlink

2010-01-12T16:27:00.000-08:00

I just finished "The Reader" by Bernhard Schlink as my first in the 52 books I'm reading this year. I had been looking forward to reading this after seeing the movie last year. I was not disappointed.

The story takes place in post-WWII Germany and surrounds the relationship between 15 year old Michael Berg and 36 year old Hanna Schmitz. The writing is simple but completely gripping. From the moment Michael sees Hanna putting on her stockings in her apartment the story puts its hand on your heart and squeezes tighter and tighter with every chapter. The book is divided into 3 parts. The 1st part involves the sexual relationship between Michael and Hanna. He leaves school every day to go spend time with her and she, loving stories, asks him to read to her. Their relationship is entirely secret and Hanna, while giving him her body, gives him nothing else. He knows that she works as a ticket-taker for a train line. He knows her address. Everything else is off limits. On the other side, we learn everything there is to know about Michael...what he has for dinner, his relationship with his parents, each girl he dates outside of Hanna, what he studies in school and university. Part 1 ends with Hanna's disappearance.

Part 2 begins with Michael being a few years older and studying law at university. The story goes from being a star-crossed lovers romance to a suspense thriller when Michael decides to take part in a concentration camp seminar. He goes to the court room where seven women are being tried for war crimes towards the Jews during the Holocaust a number of years earlier. He is stunned when he looks at the group of former Nazis and sees Hanna who is being tried for the most serious crimes.

Part 3 reveals another huge secret that ties all of the events from the 1st and 2nd parts into a nasty little knot that really just put a lump in my throat until I reached the last page.

My review? I'm not usually attracted to straight conversational narratives but Michael Berg's voice written beautifully by Schlink is authentic and I could practically hear his voice breaking throughout the book. It felt like I was sitting on one of the trains with him and he was telling me the story of his life from the age of 15 to the present. It goes far beyond just "Aww, he was in love with her.." In fact, by the second part that isn't a factor at all. He drags you right into into moral dilemma while he struggles to accept the Hanna that he knew and the Hanna who he has found out the truth about...she was an active participant in one of the most notorious genocides in the history of the world. From the moment the trial begins I was struggling with the fact of how much I liked Hanna. Every time I wanted them to see what a "good person" she really was I reminded myself that she was a Nazi. She was a monster who systematically murdered hundreds of people with a single command. At the same time though, I'm an easy target with stories like these. There is nothing I love more than stories that shed light on "evil" people. People are so conditioned to view Nazis as faceless murderers...just shrill German accents shooting lines of Jews that they forget that they had families and that no one grows up wanting to do what they did. Everyone has a reason for the choices they make...and when you find out Hanna's reason you will not be able to let it go.

I absolutely, 100% recommend this book. It's easily jumped into the ranks of my favorite books of all time.

A passage I loved...

"Now escape involves not just running away, but arriving somewhere. And the past I arrived in as a legal historian was no less alive than the present. It is also not true, as otusiders might assume, that one can merely observe the richness of life in the past, whereas one can participate in the present. Doing history means building bridges between the past and the present, observing both banks of the river, taking an active part on both sides. One of my areas of research was law in the Third Reich, and here it is particularly obvious how the past and present come together in a single reality. Here, escape is not a preoccupation with the past, but a determined focus on the present and the future that is blinded to the legacy of the past which brands us and with which we must live...For a long time I believed that there was progress in the history of law, a development towards greater beauty and truth, rationality and humanity, despite terrible setbacks and retreats. Once it became clear to me that this belief was a chimera, I began playing with a different image of the course of legal history. In this one it still has a purpose, but the goal it finally attains, after countless disruptions, confusions, and delusions, is the beginning, its own original starting point, which once reach must be set off from again."

Endurance Test-Reading Challenge for 52 Weeks. The Rules:

2010-01-12T14:29:00.001-08:00

The Rules:

N. B.: These are the rules based on the rules posted by Thomas that are based on those that Travis is following . Changes to these rules are below in bold.

1. This test starts on 01/01/10 and ends on 12/31/10. (Yes, I'm nearly a week late. I'll have to play catch-up.)

1.2. All books must be read between these dates.

1.3. Books began prior to the start date and completed during the contest duration and books finished after the end date but started during the contest duration will not count to the totality of books read.

2. The goal is to read books.

2.1. “Read” is the key word. Books on tape will not count. This is a reading challenge, not a listening one.

2.2. A single literary piece out of an anthology or collection will not suffice. The intent is to read “books,” not “stories.” For the work to count towards the goal, the entire collection must be read and completed.

2.3. Books may be fiction or non-fiction.

2.4. Dramas or long poetic works published as their own separate volumes (i. e., not as part of an anthology) may count as their own books, provided that they exceed 100 pages.

3. 52 books means the whole number quantity directly above fifty one and directly below fifty three. I cannot read 7 books and, at the end of the year, say I completed “five and two,” thus satisfying the 52 requirement.

3.1. Any other creative ways to go about paying lip service to this goal are null and void. 52 is 52.

3.2. Participants may exceed 52 books, provided that said books qualify. (See 2 for details.)

'Avatar': My Review

2010-01-05T14:57:00.000-08:00

Today I buckled down and after hearing from dozens upon dozens of people that I absolutely had to see 'Avatar' I bought a ticket for the 3-D/IMAX version and waited with bated breath to hear the ground break with James Cameron's new film.

The plot is a 3 hour long ordeal so I'll just tell you that it's Pocahontas in the future on a planet called Pandora that looks like a Lisa Frank 3-ring binder.

I understand why 'Avatar' has had such acclaim and success these past couple of weeks. James Cameron is a visual genius when it comes to film making and I really admire his focus. The movie took 12 years to make and that becomes very apparent when during the end credits you see the title "lighting designer" and there's a paragraph of about 30 names beneath. Naturally, the movie is visually stunning. Nothing like this has ever been done in film. It's spectacular to watch but unfortunately...well...

It never gets over itself and gives anyone any reasonable dialogue, acting, or emotional investment.

The Plot: It's a well-known story...wealthy, evil race comes and decides to "civilize" the savages and then the savages, who are inherently more good and connected to the earth, prevail because all of their little forest friends help them in the end. To be honest, I'm over this story. We've spent the past 10 years being self-deprecating, evil, greedy Americans (and a couple of centuries prior as well...) and I'm done with it. Everyone struggles. Everyone's been colonized or occupied at one time or another...I'm just tired of the blame always being placed on us. Anyways...

The Acting/Casting: Awful. Awful. And Awful. Sam Worthington is the most boring piece of crap G.I.Joe actor I think I've ever seen on screen. His American accent is horrific and while I loved Jason Bateman's cameo as his twin brother in the beginning I was very sad that Bateman wasn't in ALL of the movie...because then it would have been better and, dare I say it, entertaining? Sigourney Weaver...I get it. She's the 'Alien' girl. But every single line she uttered sounded like it was straight out of the table read. It was like James Cameron handed her the script as she was coming out of wardrobe and said,"Say that line", she did, and it was terrible. I don't get it because she's been in movies for decades and you'd think she'd be able to do a decent cold reading of something. But apparently she just sucks. All of the other characters were just static, typical action movie stereotypes with dull, overused lines.

This movie has been dubbed as the new 'Star Wars.' It almost is. The special effects are definitely on par with what George Lucas did in the 70's and the impact it had on the movie going public. The thing that is lacking entirely though are the characters. 'Star Wars' had hilarious and hot Han Solo, the morally torn albeit whiny Luke Skywalker, the super kick ass heroine Leia, and then the sci-fi version of Dumbledore...Obi-Wan Kenobi. The rest of the cast is colored with awesome and amusing supporting characters and one of the most notorious villains of all time. What does 'Avatar' have? A scarred up, cruel military leader who's about as scary as Emeril Lagasse.

I do have to say though that I was incredibly impressed with Zoe Saldana's work with her character (she's one of the blue Pandora people..I don't remember her character's name.) She was the only blue Pandora person that I cared about and actually saw as a tangible character instead of a blue Pandora person...actually she was the ONLY character in the entire movie who I saw as tangible and somehow layered and human.

All in all, it was one of those movies that was about 3 hours long and an hour into it I honestly thought it was almost over. Then there were 2 hours left...and then I thought it was almost over...and there was still another hour left...

If action sequences don't get you off then you can just watch the trailer over and over again and you'll get the whole jist of the movie and will have not missed a thing OR you can just go into one of those Thomas Kinkade galleries in the mall and spend 3 hours turning the lights off and on while yelling,"EE-CHEE NAAWWAAAHHH!!!! EYWA says it must be so!!! We are all one with the energy of the earth!"

Bottom line: You'd think that if James Cameron was so willing to spend millions upon millions of dollars to make this movie over the course of 12 years he would have thought to hire a decent writing staff and a casting director with half a brain. Then it would have quite possibly been one of the best movies of the year.

Sherlock Holmes: Guy Ritchie, Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams...

2009-12-29T12:01:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Day after receiving my very own copy of Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" and a glorious forest green snuggie my family devoured a brunch of shrimp, grits, and biscuits. It was then that I was informed that a war was going on...several films were being released on or around Christmas Day and it would be a record breaking holiday. The choice was which side to fight for...'Avatar' was out of the question. I'll see it but I just didn't want to spend my favorite holiday dealing with blue aliens and James Cameron's detail neuroses. I also didn't feel like a romantic comedy between beyond middle-aged people ("It's Complicated" starring Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin), or be disappointed by Rob Marshall's "Nine." It's one of the best things to come out on broadway and I've heard so many awful things about the movie that I didn't want to spend the day pissed off and critiquing constantly...we finally decided on Guy Ritchie's "Sherlock Holmes." I'm so glad we did. :)

If you're looking for a typical set-in-England-based-off-classic-literature period piece you'll be disappointed. C'mon. This is Guy Ritchie we're talking about. It stars three of the most talented and exciting actors WORKING today (Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, and Rachel McAdams) so there's no possible way the movie could have been bad. With that said, I'll start with the bad...

The movie felt a lot like "Pirates of the Caribbean." It's over 2 hours long and while it's incredibly fun and funny the plot does drag in some points and there are SO many back stories waiting to be told and points to be filled in that it's easy to get lost at some parts. The key is to just sit back and let it all soak in. I really wanted to see less of the action sequences and more of a really good and precise mystery for them to focus on with a fabulous twist. There IS one...they do try, I'll give them that. But I think they were so excited about making the movie that it didn't have quite the punch (plot wise) that it needed. But believe me...that should not be enough to sway you from the film. :)

Now for the good...

Visually:
So. Freaking. Awesome. If this doesn't turn you on to the genius that is Guy Ritchie nothing will. He's a bawdy Brit who just oozes himself into everything he makes. "Sherlock" is no exception. The costumes are beautiful and it makes Victorian England feel like a completely badass and fun place to live. There's no stuffiness or Jane Austen stories in the whole damn thing.

Performances:
Honestly, look at the cast list. You literally cannot go wrong. This movie could be about laying bricks and I'd watch and be thoroughly entertained. Rachel McAdams is not in the movie as much as she should be...I'm hoping they were providing her portion of the story for the sequels and three-quels to follow. Her role as Irene Adler is still so great though. She plays a coy American con-artist who is the ONLY person to have ever outsmarted Sherlock Holmes. This is very true to the original Conan Doyle stories even though she only had about a paragraph dedicated to her. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when we first see her with Sherlock and he's completely flipping out because he's so paranoid about her trying to poison him or steal his things. It's the only time you see him unnerved or shaken in the whole thing. LOVE.

I read several reviews of the movie and there are morons out there saying that Downey & Law are most certainly NOT Holmes and Watson. I've read several of the stories and I will be the first to tell you...YES. Oh, YES, they are. They are a far cry from the stuffy BBC versions but they provide the real essence and personalities of them instead of what's become the cliche versions of the pair. The chemistry is totally wonderful and HILARIOUS. They're both completely absorbed in their characters and disappear in them. When I found out that Downey was nominated for Best Actor in the Golden Globes I was honestly really surprised...I didn't see how it could possibly warrant a nomination. (This was before I saw it.) But his version is so detailed and damn layered and amazing it's one of the best things I've seen him do and really hope he'll get an Oscar nod for it. His performance carries the whole film and his bizarre behavior and nuances are on par and beyond Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow. The reason I say it goes beyond is that Jack Sparrow was borderline cartoonish while Downey's Sherlock could easily be placed in a drama or comedy and not change his lines at all. He's that good.

The Music:
Hans Zimmer. Go download it. Right now. It's one of the most exciting, fun, and original scores that I've heard in YEARS. I haven't been this thrilled with movie music since "Atonement"...and if you've read any of my movie review blogs you KNOW how I feel about Dario Marionelli's work with "Atonement." It's some strange twisting between gaelic violins, Danny Elfman, "Pirates of the Caribbean," and a seedy pub in London. It's a for-sure win for Best Score at the Oscars.

:) :) :) :) :)

"Up In the Air"-1st Oscar movie review of the season! :)

2009-12-23T16:21:00.000-08:00

I will not see "Avatar."

I don't care how many years James Cameron put into making this film. I don't care how it's revolutionized visual technology in film. This is all glitter and ribbons to me in the long run. Give me a subtle, 2 hour, brilliantly acted, written, and directed shock to the heart any day over a 3 hour 'shroom fest starring Creatures That Are Blue And Voiced By Real Actors.

Jason Reitman's "Up In the Air" is most likely going to be my favorite movie for Oscar season. Why? Any other year I think it might have been tossed to the wayside...but this year it's just way too relevant to be ignored. The movie is about Ryan Bingham played by George Clooney who basically flies all over the country and fires people for a living. Vera Farmiga plays Alex, a career woman who is basically Clooney's match, who travels everywhere for work as well. Anna Kendrick plays Natalie, the newbie at Bingham's job who is assigned to him to show her the ropes before she starts in on the job.

The movie deals a lot with unemployment...obviously a huge issue right now and Reitman made a genius move in casting REAL people and having them actually be fired by Clooney to place in the movie during the "firing" montages. It deals with family, attachment, and throughout the entire film the question is constantly asked by Clooney's character: "How much does your life weigh?" Clooney's character has no attachment. His life's weight consists of his carry-on bag at the airport and that's all. He's an alien in his family and has no personal attachments or real friends anywhere. Even his one bedroom apartment that he literally spends less than a month in each year isn't decorated, cleaned, and the closet is always empty.

When Natalie enters the picture as a What-Do-I-Do-With-My-Life 20-something Clooney is forced to look at how he's chosen to live his life by never settling...always being "up in the air" so to speak.

Like I said...this is a movie that is for TODAY. I absolutely loved Natalie's character (Anna Kendrick is WONDERFUL) because she's basically Me. I've actually had 40+ year old friends, bosses, and teachers exactly like Clooney's character and I've HAD the same conversations that they have in the movie. Conversations that swirl around not settling for a certain guy or a certain lifestyle and how do we have it all?

The movie is hilarious, tragic, totally devoid of cliche and does not end with a neat bow tied before the credits start to roll. It's so realistic and just shot Clooney way up to the lists of my favorite actors. I am convinced there is no one who could have played this role as easily and subtly as he did.

I'm really hoping Academy voters won't be swayed by James Cameron's computer abilities and will focus their sights on what's actually real when voting time starts.

Go see "Up In the Air"!!!

...because I'm too impatient to wait til New Years Day....

2009-12-17T06:55:00.000-08:00

"Between fight or flight, there's a blind man's side, and a choice that's right."-Jewel (Yes. I am a child of the 90's.)

The past 7 months..(wow, has it actually been 7 months?)have just been a whirlwind of suck. The deconstruction of Me. In ways this can be a beneficial experience as one always learns new things about themselves during these periods. But then again, I kind of feel like I've been stuffed back into a cocoon. There are random times throughout the day where I feel like I will literally scream if I even see the face of one of the 3 people I co-live with. I miss freedom. I miss drive. I miss being happy about waking up in the morning because I love the place I live so much. I hate hating on Indiana but I'm just not that into you.

It's become evident to me that I've developed some pretty intense ADD symptoms. I can't concentrate on what I'm reading...ever. I used to be able to zone out and lose myself in any book the moment I opened it and now in the middle of a sentence I find myself wondering what having a pet elephant would be like or how I could never live next door to someone with a pet monkey because I might get my face eaten off one day... I become overwhelmed with all that I have to get done so I lose myself in mundane, unnecessary tasks because I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown if I even look at the pile of necessaries in my life. Conclusion? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being 24 and unhappy. I used to be happy. It really wasn't that long ago either. Instead of being passive and waiting for the happiness to start again I'm going to be pro-active and start some serious reconstruction in my life. So...I know it's a few weeks early but if I keep saying tomorrow's only a day away it'll never get done. New Year's resolutions are rarely kept...especially by me. So, here's my Reconstruction Plan So As To Not Completely Fail At Life for 2010 (but starting today)...

Reconstruction Plan So As To Not Completely Fail At Life for 2010....
1. Staying the EFF off of Facebook and Twitter for extended periods. I've been reading articles about how social networking has been linked to CAUSING ADD in people because of the short attention span required and if you take that and multiply it by HOURS a day then you get a helluva a long time spent getting short spurts of meaningless information that require little to no attention or processing by your brain. I miss having my fingers glued to the binding of my books.

2.Books. Read them. I have 3 weeks til school starts again and when it does start I will be taking 4 English classes and 2 required electives. My brain needs to be in shape for that and I will not be able to start Spring semester with a creepy little ADD brain. I'm not sure which ones I'm going to start yet...(I have a tendency to buy books on whims, put them on my shelves because I like to see them there and sometimes it'll be years before I start them...)

3. Money. Save it. Pay it. I have a lot that needs to be paid back before I can leave this mental institution I've committed myself to in the suburbs. I also have a lot that needs to be saved before my release.

4. The Bible. Read it. I can't stomach the church my parents are currently attending and I still consider Reality LA to be my home church so I listen to the sermons from Tim as well as Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill) every week but I don't talk to God so much. Well...I do...but it's more of a bratty, "WHAT AM I DOING HERE!??!?! HELLO? ANYONE? NOPE? K..." I have a purpose and I know where it lies but none of that will come to fruition if I ignore it completely. Does that make sense?

5. Water. Drink it. I realize that I keep ending statements with the word "it" and that's grammatically correct but I'm not writing an essay here so I don't care. I just needed you to know that I know. Anyways...80 oz. Every day. That's what Jillian Michaels says and I was doing it for awhile and then life happened. Well, now it's going to BE part of my life so it won't be so much of a side note.

6. Working out. Yup. I was doing such a great job with it and was noticing such a huge change in my physique and then got sick and never went back. I don't care so much about losing weight because I'm at a healthy weight. I just want the squishiness to go away.

7. Food. Make sure it's amazing. I'm just finishing up Jillian Michaels' "Master Your Metabolism" and want to really see if my various minor ailments could be taken away by resetting my metabolism. From the results I briefly saw the first go around my answer is "YES!" and I want it to be a permanent change.

8. Pens. Use them. I have notebooks upon notebooks of ideas and plot lines and characters begging to be cultivated. I'm going to be realistic about this. I'm going to be doing SO many papers and reading next semester that I won't have time to do any kind of real creative work...but I can at least begin to compile things together.

9. Ingredients. Combine them. I'm going to be doing a lot more cooking. I honestly wish I'd foregone college and just attended a really good culinary school. Cooking de-stresses me in ways that nothing else does these days. I love experimenting with flavors and textures and making food that I think is exciting to eat. It's part of the artistic side of me that's been begging to be channeled but I can't draw to save my life so it's manifesting itself in olive oil, knives, pots, and pans. I also have to make some decisions in the future (like...now actually) about what to do as far as a paying job goes in my adulthood. "Food Critic" or "Food Writer" is not a title I would completely hate but would in fact, actually love.

10. Days. Plan them. I don't mean in a crazy kind of way. I've grown compulsive and impulsive to more than just a fault and a lot of that is due to the fact that it's very difficult for me to get things accomplished. I procrastinate. I rationalize stupid decisions I make. Bottom line: I've been back and forth about California since I left. For a while I thought that I wasn't supposed to go back. I was supposed to move forward and do other things with my life (at least that's what certain parental and adult figures in my life decided to verbally imply...). But you know what? I'm not gonna. I still get chills when I sit down in movie theatres. I still critique every single aspect of anything that I see on tv or film. I look at people working in the industry who have "made it" and I could do that. It's just a matter of being there and doing it. And I have. I've worked real jobs in the industry, in offices, on sets, both on and off the camera. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse with this (because I talk about it CONSTANTLY) but it's a serious war going on inside my head and there's only one common thread of what I've wanted to do with my life since I was 9 years old...the only other things in my life that have been that constant are my love of reading and God. That's it. I don't for sure what will happen (ever) but I do know that I want my life to move forward and in order for anything to move forward it must start and finish something so that it can move on to the next thing.

There we have it. :)

Golden Globe Nominations...and what I think of them...

2009-12-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

Hurray!!!! Film awards season has officially started!!!! The Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning and I just have something to ask the Hollywood Foreign Press: Did you even SEE the movies and actors you nominated this year??!?!!? I mean honestly Hollywood Foreign Press, did you bump your frickin' head?!

Ahem...here are your nominees...

Best Motion Picture, Drama
'Avatar'
'The Hurt Locker'
'Inglourious Basterds'
'Precious'
'Up in the Air'
-Ummmm....wwhhhyyy? Why is 'Inglourious Basterds' and 'AVATAR' on this list of BEST PICTURE?? Now, I loved 'Inglousious Basterds' but Best Picture!? C'mon. I keep staring at 'Avatar's name on that list and it must be a joke. Right? The idiotic James Cameron action movie with those blue and green computer people? THAT gets nominated over 'Brothers' or 'The Soloist' or 'Public Enemies'?!?! I'm really angry at foreign press people right now. I haven't seen 'Up in the Air' but I know it'll be my favorite over the rest of this douche-baggery. Oh...and 'The Hurt Locker.'

Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
'500 Days of Summer'
'The Hangover'
'It's Complicated'
'Julie & Julia'
'Nine'
-This one is slightly better although I have no idea what 'It's Complicated' is. I want '(500) Days of Summer' or 'Julie & Julia' to win.

Best Director in a Motion Picture
Kathryn Bigelow
'The Hurt Locker'

James Cameron
'Avatar'

Clint Eastwood
'Invictus'

Jason Reitman
'Up in the Air'

Quentin Tarantino
'Inglourious Basterds'
-Again, you get an undeserved nomination James Cameron. The guy who directed 'Brothers' should have been nominated.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
Jeff Bridges
'Crazy Heart'

George Clooney
'Up in the Air'

Colin Firth
'A Single Man'

Morgan Freeman
'Invictus'

Tobey Maguire
'Brothers'
-Ok, I don't totally disagree with this list. Even though I'm wary about Clooney because let's face it, all Clooney ever really plays is Clooney. I love him and will watch anything he's in but I need to know immediately why Robert Downey Jr. wasn't nominated for 'The Soloist'? The movie wasn't as well constructed as it could have been but Downey was AMAZING in it. It's one of the most subtle performances ever and he's fantastic. You suck, Hollywoood Foreign Press.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
Emily Blunt
'The Young Victoria'

Sandra Bullock
'The Blind Side'

Helen Mirren
'The Last Station'

Carey Mulligan
'An Education'

Gabourey Sidibe
'Precious'

-The only one of these movies I've seen is 'The Blind Side' and Sandra Bullock really is top notch. It's hands down the best, most real performance she's ever given. I'm really happy she's nominated. As for the rest of them...Sidibe was a shoe-in. I haven't seen 'Precious' but EVERYONE is talking about it. I really want to see 'Young Victoria' because I adore Emily Blunt and am so happy she gets nominated for something basically every year. But once again...'Brothers' is ignored. Natalie Portman deserved a nomination. Absolutely, she did. She was one of the best parts about that movie...aarrgghh!! Why is it being ignored?!?!?

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Matt Damon
'Invictus'

Woody Harrelson
'The Messenger'

Christopher Plummer
'The Last Station'

Stanley Tucci
'The Lovely Bones'

Christoph Waltz
'Inglourious Basterds'
-Dear Christoph Waltz, your nomination belongs to Jake Gyllenhaal. You were great in 'Inglourious Basterds' and a super awesome bad guy. But let's face it. It was kitsch. I'm just going to pretend Jake's nominated and you're not. Sorry, Laura.

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Penelope Cruz
'Nine'

Vera Farmiga
'Up in the Air'

Anna Kendrick
'Up in the Air'

Mo'Nique
'Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire'

Julianne Moore
'A Single Man'
-I haven't seen any of these movies but I have a really hard time believing the little chick from 'Twilight' got a nomination over Amy Adams in 'Julie & Julia' and Zooey Deschanel in '(500) Days of Summer.'

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy
Matt Damon
'The Informant!'

Daniel Day-Lewis
'Nine'

Robert Downey, Jr.
'Sherlock Holmes'

Joseph Gordon-Levitt
'(500) Days of Summer

Michael Stuhlbarg
'A Serious Man'
-How does Robert Downey Jr. snag an acting nomination for a Guy Richie film but not 'The Soloist'?!??!?!?! I'm really actually upset about this. I almost want to write those morons a letter. I'm looking forward to 'Sherlock Holmes' just as much as the next person...it's going to be a fun Christmas time movie to see with your family. Uuggghhaarrrggghhhh. At least they got Joseph Gordon-Levitt right. And Matt Damon for 'The Informant." Either of them will win, for sure.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy
Sandra Bullock
'The Proposal'

Marion Cotillard
'Nine'

Julia Roberts
'Duplicity'

Meryl Streep
'It's Complicated'

Meryl Streep
'Julie and Julia'
-Meryl Streep better win for 'Julie & Julia'. Her performance deserves a Best Actress Just in General nomination but I'll take what I can get at this point...

Best Television Series, Drama
'Big Love'
'Dexter'
'House'
'Mad Men'
'True Blood'
-I'm pulling for 'Dexter' this time. I would totally love 'Mad Men' to win too because let's face it...both of these shows have stellar casts, writing, and unlike every other show out there just keep getting better and better with each season. (But I really wanna see 'Dexter' win something FINALLY...but don't want 'Mad Men' to break their winning streak either! Gahh!)

Best Televison Series, Comedy or Musical
'30 Rock'
'Entourage'
'Glee'
'Modern Family'
'The Office'
-Do you know what makes me laugh? The fact that "The Office" is still somehow nominated in this category? This season has blown. Hard. It's okay, though. It won't win because '30 Rock' will! :) :)

Best Actor in a Television Series, Drama
Simon Baker
'The Mentalist'

Michael C. Hall
'Dexter'

Jon Hamm
'Mad Men'

Hugh Laurie
'House'

Bill Paxtion
'Big Love'
-Dear Hollywood Foreign Press, please oh please oh please give this award to Michael C. Hall. Thanks.

Best Actress in a Television Series, Drama
Julianna Murgulies
'The Good Wife'

Glenn Close
'Damages'

January Jones
'Mad Men'

Anna Paquin
'True Blood'

Kyra Sedgwick
'The Closer'
-WHY does January Jones CONTINUE to be nominated for things?!?!? She's NOT a good actress!!! This should go to Jennifer Carpenter from "Dexter." She's a fantastic actress and this past season she was seriously wonderful.

Best Actor in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
Alec Baldwin
'30 Rock'

Steve Carell
'The Office'

Thomas Jane
'Hung'

David Duchovny
'Californication'

Matthew Morrison
'Glee'
-Alec Baldwin, Alec Baldwin, Alec Baldwin

Best Actress in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
Toni Collette
'United States of Tara'

Courteney Cox
'Cougar Town'

Tina Fey
'30 Rock'

Edie Falco
'Nurse Jackie'

Lea Michele
'Glee'

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Neil Patrick Harris
'How I Met Your Mother'

Michael Emerson
'Lost'

Jeremy Piven
'Entourage'

William Hurt
'Damages'

John Lithgow
'Dexter'
-Alright, Michael Emerson, don't hate me. I adore you above all other bad guys but this award should go straight to the hands of John Lithgow. His performance in "Dexter" this season is one of the best EVER on television. Just..erase the other nominees and send the man his statue. If he doesn't win I'm calling Dexter to go put a hit on the Hollywood Foreign Press...all of them...

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Jane Adams
'Hung'

Rose Byrne
'Damages'

Jane Lynch
'Glee'

Janet McTeer
'Into the Storm'

Chloe Sevigny
'Big Love'
-Do you know what would make me full of glee?!?!?! If Jane Lynch won this award. :)

Thanksgiving. :)

2009-11-26T05:04:00.000-08:00

My house is never completely devoid of drama. Granted, I was free for but two weeks out of the year when I moved as far away as I could without using my passport (Los Angeles). Someone is always unhappy and so this year when the subject of holiday plans came up I decided to intervene. "Let's do a family Thanksgiving where we ALL cook. We will ALL choose the stuff we want to do and will then just work around each other." Everyone chose something...Abby's doing sweet potato stuff, Dad's doing all the vegetable stuff, Mom's in charge of desserts, and I was left to the turkey and wine.

I love a challenge in the kitchen and whenever I'm faced with anything to cook I'm at once intimidated and completely energized by the thought. I love the unknown of portions, seasonings, flavors, and the never ending possibilities that come with putting together recipes. It's so hard to believe that last year I was in my little studio apartment in the Hollywood Hills with Melissa having two friends over for a Thanksgiving meal that took ffforrreevveerr to make and then a music video taping session for our respective jobs at the time. Last year I made a turkey with lemon wedges, onions, parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme and named him Garfunkel. Since I'm having a The Graduate kind of year I've named this year's turkey: Benjamin Braddock. Is it weird that I love talking to my food as I cook?

Benjamin is going to be an epic win or an epic fail. I decided to do a brine this year so last night I filled an enormous stock pot with 4 cups of water. 1 cup of salt. 1 cup of brown sugar. An orange cut into wedges. 2 lemons cut into wedges. Parsley. Sage. Rosemary. Thyme. I lowered Benjamin in the pot, filled his cavity with brine, covered, and left it over night in the refrigerator. This morning at the deathly hour of 5:45am I awoke. Rinsed Benjamin and promptly stuffed him with more parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. I chopped some carrots, celery, onion, and lemons and stuck those inside as well. I then made some sage butter (just melt some butter and put bits of sage in it...aaammaaazziinngg.)I rubbed the chunks of sage butter ALL over the giant thing and stuffed it under the skin and the wings and legs. I then cut up another orange and squeezed it all over the skin and rubbed it down again before putting the leftovers in the cavity as well. I put Benjamin in a turkey roasting bag, put the oven on 325 degrees, and he is now cooking for the next 4 1/2 hours.

I'm so very excited about eating today.

Movie Review: Twilight: New Moon

2009-11-21T14:21:00.000-08:00

MMmmmmm...dinnneerrr.....

It's my first Saturday off in a long, long time & now that we are in the midst of Oscar season I saw that the critically acclaimed & sure-to-be Oscar contender "Precious" was released in theaters. My sister, however, had been bugging me about how much she wanted to see "New Moon" again after having seen the midnight showing Thursday along with millions upon millions of other teenage girls around the world. Everyone kept telling me how good "New Moon" was & how you can't compare it to the first movie disaster (that was just as disastrous as Stephenie Meyer's writing in my arrogant opinion...). As I started looking at reviews & synopses of "Precious" I realized that I could choose to see angsty werewolves, vampires, & teenage humans being all angsty at each other in the rain dealing with their terrible life circumstances...you know, the Volturi are mean & Bella's sad & screams a lot & her boyfriend sparkles in the sun & Jacob got a tattoo & 30 lbs of muscle...OR...I could see angsty African Americans getting all angry & mean in Harlem because their Dad raped them & now they have a downs syndrome baby & are pregnant with another baby & now they can go get their GED with Mariah Carey even though they're morbidly obese & I'm sorry. I know I'm a terrible person...but in the end, the 30 lbs of muscle won & I found myself off to see "New Moon."

I have to say that I didn't entirely hate this movie. The part in the beginning when they did the featurette on "Sherlock Holmes" (coming out on Christmas Day!!) kind of made my life complete. Because if Jude Law & Robert Downey Jr. running around London solving crimes while smoking pipes & opiates can't make a gal happy then I just don't know what can.

In all seriousness though, I knew that "New Moon" was going to be delightful when in the very FIRST shot...before Bella, slow-mo Edward, & lots & lots of rain there was a shot of GASP: a new moon. That's one thing that's brilliant about these movies. I love how the director assumes the audience is composed of complete morons.
:::allow time for ironic pause:::
"New Moon" has some subtlety issues. When Bella gets a paper cut YOU KNOW. How? Because there's a sudden close up of her FINGER bleeding as she says,"OW. PAPE. R. CUT." (Just in case you didn't put two & two together.) But then again, I guess this goes along with one of the running themes of Edward & Bella's relationship. Bella is an incompetent idiot & Edward is a scary boyfriend who always looks like he's on the verge of tears. Why can't he be more like Jacob who just punches a bitch when they get out of line? (More on him later...)After Edward leaves Bella he keeps apparating (Please forgive my usage of Harry Potterisms in a Twilight post...) in front of her to tell her what to do in situations of crisis. For example...she's out late at night with a friend & sees a band of scary motorcycle cronies who are cat-calling at her & who tried to be naughty with her in the last movie. She knows these men. Knows they are bad. But, being deer-in-the-headlights Bella, she walks down the dark alley towards them anyway...until Edward appears & tells her not to. "They're bad." Really, Edward? Thanks, because she probably would have never figured that out on her own. Why are hot guys always dating idiots?

I honestly don't understand the directors of these movies. They have no control over their actors as evidenced by the fact that every single line coming out of ALL of their mouths sounds like their first table reading. What's sad is that a lot of these people are actually GOOD actors. Kristen Stewart is not terrible. Robert Pattinson is super exciting to watch in everything but Twilight. Taylor Lautner is absolutely precious. Elizabeth Reaser just makes me smile. But the writing, oh, the writing, the directing, the...raawwrrr. It's just bad, bad, bad.

Edward:
The kitschy slow motion shots of Edward EVERY time we see him enter a room made my skin crawl. He's a vampire not a Victoria's Secret Angel. Whenever Edward talks to Bella all he can say are things like,"Your breath is my breath & if you're not breathing I'm not breathing even though I don't really breathe anyway because I'm a...:::GULP::: you know..." She's like,"Hey, don't leave because I'll be sad.." & he's all, "But you're my world & my reason to live if living is actually what I'm doing...which it's not ...because I'm dead but not really dead unless I tell the Volturi that I want to die which I will..." Edward sucks. He's hot to look at...kind of. I, for one, do not find pale glittery men attractive as I, myself, am not a 45 year old male transvestite or David Bowie. He's kind of a controlling asshole actually. I want to punch him & tell him to send some blood down to his balls the next time he's eating someone whenever he furrows his brow & begins to cry.

Bella:
Kristen Stewart could be SO effortlessly pretty if she would just WASH HER HAIR & then blow dry it. That's really all it would take. Aside from being boring, sickeningly co-dependent, super self-destructive, & the perfect model of what I never, ever would want any teenage girl to turn out to be she's kind of cool when Jacob is around. But then when Jacob's not around she's a whiny turd. "Wwwaaaahhhhh, I promised Edward I wouldn't do anything reckless so let me jump off this 300 foot cliff into the Pacific in the middle of winter."

Jacob: The saving grace of this movie. Taylor Lautner is adorable. When he took off his shirt in that cliched "let me take off my shirt now" scene when Bella fell off the motorcycle I was SO taken aback that I audibly said,"DAYY-UUMMM!!!!!" in the theatre. Yes. He looks that good. In fact, in the scene in the rain when he first knows he's a werewolf I was totally buying it. Normally I would sneer at such an obvious "let's make the tweeeennsss swoon" device but this time...no. My reaction was sheer carnal reverence at that boy's torso. Well done, Taylor Swift. Well done. I am reminded of a certain gesture my friend Emory used to make whenever she would see Patrick Wilson on the horse in "Phantom of the Opera." But abs aside. I actually LIKED Bella when she was around Jacob. She was funny. She was cute. She acted like a HAPPY girl. He was funny. He was cute. He was freaking hot.

The fact that Bella leaves Jacob & then decides to marry Pixie Pale Face (my Native American name given to him by me & Jacob's tribe) makes me hate her even more. Jacob was actually a decent guy. Jacob never pussied about, whining in Italy. When he got mad he got HOT (temperature AND looks wise) & killed stuff!! Mmmmmm, Jacob. We all get our piece of cheap eye candy. And judging by my mentally chastising Bella for not raking her fingernails up & down his back & chest every time she saw him I've decided he must be mine.

I will not speak of Dakota Fanning because I can't stand her. Her pretense is so annoying...I loved that in her two whole scenes of the movie she treated it like she was working towards an Oscar nod. Go away, Fanning. I don't care if you're homecoming queen you'll never be as awesome or heart wrenching as Abigail Breslin or Saoirse Ronan.

Robert Pattinson, I hope we meet again in other, better movies that I know you're capable of.

Vampire Who's Not Peter Facinelli or Kellan Lutz: Your hair looks ridiculous.

All in all, I didn't hate it AS MUCH as I hated the first one. But I still say that Twilight is not the new Harry Potter series...more like the new Evil Dead series.

So...let the arguments begin!!

Fondly Yours, & If I Have To Pick A Team I'm Team Jacob,

Laura

In conclusion, I didn't hate this movie AS MUCH as I hated the first movie. But as far as well-constructed movies go it simply blew. That's not my opinion. It's just hard facts, my friends.

"The Office" blahg. Or "blergh" I should say...Pam & Jim's wedding episode...

2009-10-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

Sooo...I can't resist. I had to post some kind of something on the episode of The Office that aired last night.

The good things about the episode were that it didn't bore me at all. I was actually thoroughly entertained through the entire thing & that hasn't happened once this season. It was typical of an hour long "special" episode of The Office. The hilarious & bizarre tend to happen. It's awkward & jubilant at the end with some genius moments intertwined.

I'll start with the good & tear it apart at the end, how's that?

What I Loved:
-Pam & Jim's mental picture taking. It's adorable. I couldn't help myself but smile.
-Angela stiffly walking up the aisle while everyone was dancing up it.
-I loved Jim & Pam running off & getting married on the ferry. I thought the shots layered in with them arriving at the church & dancing was wonderful & really touching..(aside from the dancing..that I loathed. but more on that in a minute.)
-For some reasons I love when Dwight behaves like a complete jerk more than I love his weird moments. The weird moments have grown old & predictable on me...but when he hooked up with the bridesmaid it just made my life worth living.
-Michael was very funny & I loved his interaction with Pam's memaw.
-Jim cutting his tie was precious.
-Kevin.
-I saw glimpses of cute & awesome Pam in this episode & I miss her a lot.
-There were many other little moments that were gems & I wish they'd put them in other episodes so that I'd actually pay attention to Thursday nights in Scranton.

What I Didn't Love:
I'm not going to go through it bullet by bullet. I'll just spout off for a minute. I've said it before & I'll say it again...it's gone. The show has jumped the shark.

1. Pam. What the hell? I don't care if you're pregnant. Who stands up in front of an entire office & demand that people change their daily habits so that you don't puke? Maybe I'm wrong...has anyone actually ever had the audacity to do that? I can see maybe requesting a change from someone you share a desk with but EVERYONE? And Jim? What the hell were you doing standing next to her? You're a co-manager now. At work you're the manager you're not her boyfriend. Totally unrealistic & really, really annoying. If I were working there that's absolutely something I'd file a complaint about.It's enough that they're still even allowed to work in the same office (something else that would be SO unlikely..). I just don't like Pam's little pickiness & uptightness all the time. I miss Jim's friend Pam.

2. WHY would Andy EVER be allowed to sleep in Pam & Jim's room? I don't care if he already had reservations & a torn scrotum. He's a CO-WORKER who they're not even really friends with. What about-to-be married couple would EVER let that happen? EVER. Seriously, people.

3. The dancing in the end. Now. Office writers...I won't take this back. That was cheap. It was lazy. Yeah,everyone's seen that dancing video on youtube & yeah, it's really cute (the VIDEO. not what you put in the episode.) But taking a piece of super recent pop culture & slipping it in there was just fricking lazy. And the way you did it? I would like you to tell me WHY Dunder-Mifflin employees were dancing up the aisle? Don't tell me that they're just a bunch of happy go lucky workers who are so silly & they would just do that kind of thing...because no. They wouldn't. It's clearly a serious wedding in a church. Phyllis & Bob have WAY too much class to crash a wedding procession like that. Stanley would have NEVER. Even Kelly wouldn't have done that. Why the hell was Dwight dancing up there with the bridesmaid?! THESE. ARE. YOUR. CO-WORKERS. They are not your friends. They are not your family. WHAT CO-WORKERS WHO SHOWED UP FOR SOMEONE'S WEDDING EVER DO THAT!? The Office has clearly turned into a show that looks like a helluva a lot of fun to make for the people involved & not so much fun for the viewers to watch when the characters go completely off point & it turns into a "Look what a fun show we are!! We're all friends in real life!! Let's have a dance party!!"

While it was the best episode of the season & one of the best of last season's episodes as well, that's really not saying much.

When is 30 Rock coming back on?

Lime Seared Tuna & Baby Bella Spinach Salad

2009-09-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

I've been whining about starting therapy & not only is there no time for it right now but I just don't have the money. I was at Barnes & Noble this past week & picked up a copy of Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way" as well as Jillian Michaels' "Making the Cut." I wanted to start both at once & see where my life goes & how I've changed in the next several weeks. I've been wanting to do Julia Cameron's book for years now but just never got around to it. But now that I'm not in LA anymore & am stuck doing ridiculous classes for college my creativity is at an all-time low. I've also found myself seriously considering just..not being creative. Settling & just doing the "smart" thing & just consciously denying the inherent desire to create & be a part of story telling & expression. So along with my new diet, workout sessions (every day..and they're amazing..), I am also doing Artist's Dates every week. An Artist's Date is just a time alone to be creative & express something that's all yours. No matter who's told you, you couldn't in the past. My money & time is limited so this afternoon at the grocery store I decided to turn my lunch into my Date. I've missed cooking SO much. I did it constantly in Los Angeles but now I just don't have the time & my Dad is the chef in the family so I pretty much eat what he makes. Today, however, fresh tuna steaks were calling my name in the seafood section so I decided to pamper myself a bit. I had never made fresh tuna before. And y'all...it was amazing. I seriously out-did myself. I'm trying not to sound arrogant about it but I seriously just created something SO delicious today. I think it's because my head & heart were clear, it was a beautiful day, & this morning I spotted some serious muscle toneage going on in my arms when I was brushing my hair.

I grabbed 8oz. of fresh tuna steak. I smelled it like they do on Top Chef. I had no idea what to look for. BUT. It smelled like nothing. So I took that as a good sign. I also bought some greens & baby portabella mushrooms, a lime, & scurried home to cook. Here is the recipe for my creation:

Lime Seared Tuna & Baby Bella Spinach Salad
***i'm doing this for a single serving, since i only made it for myself, so adjust accordingly!!! :)

Ingredients:
-FRESH tuna steak (adjust according to how many people you're serving. normally it's 4 oz. a person)
-1 cup organic baby spinach
-1/2 cup mixed spring greens (make sure there's arugula in there!)
-1 lime
-1 clove of garlic
-4 baby portabella mushrooms
-salt
-coarse, black, ground pepper
-1/2 teaspoon of thyme
-1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
-1 teaspoon of olive oil
-more olive oil

Now, before I go on, the order in which you cook the tuna & the mushrooms depend on how "done" you want the tuna. Normally, seared tuna is just grilled on both sides for about 1 minute each then leaving it raw in the middle. I'm paranoid about poisoning with fish so unless I'm eating professionally prepared sushi I don't go the raw fish route.

1. Grate lime until you have about 1 1/2 teaspoons of zest in a small bowl. Add thyme, salt, & pepper. Stir until you have a nice little mixture.
2. Heat pan on stove over high heat. Meanwhile, rub olive oil all over the tuna. Put a small amount of olive oil in the pan & then place the tuna in the pan. The great thing about tuna is that you can actually see how much is being cooked. Cook it 2/5 of the way through on one side. Flip it. Cook 2/5 of the way on the other side leaving the middle pink. It's VERY important that you not over cook or FULLY cook the fish as it'll dry out & taste like Memnoch.
3. Put 1 tablespoon of olive oil into another pan along with 1 crushed clove of garlic. Heat. Take 4 baby bella mushrooms & break apart into smaller chunks. Add them to the pan & let cook on medium high heat while the tuna is finishing.
4. Assemble the plate. Place spinach on bottom. Leafy greens on top. Then take out the finished tuna & place on top of bed of greens. When the mushrooms are done pour ALLL of the juicy contents over the tuna & onto the salad.
5. Eat.
6. Be astonished.
7. 390 calories. I ate it 5 hours ago & am still full. :)

Cinnamon Cream of Wheat with Apples & Bacon

2009-09-17T09:44:00.001-07:00

I've become a little obsessed with everything Jillian Michaels as of late. I got her book "Making the Cut" this week & LOVE it. It's a 30-day fitness plan (you're supposed to turn it into a lifestyle after...) for people who either want to tone up & get fit or who want to only lose UNDER 20 lbs. Anyywwayyss, there's a meal plan according to your body type, metabolism, blahdee-blah & so my eating habits have changed significantly. I usually skip food in the morning, down at least 3 cups of coffee, & then eat around 1 or 2pm. I work 'til 8pm so I don't eat dinner until around 8:30 or 9pm. But NOW I eat first thing in the morning & then every 4 hours after that until dinner. I also drink 80 oz. of water a day. I do a super Jillian Michaels work out every day as well. TODAY, however, got the best of me. I woke up late & didn't get breakfast. I forfeited the caffeine, drank a ton of water, & went to class. I got home around 11:30am & needed something that would be awesome. I decided on cream of wheat & then went a little hog-wild.

Ok: Cinnamon Cream of Wheat with Turkey Bacon & Apples

Ingredients:
-2 slices of turkey bacon (50 calories)
-1 red delicious apple (179 calories)
-3 tablespoons of cream of wheat (120 calories)
-2 tablespoons of cinnamon
-salt (to taste)

Directions:
-For one serving put 3 tablespoons of cream of wheat in 1 1/4 of water. Microwave for 2 minutes. Stir. Put in for 2 more minutes, stirring every 30 seconds. Meanwhile, put the bacon in the pan & cook on low. Take the cream of wheat out of the microwave & let it sit & thicken. When the bacon is done take it out of the pan & put it on napkins. Turn the stove up to medium-high, leaving the bacon grease in the pan. Take the apple & chop it into chunks & drop in the pan. Let them cook for 3 minutes. (I like mine really crunchy still...so cook til soft if you want). While the apples are cooking tear up the bacon into pieces & drop into the bowl of cream of wheat. When the apples are done drop them (NOT the grease!!) into the cream of wheat as well. Mix it all up!! It's hot. Freaking yummy. Super filling. Super healthy. And I plan on eating it pretty much every morning this winter.

It's ONLY 297 calories!!

"I wish I could go back to college..."-Avenue Q

2009-08-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

Well. Guess what? I did.

Two years ago I flunked out of the College of Charleston due to complete lack of interest & inspiration. I spent some time in the "real world" & upon returning to Indiana to live with my parents after all my money ran out I decided to finish my degree. Freshman year I was at Ball State University. Then Indiana University-Purdue University at Indianapolis (commonly called IUPUI). Then the College of Charleston. Now I'm back at IUPUI. I am 24 years old & older than the majority of my classmates. You know something? I LOVE it.

Today was my first day back to class. My Children's Literature course was delightful. Truly, it's the only word to describe my professor & all of the contents involved. De. Light. Ful. Delicious. Delovely. We're reading various original Grimm's Fairy Tales, a study of J. M. Barrie (someone shoot me now because I can totally die happy), various other children's stories from the 18th & 19th centuries, & are ending with (ironically) Lemony Snicket's "A Bad Beginning." My professor is straight out of a novel himself. He's a tall, gangly, shapeless man with an enormous nose & Harry Potter spectacles. He always has the kindest most amused smile on his face & I believe he is the living incarnation of Ichabod Crane.

The past few years of my schooling I've become despondent with boredom because I wanted SO much to be out in the world. Academics seemed pointless. But today I walked into class positively vibrating with anticipation. I kept glancing at the door wondering WHY the professor wasn't 10 minutes early like I was. He arrived & the discussions began. I'm in the Midwest so there's a lovely kaleidoscope of super closed minded people who have never been anywhere or done anything & so their ideas of gender definition are something out of 1952...& just in general piss me off. There are others who are totally quiet for the class because for them it's just another requirement fulfilled for their degree. Then there are the ones who are still in their "I'm in college & must branch out & touch the soul of the world with my skinned fingertips!!!" phase. The ones who rename themselves "Montana" because their birth name just wasn't stupid enough to suit how pretentious they are now. (Yes, she's in my class.) These are the ones who blindly blame everything on "technology" even though they have little argument to back it up with...they just like sounding like they could be smart. Then there are the ones like me...the word nerds...the complete literary geeks who THRIVE on class discussion & love classes like these simply because it's a medium where we can voice our opinion without coming across as arrogant: We're simply embracing class participation. ;)

I walked onto campus today & for the first time did not dread being 24. I looked at all the post-high schoolers & mid-collegiates around me & realized...they've never been in the real world. They have no idea what it's like to pay rent or be late on bills. They don't know how to cook for themselves or argue with landlords. They don't know what a 9-5 job is like or a full time job in the crazy world of retail...where you could be at work as early as 6am or as late as 1am. I walked onto campus more fully aware of who I am then I have been in a long time.

Basically the conclusion I arrived at was this...we do it backwards. I honestly believe that after high school kids should be fully pushed out of the nest & forced to travel the world, explore, & do it on their own. Get a JOB & see how real life feels. Then when you've done that, learned about how things will be out there, THEN go to college. College does NOT prepare you for the real world. But the real world makes college something more than a useless degree.

So, you're moving to Los Angeles...

2009-08-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine is moving to Los Angeles in a week. Pursuing the dream. No job. Ah, it was almost 2 years ago exactly at this time that I embarked on the same journey. While I've had a bit of a detour I will never forget the call of adventure & passion. There are some things in life that you simply MUST do. Yes, I'm back in the Midwest for the time being because things didn't work out so well financially in the City of Angels. Yes, I look back all the time & think about all of the things I would have done differently if only I'd known how life would be out there. Secretly, of course, I wouldn't go back & change a damn thing because those first few months there were the most difficult of my life & also the most exciting & rewarding EVER. I wouldn't change a thing. With that said, I've decided to write a kind of advice blog for people moving to Los Angeles. I suppose this could be relevant to anyone moving anywhere...So. Here it goes.

So many questions are asked when you're moving anywhere. WHERE will I live? WHAT will I be doing for a job? HOW am I supposed to be able to afford to eat until I find said job? WHY the hell did I move out here?

WHERE you're living in Los Angeles is seriously crucial. The Valley? Which part? Burbank, Glendale, Pasadena? Or Sherman Oaks, Encino, Van Nuys, Studio City? If you want to live further away from pretty much everything then go for the back of the Valley. It's cheaper. But also super suburban so if you're looking for the big city experience don't live there. The front portion of the Valley (Sherman Oaks, Encino, Studio City, Van Nuys) is pretty central to everything & also affordable & SAFE. I lived in Sherman Oaks for my first year there right off Ventura Blvd. & really enjoyed it. You'll hear the term "over the hill" all the time out there. No, that doesn't refer to being over the age of 40. It refers to the line of hills that separate the San Fernando Valley from Hollywood. I moved over the hill the second year I was in LA & lived in an older portion of the Hollywood Hills. I LOVED this place. It fit my personality. It was a 10 minute walk to everything (& you can't walk ANYWHERE in LA) & even though it was a teeny tiny studio apartment it was totally adorable & conducive to my living needs at the time. My first advice to anybody going out there is to play it safe & move to the Valley. Seriously. The last thing you want to do is break your bank on rent you won't be able to afford in 3 months. And believe me. It'll happen. Which leads me to my next point...

HOW expensive is it? No matter what anybody tells you, LA is about 5 more times expensive than that. I moved to LA with $3,000. In the first week I was there $1400 was spent on a deposit & first month's rent for an apartment (that's WITH a roommate, mind you.) I bought an used car & then bit by bit I bought food & necessary things for existing in an apartment. Like a bed. And a refrigerator. Needless to say, that by the time the second month's rent was due I had NO MONEY left & had to borrow it from my parents. I had been searching feverishly for a job the entire time & finally got one a few weeks after rent was paid. You need to be making about $500 a week in order to make it there & live relatively comfortably.

The car situation. The tales do not lie. You HAVE to have one. There are people who will literally not hire you if you don't have a car & if you're working in Hollywood it is an every day MUST. There are deadlines to be met, groceries to be bought, & nobody is going to want to wait on your bus pass to get you anywhere. Always remember that there are thousands of more qualified people out there looking for the same work you are. So be accommodating & buy a damn car. My recommendation will be to do what I did. After my piece of crap Kia died 2 months after buying it I went to Star Ford in Glendale. They were WONDERFUL (see Seth Cantu) & hooked me up with a 2005 Ford Focus for only $200 a month. I know that sounds like a lot. But when your nasty 15 year old car breaks down & you have no extra money to fix it you'll be BEGGING someone to give you a monthly payment so that you can have a reliable car. Los Angeles is not a place you can just call a friend to come rescue you off the side of the road. At any given moment you could be 2 hours away from where you live.

Save your money. Save. Save. Save. I cannot emphasize this enough. By all means, enjoy life, but the unexpected does happen & don't try to tell me that you simply HAD to have that specific shade of Mac eyeshadow on Saturday. Don't even try. That $15 just might be the difference between you EATING or not one day. I'm not even kidding a little bit. You also never know when you'll lose your job. Working in Hollywood is rarely a 9-5 experience. Most days you'll be an independent contractor so taxes won't even be taken out. If you're working retail be prepared to work ANOTHER retail job as well to make ends meet. Looking for a job? Craigs list. If you can get your hands on the UTA Job List (an insider's list of jobs IN the industry) go that route as well. Spend hours & hours every single day hitting the pavement & asking for work. When you're at home send your resume to EVERYTHING you can. Send your resumes out until you want to cry. The first month I was in LA I sent out over a 1,000 resumes. I got 4 job interviews. And finally: 1 job.

Where To Shop:
1. Trader Joe's will be your best friend.
2.Ralph's (another cheap grocery store.)
3.Gelson's & Pavilions are also options but are super expensive. There's always Whole Foods too.
4. Target. For all your home decorating needs. Ikea too, but depending on where you live it can be quite a hike.
5. Buffalo Exchange: Clothes shopping. A high end consignment store that I basically LIVED at whenever I could actually afford an article of clothing.

Things You Must Do:
-Make a Moving to LA playlist (I'll give you songs at the bottom that you must put on it along with your own choices)
-Travel. Los Angeles is a SPRAWLING city & each portion of it is different from the next. YOu have to go to Manhattan Beach, Malibu, the Getty, the Hills, the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Venice Beach...the options are ENDLESS. Don't waste your time there by only staying where you live all the time. You'll never emotionally survive LA unless you see all the beauty it has to offer.
-Don't just drink Starbucks. While they CLAIM to have the world's best coffee, they're liars. Why even go into a Starbucks when you have The Coffee Bean, Peet's Coffee, & Intelligentsia at your fingertips?!?! They're everywhere so try those places the next time you need a kick ass caffeinated beverage.
-Arclight Theatres...yeah, they're expensive, but they're GLORIOUS. There's a location in Sherman Oaks in the Galleria & then also on Sunset & Vine in Hollywood. You will never forget this movie going experience.

Places to Eat:
-The Griddle Cafe
-The Marmalade Cafe
-Canter's Deli
-Aroma
-In & Out (I don't care if you don't like fast food. This place will change your life)
-Pinkberry
-Jamba Juice
-Truly Vegan

By the time you realize that all of what I'm saying is true you've probably run out of money that you're allowed to spend.

Free Stuff to Do:
When the going gets tough I FORBID you to sit on your ass doing absolutely nothing.
-Beachwood Canyon. Hollywood. Take the 101 to the Vine exit. Get on Franklin & take a LEFT on Beachwood Dr. Drive to the very end. Park your car & go on a hike through the Hollywood Hills up near the Hollywood sign. You might get lost (I did once) & beware of mountain lions (seriously.) but it's the most invigorating walk. It'll take you all the way to the top & you can see all the way to Malibu on a clear day & also the downtown, LA skyline.
-The Beach. Santa Monica & Venice Beach are the closest ones. Santa Monica is beautiful & Venice has fabulous food & a really chill hippie vibe that you won't get elsewhere.
-Take a walk up Hollywood Blvd. & just WATCH the people. It's fascinating. And terrifying. Don't go by yourself if you can help it. While you're there run up to the Kodak Theatre & give yourself a massive pep talk & remember WHY you're there. (The Kodak Theatre is where the Oscars are held...if you didn't know that then I'm wondering why you're even moving to LA at all. Kidding.)
-Keep a journal. Start a blog. One of the most fun things I used to do was blog about how poor & hot I was...because there was no A/C & I had no money. It was a blast.
-Teach yourself to cook. Buying food is not all that expensive & teaching yourself to cook & making elaborate & fabulous meals was in my Top 3 favorite things to do while I was there. I cooked ALL THE TIME & had so much fun doing it. And hey. Now I know how to cook. And happen to be pretty damn good at it.

There are so many other things I could write about. And I will probably write a second part to this blog...but really...just ask questions & I'll answer them. There's honestly SO much I could say about living in LA but that would take up a book.

Songs to put on your California play list:
-Long Walk Back-Just Off Turner
-California-Phantom Planet
-Myriad Harbor-The New Pornographers
-California-Joni Mitchell
-West Coast-Coconut Records
-You Make My Dreams-Hall & Oates
-California Love-Tupac
-California Bound-Carolina Liar
-Beverly Hills-Weezer
-Party In the U.S.A.-Miley Cyrus

L.A. Fitness...& by LA...I mean Laura Ann.

2009-08-15T10:19:00.000-07:00

I am 24 years old, weigh 112 lbs, & am severely out of shape. I am very, very happy to know that I'm genetically a small framed person because if I was NOT I would seriously be a blimp. I'm an impulsive eater, obsessive with foods I come to love, & have recently come to the conclusion that I'm just going to get in shape. I've been on a health kick (food wise) for almost 2 years now (thanks, Skinny Bitches) & am really going to kick it in gear by adding a workout regimen to it. This just makes my heart sad.

Working out is the most boring activity for me aside from browsing at the mall. If anyone asks me to go to the mall with them I'll pretty go much hide under the bed & hope against hope they assume the Rapture has happened & will stop looking for me.

I'm blogging about it because if I don't then I'll forget that I made this resolution later this afternoon.

Working Outage:
-ran a mile
-a whole bunch of crunches, squats, & lunges

I'm doing the Master Cleanse with a couple of friends from work starting on Tuesday. I'm super excited about doing this again actually.

Also, something I've been doing is 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar in water every day. Yeah, it's pretty gross (i sweeten mine with honey) but it's SO good for you it's not even funny. I'm pretty convinced that apple cider vinegar is just bottled God sweat. It cleans out your blood, makes your stomach happy, clears your skin & pretty much helps every organ in your body function better. I'm a huge fan of the stuff & have been taking it daily for the past couple of months.

I've never been a super vain person but feel like this is the only physical body that I have & I want to take care of it.

"None of those kids will obey me!"

2009-08-10T22:19:00.001-07:00

The other day my mother told me a story from when I was about 6 years old. She was picking me up from school (I was in the 1st grade) & asked me how my day went. I looked at her & said,"Mom! I'm SO mad! None of those kids will obey me!!" I seriously can't stop laughing every time I think about it. I have no recollection of ever having said that but it's SUCH a Me thing to say.

Needless to say, I've been in a state of utter complacency since leaving Los Angeles in May. In the past few days I've come to a point where I am seeing nasty, bad parts of myself being cut off..or..turned into muscle, as it were. I don't mean physically, but definitely mentally & spiritually. One of my previous bosses told me that while I'm talented I have to get over my "handicap" to really be successful in life. It's only been recently that I've seen exactly what he was talking about. I'm such a huge fan of Options that I never make any decisions. I see everything as permanent & life changing. Well, finally, after months of doing NOTHING with myself (mentally or physically) I've come to a very exciting point. I found out that I am eligible for over $5000 in a grant for me to finish school!!!!! My impoverishment finally paid off!!!!! :) :) :) I'm not so concerned about having a degree but I know that the re-stimulation to my brain from being in class & being forced to write papers & analyze will do me an universe of good.

But I've never been one to hide behind or find purpose in schooling. So. I need a theme. I need something to keep me going until I hopefully move back to California & continue the California part of this blog. I saw the movie "Julie & Julia" today & was totally blown away. I sometimes feel like I'm used to Meryl Streep...& then she cranks out a performance like this & I just fall completely smitten to her genius. She's absolutely the greatest actress who's ever lived. No competition. She simply is. The other side of the movie though...the not-Julia Child side....is that of Julie Powell's. Julie Powell is played by the super adorable Amy Adams. I identified with this girl in so many ways it was scary. I totally know what the attraction to the blogosphere is all about & how therapeutic it is to keep complete strangers somehow invested in you, your opinions, & your life. But so much of her....her feelings of failure in life, her love of all things cooking & eating, & then of course, her blog...all I can say is that I wish I'd had the idea to blog about all 524 of Julia Child's recipes from "Mastering the Art of French Cooking."

So, where does that leave me? I have no theme. I used to have "The Office." Then I had "Adventures in California." Now I have the "Misadventures of a Misguided, Misused, & Misread 20something in America". I don't know what to write about every day. So...readers...however few of you are left...what next?

...and suddenly my problems just got a little bit smaller...

2009-08-04T14:53:00.000-07:00

After 4 months of serious prayer from around the world & a 12 year sentence to a concentration camp Laura Ling & Euna Lee have been pardoned & are returning to the US!!!!! SO grateful to God & thankful for Bill Clinton right now. No matter what your view of politics are you should be THANKFUL for at least 5 minutes that you live in America & can pull out a Bible, speak out against your government, & can report on anything you want. Stop complaining & just be thankful that you are where you are.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/05/world/asia/05korea.html

"I give myself very good advice..."-Alice In Wonderland

2009-07-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

"I give myself very good advice, but very seldom follow it..."-Disney's Alice In Wonderland...

Since I've been back in my parents' house I've been able to vicariously live through my sister's exit from high school & entrance into college. I tell myself that I would so love to go back to those days but at the same time not. It's a weird, unsuspecting feeling to feel like you have the entire world at your fingertips. People should WARN high school graduates about how the real world is going to be. I'm not saying in a pessimistic way...but my goodness, if someone had only TOLD me about the cost of living, that an English degree could only go so far..if someone had TOLD me to take a couple of years off...travel, explore my environment, I not only would have made different academic decisions but I would have had a clearer path to take to get to the goals inside my dreams. I'm so angry at our society for not taking better care of my generation in that respect. I've tried to talk to the sister a bit about it but since she comes from the same society that I do she's going to learn the hard way or not at all.

So, 6 years after I graduated from high school, attended 3 colleges over the course of 4 years, & have had 5 different addresses I am back at square 1. Back in my parents' house. Going back to college to finish this damn degree once & for all. I should feel like I could go anywhere & do anything but after seeing what the world is like I don't possess the blind optimism I had when I was 18. 6 years later & I'm more ambitious & determined than ever. My curiosity has been deterred slightly because I'm so scared of making more mistakes...what sucks is that mistakes are inevitable. It's the human condition. For example...I have 3 bank accounts that have been written off, I owe money to everything. What do I do? Sometimes I feel like I'm just going to be in this debt for the rest of my life but something tells me that it's ok..I'm still young & things can still be fixed. But then there's that haunting idea that I turn 30 in 6 years & you're not allowed to make mistakes after you're 30. I am the queen of putting the past behind you & moving on. I'm not someone who dwells & wallows so I don't understand why I feel so utterly hopeless in this area.

(Side note...while I adore Phillip Glass & Thomas Newman WHY oh WHY does every single bit of music they write sound like all of their other music? While it is beautiful it is so unoriginal. I'm listening to The Watchmen soundtrack & it could be replaced with The Hours score & no one would be able to tell the difference. The same goes for Thomas Newman with American Beauty, Revolutionary Road, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events & Road to Perdition. Identical!!)

I want to talk to grownups about where I am in life & want them to tell me I have years to figure it out. I miss those days. I felt like I had so much time...but then again I also thought I had everything figured out. Then when I was SUPPOSED to have everything figured out was when everything was shot to hell. I was impulsive & ambitious & failed miserably at it. What next? What are you supposed to do when time has caught up with you, points a finger, & says,"OK. Your turn. What are you going to do with yourself?" I'm so jealous of people my age who are able to make decisions: THIS is when I settle down. I WILL get married to THIS person. We WILL have children in 23 months. He WILL work at this office. I WILL do whatever doesn't conflict with his schedule. THIS is the direction I'm going.

I've spent obscene amounts of money on college & have nothing to show for it. What I do have to show probably won't transfer properly & my GPA is...horrific. I just hate school. I hate jobs. I hate anything that I don't see the point in & I can't just force myself to be motivated. I have to go back to school. I can't not finish my degree. I don't want to & am basically starting off at square 1 with a few electives & some core classes to jump off. For the first time in God knows how many years I'm at that place where I feel like I just don't fit in. Like I wasn't made for the way the world requires us to be to have success.

Ugh. Seriously. What do I do?

Coast to Coast in 5 Days...

2009-06-16T10:52:00.001-07:00

Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Listening To: Every bit of classical music I can find in my iTunes..why? It's raining..it's windy..it's the middle of June & it's chilly. So, here I sit. Sipping green tea & updating you, Dear Reader, on the goings-on of my life.

If you're just joining us I'm going to give you a teeny-tiny timeline of the past couple of years...

Summer of 2007-Awesome Family I Worked For Says Go to California & So I Do
September 23, 2007-Fly to California
October, 2007-First job! Working as a personal assistant to stand-up comedienne/actress Carolina Rhea
October, 2007-Writers Guild of America goes on strike
February 7, 2008-Lose my job
March, 2008-work on episodes of "Desperate Housewives" & "Penn & Teller's Bullshit"
April 3, 2008-get new job with producer & lovely family in Beverly Hills area
October,2008-the market crashes
November, 2008-go down to part-time at job, get hired at Barnes & Noble
January, 2009-get promoted at Barnes & Noble
March, 2009-leave previous job permanently because of B&N schedule
April, 2009-am fired by Barnes & Noble after being coerced into an almost-false confession by a Loss Prevention BEAST Woman (?) (remaining violently bitter about it to this day...)
May, 2009-Go completely broke & begin living off of homemade sourdough bread. My credit is shot to hell. (Seriously, I think my FICO is probably less than 100)I owe money to pretty much anything that I've ever been associated with. I decide to move back in with my parents in Indianapolis.
May 24, 2009-My dad flies out to Los Angeles & we drive from the West Coast to the East Coast in 5 days.
June, 2009-And here I am.

On May 24 I woke up at 5am & packed the remnants of my belongings into my car & after a tearful goodbye with my roommate I headed off to the airport. I got pulled over by a cop because my brake light was out...so..that was the first thing my dad saw when meeting me at the car. LOL The cop was lovely & I was super stoked to say goodbye to the LAPD for now. I took my dad on a fast-track tour of my haunts in LA. I showed him the insanity of driving on not only the 10 but also the 405. We took Fairfax down past The Grove & then finally to Sunset & then I hopped onto Hollywood Blvd. to show him Grauman's, El Capitan, & the Kodak Theatre. I showed him my apartment building & then drove into Beachwood Canyon to see the Hollywood sign...we stopped at an auto place to replace the tail light & were then set to go.

I was glad to have someone with me upon exiting Los Angeles because if I had been by myself I would have turned it into a seriously melodramatic scene. Before my dad announced he would be driving with me I had already planned to be listening to Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Sunset Blvd." during the 90 minutes it takes to get out of Los Angeles county when driving East on a Sunday morning. Thankfully, I never saw the You're Now Leaving Los Angeles sign or the Say Farewell To Your Dreams & Hello To Eternal Suckage of Life sign. We entered the desert & drove on the original Route 66 a bit & then I decided that 40mph just wasn't cutting it & got back on the main road. We stopped in Barstow at In & Out to eat. Dad was floored by how crowded it was & also by how freaking fabulous the food is! Ah, until we meet again Most Delicious Double-Double. I was so eager to just get the hell out of California & start this next chapter of life that I drove the whole day. The desert was just gorgeous to go through.

We found a hotel in the proverbial Somewhere In Arizona. The next morning my dad woke me up at 3:45am & said we should leave early to go see the Grand Canyon. We drove about an hour to get to the park. It was right after sunrise & was just breathtaking. It's one of those places that you can't stop staring at because it's so unreal. It looks like a giant photograph of something..just too much to take in with only your eyes.

After 2 hours at the Canyon we started making headway to the border of Arizona/Utah. Our next destination was Monument Valley! We drove for HOURS through the weirdest piece of geography that I think exists on the planet. The dirt is burnt orange. There are no trees. Once you hit the Navajo Indian Reservation there are ENORMOUS boulders, buttes, & mesas covering everything. There are no policemen. No hospitals. No schools. (I know they're somewhere, but NOWHERE that was close by.) Every once in a while you'd see a shanty where Native Americans would be selling jewelry & arrows. Every 20 miles or so you'd see a little cluster of trailers & cars & a few wigwams...that's where they live. This little pocket of America was fascinating & disturbing. We drove into Monument Valley to the Jurassic Park soundtrack & believe me, it was EPIC. This place was like Disney Land for my Dad as he is a huge Western fan & all of the big Westerns were filmed out there.

We left Monument Valley in search of food. We asked one of the Navajo what kind of food we could find in the next town. The next town was over 20 miles away & called "Mexican Hat." The guy said that we could definitely find food at this good diner that was there but he wasn't sure if it was still around because he hadn't left the Monument Valley area in over 10 years. (Wow) We were really excited about the possibility of food & also about this town called Mexican Hat. Then we got there. The town was dead. It was about a mile long. No hotel was open. There were no diners & no inhabitants to speak of. There were NO cars on the road. There were two bars. It...was eerie. And sketchy. And kinda scary. So we got back on the road & the picture below is what we looked at for probably the next 4 or 5 hours...

We got a couple of hours into Utah & found an adorable diner called The Patio. It's a family run business with the BEST damn cheeseburger I've EVER had in my life. In fact, all we ate on the road were burgers...it was like a burger tasting across the United States. After a really scary thunderstorm in Utah we hit Colorado & found another hotel. Sleep. Wake. On the road again.

We make our way past Denver & as we entered a town called Vail there was a significant DROP in temperature. We went to a rest area after all around us it began SNOWING!!!! The mountains were still covered & there was snow all over the ground. We got gas & met this guy at the gas station who told us he couldn't wait til the weekend so he could go camping...with just a sleeping bag, his fishing equipment, & a campfire...in the mountains. Coloradians are really cool people. I've never seen so many huge cars covered in mud & people who always look like they're ready to go scale a mountain on their bikes...why? Because they're always on the tops of everyone's cars.

We headed into Kansas that night & stayed somewhere around some hotel at a university. The next day proved to be the most horrifically awful driving experience of my life. For starters, it rained. ALL. DAY. LONG. It was just a typical rain. It lasted ALL DAY LONG & prevented us from being able to go the actual speed limit because the roads were so slick. On top of that everywhere you could see was just barren farm land. Everywhere. It was ridiculous. It was like driving on a treadmill. If the military wants to use some non-violent torture methods they should just start them at Welcome to Kansas sign & then make them WALK all the way to the You're Now Leaving Kansas sign. See if they don't divulge info in that green, cloudy wasteland.

Missouri was next. We saw the arch. It was cool. Then Illinois...closer!!! We FINALLY arrived in Indiana on the 4th day of driving. We got to my parents' house & I unpacked my car into my old room. It...was surreal. We all went to sleep early & then woke the next morning to make the journey to Charleston!! Mom, Abby (younger sibling), Dad, & I piled into the Parents' car & off we went. My Dad & I had total cocaine eyes because it was the week where the driving never stopped!!! We switched off every 2 hours & after grabbing dinner at this fabulous diner in Spartanburg (AAUUGGGHHH Lowcountry food is just incomparable...there were hush puppies, real pulled pork bbq with the mustard sauce, & SWEET, SWEET tea...drrroooolll..)We got to my sister's house in Charleston around 9-ish.

Charleston was fun. I saw a couple of friends but spent most of my time with the family. I was so exhausted from the trip & still trying to mentally deal with leaving LA & what will happen now that I didn't care to be social.

All in all it was a good week. There was frogmore stew, cookouts, lots of time with the sisters & the nephews & extended family...then we got back on the road.

I'm going on my second week of being back in exile in Indianapolis.

Selling Bed on Craigslist Dillemma..

2009-05-16T14:45:00.000-07:00

This morning I posted my bed for sale on Craigslist. The ad was very simple: I'm moving in 6 days. I must sell my bed ASAP. It's barely over a year old, fabulous condition, no delivery is available. $200. I'm willing to negotiate the price."

So this really sweet couple who are new to LA come by & see it. It's for the girl's apartment. She sits on it. She lays down on it. He does the same. She says it's super comfy & perfect & I tell them that I'll throw in the 4 "lifts" I have for underneath the bed that are awesome for creating storage space. THEN they ask me if I have a sheet or something to help get it out & cover it. I have this red comforter that I bought when I first moved to LA & told them they could use it. I also told them they could keep it if they wanted as I have no use for it. THEN the girl asks me about the price. I DID say I'd be willing to negotiate...so we settled on me knocking $50 off. $150 for a bed that cost over TWICE as much originally & is only a year-ish old.

They leave & then an hour or so later I get a phone call. "This bed is a twin!" she says. She wants me to take $50 off. I tell her,"I'm...I'm really sorry...but no. You came in here. You physically saw & TRIED OUT the bed. I'm sorry if you thought it was a full & it was a size under. The point is that you already tried out the bed. You KNEW the size of it because you SAW it & FELT it."

I'm not giving her the money back.

Am I a bad person? Or have I just officially turned into an Angeleno? Or...is it...Angelena...for women?

No. I'm not a bad person.

An almost sure decision...

2009-05-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

No melodrama in this blog, I promise.

This week basically gave me my answer. I asked God to close all the doors that need to be closed & to open the ones I was supposed to follow. I've prayed & have waited for some kind of answer & so far all arrows are pointing East for now. Of course I was really upset in the beginning...feeling like my time here in LA was completely wasted & was bitter because I felt like I hadn't been given a fair chance. One of my biggest flaws that I'm aware of is that when faced with a difficult situation I always look to outside circumstances to blame. If I look at this honestly I would probably not be in this situation as badly as I am had I managed my money better. Granted, that doesn't help the job thing. A few things I KNOW...

-California is BROKE. They've discovered an insane reason to stop sending me unemployment checks...they claim that Barnes & Noble told them I wasn't fired. I called HR & they said that there was no reason I should have said that & then the unemployment people said, 'Well, that's not what they said.."...so either Unemployment is lying to me or Barnes & Noble is about to get their asses sued. Something that would give me insane amounts of pleasure.

-I don't feel like I failed here like I did in the beginning. I survived the writers' strike. I survived the market crash. I've been on tv, worked in the industry, worked for celebrities, worked WITH celebrities, been to a club where your name had to be on a list in order to get in...scored free concert tickets from celebrity twitter pals...LOL...I went on a road trip up the PCH to Napa Valley & back. All in all, I've had a phenomenal 2 years here.

-I need a chance to breathe. I came to Los Angeles to pursue the entertainment industry at the worst possible time. I need a chance to build my credit up, pay back some debt, & finish my degree. My parents are very generously giving me that opportunity. (So, back to Indiana I go. Not thrilled. But willing.)

-This is only temporary. I believe that it takes a very special kind of person to truly love Los Angeles...most people I meet either here or anywhere else HATE this city. Even after all I've been through I STILL love it!!! I'm not kidding when I say I'd live in my car to stay here...totally irresponsible...but I would. I know the city. I know what to expect. I moved out here with two suitcases, no job, no apartment. I know that I'm supposed to do something creative with my life & now that I know what it takes I can go regroup & then come back when/if the economy gets better.

-Along with California being broke...the economy sucks. NO ONE in Hollywood is getting jobs. I babysit for a very established actress who is now only being offered commercials and ONE LINERS on tv...and she hasn't even landed those. So, honestly, if the economy is going to stay like this for a LONG time in Hollywood then I don't think I want to be out here just being poor & being away from my family & friends going nowhere for a while. BUT..if it's going to get better, then I'll wait a bit more, save some money, & you can bet I'll be back here as soon as possible.

-I feel the need to write down a list of reasons detailing specifically WHY I'm leaving. I need for people to know I'm not giving up. It's not that LA is just "too hard" or "too far" or "not what I thought it would be." It's just not where i can survive at this time in my life...and even though I SSSOOOOOOO don't want to leave...I have to right now. And that's okay with me.

I'll have a more detailed blog to come. As it stands, I'll be leaving next weekend. I'm secretly SUPER excited about making a trip cross country...I'm totally going to be pretending like I'm Daryl Hannah in Kill Bill Volume II...or...in No Country For Old Men...when I drive through the West. I just wanted to keep everyone abreast of what's going on. Thanks SO much for all of your encouragement!!

I'm looking at two doors...

2009-05-12T16:00:00.000-07:00

One door is wide, wide open.

The other is barely ajar with a bit of light peeking through & being my curious, stubborn self I want SO badly to run up to the door, open it & see what's on the other side...it could either be total financial stability & awesomeness...OR...it could be impoverishment & an overwhelming sense of "too late."

I cried all day today. Literally, from the moment I woke up to right this second I've been in tears. Yesterday, I asked God for an answer & received a partial one. So, I knew what I was doing yesterday & then again today. Today I received more of an answer...a very concrete one. I told my dad I had decided to move back. Sooner rather than later. I can't tell you what a gut wrenching conversation that was. I feel like leaving would make me a total failure because I never had a chance to REALLY try to make it in the industry because I kept losing my jobs. What sucks even more is that I KNEW I was supposed to move out here. I never planned to...it literally just fell in my lap. So, I decided to move back. I called possible employers in SC, called my friends, called my dad, & told them. My dad tells me that it would be better if I moved back to Indiana...and I told him that would be like death. I'm not exaggerating my loathing for living there. There's nothing for me there but family. Which, don't get me wrong, is awesome but there's more to life & I'm simply not a midwestern girl. I'm not. I can thrive in a lot of places but the midwest is not one of them. I finally gave in & told him if I couldn't secure a job in SC then I'd move to Indiana. (Blergh. Major blergh.)

So, while I'm sitting here readying myself emotionally to give a dramatic farewell to my beloved Hollywood I get off the phone with my father & IMMEDIATELY receive a phone call from the nanny agency who tells me that the prospective family I was going to work for liked me AFTER ALL & that they wanted another trial period next week. Well, next week's too late. If I get the job next week then fantastic...I can stay. But I have to make a decision NOW & the job honestly isn't something I'm crazy about & if I happen to NOT get it...then I'm seriously up a crick.

So, what do I do? I've already emotionally prepared myself for the move back. In fact, part of me is looking forward to it & the other part of me just wants to climb to the tip-top of the giant L on the Hollywood sign & throw myself from it in an act of artistic defiance. Helicopters, barbed wire & motion sensor alarms be damned! I'm so terrified...TERRIFIED that if/when I move back East that will be the end. The coolest story I'll ever have to tell about myself was that I lived in Los Angeles for 2 years & failed miserably...then drug my little feet back to the East coast to go swirling down, down, down Ursula's mighty ocean vortex only to be turned into a shriveled piece of talking seaweed again. Why did God take me out here only to turn around & send me right back? Am I still supposed to follow what I believe to be is my calling? A 9-5 job is simply not what's meant for me...I KNOW that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I'm an artistic person & I want THAT to be my living. There's part of my that wants to throw my hands up in defeat & at least be grateful that I got to live in such a cool place...that I've experienced the wonder that is the God Sandwich at Larchmont Wine & Cheese & the crazy, homeless people in front of Grauman's...but I can't do that honestly. If we're talking HONESTLY then I am INSATIABLE for experience, travel, & overall life living. I can't handle being pushed back into a corner & being told what to do. I can't handle failing like this. But at the same time I just need some room to breathe. I simply refuse to be one of those people that moves away from LA because it's "too hard." It's NOT too hard. I LOVE it here. I don't know who or why I feel like I have to prove this...but the only reason I'd be leaving is because I'm being pushed out by simple economics. (IblameyouGeorgeBush.IfIdidn'thateyoubeforeIhateyounow.)

Annnnddddd...I just got a notice from my bank that the cheque I sent to pay for my phone bill just bounced. I...really just want to dry up & blow away.

Dear Life, It's Me, Laura...

2009-05-08T12:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Life,

I wish I could get a decade back. Just one. I know that most people say that they have no regrets but let's be honest, there are about a hundred million different choices I'd make if I knew the outcome of my decisions then.

I'm between a rock & a hard place. I'm in a place that I love SO much & it's where the only career I think I could excel at exists & I'm wondering truly for the first time if it's worth it. I have no money. No job. No car insurance. My phone is going to be disconnected (again) today because I have no money to pay my bill. I get through days like this two ways:

1. I pray. I know that God is faithful no matter what..things may not turn out like I want them to but I know God won't ever leave me so that helps.

2. I imagine myself years from now in an interview with a magazine at some diner on Sunset. I've had some amount of success & I look back on all of this & see that it was worth it. Yay. Good. I'll stay. BUT...what if nothing happens? What if I miss out on years of seeing my family & best friends, utterly destroying my credit record, & not having any semblance of a real job or validation by the time I'm 30 years old? Then I'll be 30, alone, working retail, & regretting SO much of my life.

I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of not being able to hold down a job, not having a group of friends..I hate not being able to see my SC friends more than once a year. I hate not being able to see my family...we were all supposed to get together at the end of May but once I lost my job at B&N (Another blog, ENTIRELY) those plans were blown out of the water. It makes me so upset because my family (the WHOLE family) can only get together maybe twice a year...it was awesome this Christmas that everyone was able to get together for a few days.

I realize that I'm young. But I've felt young for YEARS...& now I'm about to be 24 years old in 7 weeks. I see SO many people in my age group with families, kids (!!!), & they seem so...put together...& I hate/envy angrily them for it. I see pictures of their decorated homes with their matching furniture, china sets, & back yards...& then when I look to my direct left there's an unmade bed with a pile of laundry waiting to be folded in front of it & a 6 lb pomeranian sleeping beneath the bed til his mother gets home & he pees everywhere.

Confessional: Basically, what I'm saying is that I feel like maybe I'm not young anymore & if I don't want to be one of those middle aged people who is creepily hanging around Canter's Kibbitz Room in a velvet cape I need to start making some adult decisions in my life. I just...I don't know. I know it's silly but I feel like the majority of my life has somehow been spent as being a fraud & now that I'm in the real world it's all coming out & I don't have what it takes to be a successful adult. Everything is so uncertain & I just hate feeling like I'm wasting more time.

So the pro's & con's are weighed...

California Pro's:
-It's California & I LOVE everything about it. The good, the bad, & the ugly. Yesterday, at the people's house I may be nannying for they had a huge painting that said: I Love LA (then underneath) I Hate LA & then by the "I Love LA" there was a check mark & I LOVED it. People bitch about California all the time. I am not one of them. I lovingly chide sometimes but I LOVE this place with my soul!
-It's expensive.
-I know, like, 4 people here.
-It's where Hollywood is..& I love Hollywood...I always have & SO want to be a real artist in this community/industry. But so does everybody else who moves here.
-In & Out burgers...

California Con's:
-It's about as far away from everyone I know & love as I can possibly get.
-It's expensive.

South Carolina Pro's:
-It's South Carolina. Therefore, it has everything California does in aesthetic & cultural beauty (equal, but different)
-Almost everyone I know & love is there. It's such an easy place to be. I could easily spend the rest of my life there...

But I wasn't happy there. In fact, I'm rarely happy anywhere I go...because I get myself into sticky situations a la Lucille Ball..but unfortunately, I don't have humorous writers to get me out of these situations in a heart pounding yet totally endearing & adorable way. Or maybe that's what God is. Maybe God is the writer of the I Love Lucy episode that is my life.

So I have a question for all of you...ALL of you...: Where are you at right now? Do you feel like you have it together? Are you content? Is what I'm feeling an indication that a change should take place or is this just the human condition & am I taking life just way too personally?

Sincerely,

Laura

Asparagus Soup de Awesome

2009-04-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

I have a deep, deep love affair with asparagus. It's my favorite green vegetable. After my hike on Sunday I stepped into Beachwood Market & was greeted by 2lbs of FRESH, ORGANIC bundles of asparagus for $2.99!!! One of the huge bonuses of living in California is that the produce is that it's so easy to find good, fresh, local, organic produce ALL YEAR ROUND. Of course, I bought the asparagus & last night I realized it was a hella lot of asparagus & there was no way I'd eat it all before it went all slimy & bad. So. I took it upon myself to make asparagus soup & y'all...it...was freaking awesome. Super healthy too. I looked at quite a few recipes for it & ALL of them said that the base needed to be cream. Well, I was like, um, no, I think not...if I'm going to consume 2lbs of pure green veggie goodness I'm not going to have the nutrients ruined by having them o'ertaken by a bunch of fatty, congealed, cream grossness that once spewed from a cow chesticle. (I'm not a milk fan, btw.)

I ran up to the store & just decided to make my own & prayed it would turn out edible...

1 quart of organic vegetable broth
1 cup of diced yellow onion
5 cloves of garlic
salt
pepper
lemon juice
1 tbls butter
2 tbls olive oil
2 tbls flour
1 cup of sunflower or pumpkin seeds

1. Break 1 1/2-2lbs of asparagus into 3 2inch-ish pieces. Set aside.

2. Heat olive oil over medium heat in large pan or large pot.

3. Dice 5 cloves of garlic & 1 cup of yellow onion. Saute in oil for about 3-4 minutes.

4. Turn the heat to HIGH & add the asparagus, sauteing until it turns dark green & cooked through.

5. Remove from heat & place contents in blender.

6. Add 1 cup of veggie broth to the blender as well.

7. BLEND. BLEND UNTIL YOU CAN BLEND NO MORE & YOU HAVE A BLENDER CUP FULL OF GREEN SLUDGE THAT CAUSES YOUR ROOMMATE TO ASK 'WHAT SMELLS SO GOOD?!' & THEN SHE SEES THE SLUDGE & GRIMACES. (Grimace: a facial expression, often ugly or contorted that references pain of some kind)

8. Set aside sludge.

9. In the same pan/pot as before melt a tablespoon of butter over medium heat & then add the 2 tablespoons of flour. Stir around until it's all clumpy & then GRADUALLY add the remaining broth until all of the flour clumps are removed & it's lovely, smooth soup broth. Bring to a BOIL & then remove from heat.

10. Then TAKE AWAY its innocence by adding the aforementioned green sludge.

11. Stir it until it turns into a giant pot of asparagus soup. No, you're not done yet. Did you taste it? Bland? Yup. Ok. Get your lemon juice, salt, & pepper. Add each of these until it tastes the way you want it to. Last night I added about 2 tablespoons of pepper, a tablespoon of salt, & Lord only knows how much lemon juice. (But I'm a huge lemon fan so your preferences may be different.)

12. After the taste is exactly how you want it then add your cup of seeds. I did this on a whim because for some reason I needed a bit more texture & a more nutty, robust flavor & the seeds worked PERFECTLY!! I have to admit I was really proud of myself for coming up with this one.

The soup tastes fabulous & is SUPER easy to make. I realize that it's summer so you're probably not in a soup mood...but if you get in one it's light & summery & flavorful. California has plenty of cool nights (last night, for example, I was freezing) & so it really hit the spot.

Favorite places in LA...

2009-04-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

What else does one do on a sleepless night at 1:19am? Nobody is updating on twitter because everyone is in bed (even on the West Coast)...nobody is online on Facebook because they're all in bed as well. SO. I'm going to blog. I've been able to play tour guide SEVERAL times over the past year & each time I've loved it more & more. I keep discovering new things around LA which makes it seem more & more my own. I also get a lot of questions from online pals who are coming to visit & want to know what to see, where to eat, etc...

So...if you're planning on visiting Los Angeles...here is a guide from a local...and in one year...(3 years of living here!) I'll be a native!! ;)

The Marmalade Cafe:
There are several locations of the Marmalade Cafe in California. My favorite (because I'm biased) is in Sherman Oaks on Ventura Blvd. located in the lovely, dusty, & 10 degrees hotter than everywhere else in LA, San Fernando Valley. The inside is decorated to the point of being gawdy but it's so pretty & has such an old fashioned feel to it that it makes it a super great experience. They serve upscale American food...not TOO expensive but everything I've ever had there has been absolutely superb. If you're a fan of eggs they have a massive create-your-own omelette that you can order that is VERY exciting...and massive. Their coffee is fabulous...as I judge most places by their coffee sadly. One of the BEST things to order there is a favorite of Former Roommate Brandi's...and it's a spinach salad with goat cheese, walnuts, &...I feel like there's something else on it...no matter. The salad freaking kicks ass.

The Frolic Room:
Do you like bars that are just very to the point? The Frolic Room is one of those bars. It's a bar. That's it. There's a bar, a jukebox, a television, a lot of chairs, & a lot of liquor. It's a staple location in Hollywood...right down the street from Hollywood & Vine & DIRECTLY next to the Pantages Theater. It's old fashioned & every time I've been there the people have been really fun & even the creepy ones aren't that creepy. The drinks aren't expensive & although it's a great dive bar it totally doesn't have the nasty side effect of dive bars that includes cigarette smoke & roofies. (Also, LA Confidential & The Black Dahlia were filmed here!)

The 101 Cafe:
The 101 Cafe is a recurring character in my LA adventures. It's located on Franklin Ave. in the Hollywood Hills & is situated beneath a Best Western across from Cesar's car repair. It's been featured in Entourage, Knocked Up, & several other films. Celebrities are there all the freaking time...Rufus Sewell, Jared Leto, Sylar from Heroes, Teri Hatcher, Chris Pine, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Eva Mendes, David Cook, & several others have been there when my friends &/or I have. It's a typical diner with typical diner food. Their breakfasts are cheap & their coffee is great. They attempt to have a serious menu with options like "penna pasta" or freaking salmon with caviar (i'm sorry, but i will NEVER order caviar from a diner beneath a hotel)but their best stuff is their burgers. Their mushroom taquitos rock my world quite a bit too.

Truly Vegan:
Truly Vegan is located on Hollywood Blvd. about two blocks past Argyle Ave in the opposite direction of Vine. I don't know what direction that is. I still haven't caught on to the whole East/West/North/South/Upside Down thing that they do here on the West Coast for directional purposes. I stick with,"Um, that way..." I came here with a friend of mine from high school when she & a friend were visiting LA from Chicago. I'm vegetarian & have almost completely given up dairy but really can't STAND most vegan foods. They end up having a gross after taste if they're not made properly & I love food so much that taste & texture MATTER to me. A lot. So, we go to this place as my friend is a vegan. It's teeny-tiny. Just a few small tables & chairs & a massively impressive menu. My expectations were completely low because the food was SO inexpensive I just couldn't fathom it tasting any good. I ordered a seitan (chicken tasting) sandwich with lettuce & some kind of cilantro sauce as well as a coffee. My friend ordered banana pancakes & her friend ordered a big ass salad. The salad was HUGE & totally fresh & awesome looking. I tried the banana pancakes...they had WHOLE slices of bananas in them & instead of eggs they USED banana substitute. (I tried doing this with pancakes at home later & it worked SPLENDIDLY. Seriously, if you want to make your breakfast food more healthy, substitute the eggs with bananas & you will NOT regret it.)They were absolutely delicious. My sandwich was BEYOND awesome. It didn't taste just like chicken but was juicy & TASTY & that's what counted. The coffee....was...phenomenal. It was just pure, wonderful, organic coffee made with a French press & sweetened with Agave nectar & made my life whole for a few splendiferous moments as I consumed it...

Larchmont Wine & Cheese:
Ok, so seriously, I've talked an insane amount about this place...especially when I first moved here & was working for Caroline Rhea. She turned me on to this place & whenever she was in LA I'd buy MULTIPLE sandwiches from this place because I'm pretty sure they put crack in the sauce. It's a wine & cheese shop in Larchmont Village. In the back on the left there's a sandwich bar...I order...every time I'm there (because it's the BEST)...the prosciutto mozzarella sandwich. Now. I do not eat pork. I avoid it pretty much at all costs but this sandwich is utter kryptonite to me & therefore, I treat myself once every few months. Simple: ciabatta bread, some kind of orange spread, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, arugula (the SEXIEST of ALL the greens & my all-time fave!), fresh slices of doughy mozzarella, & freshly sliced prosciutto. Heaven in my mouth. I have dubbed them "God Sandwiches." I swear the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil was just a metaphor for Larchmont Wine & Cheese & Eve took a bite of this sandwich...(I can't say I blame her..)

Canter's & The Kibbitz Room:
Canter's Deli is another historical staple here. It's located on Fairfax...somewhere on Fairfax...way before The Grove/Farmer's Market if you're coming from Sunset & taking a left onto Fairfax...because everyone knows where that is. (Hahahahah)Canter's is a Jewish deli with a bar/lounge called The Kibbitz Room attached. The deli doesn't have fabulous food. It's seriously created for the sole benefit of stoners & drunks to come in & consume before they stumble home as it is open 24 hours a day. They haven't changed the light-up sign outside in who knows how long as only the "C" now is now lit. When the "C" finally burns out I don't think they'll replace it...they'll just figure that if you don't already know where it is then you shouldn't be going there anyways. And they're probably right. If you REALLY want a slice of Hollywood from the 70s & 80s it's a great place. The last time I was there a friend of mine from back East was playing an open mic & the three of us befriended a musician who's been closing for YEARS there. His name is Artie Vegas. He has a glass eye, long hair, spits when he talks, & wears a cape. Yes. A cape. And lots of shiny clothing. He also used to be a street evangelist & we got to hear about an hour's worth of his stories before leaving that night. The bartenders are super cool & laid back. There are no airs in that place at all. It's not glamorous, but damn it has character!

El Torito at The Galleria in Sherman Oaks:
Whenever friends come to visit one of the things they say they want to try is REAL Mexican food. Considering that Mexico is only 3 hours away you can find authentic Mexican cuisine eevveerryywwhheerree. One of my favorite places (if you want a sit-down restaurant & not a tacquiera stand) is El Torito in The Galleria in Sherman Oaks. Their portions are HUGE. All of their food is outstanding...even something as simple as a taco has its own fabulous spin on it. My favorite is the taco meal that comes with green rice, a corn cake (again, probably made with crack as Brandi & I took to literally ordering sides of JUST the corn cakes), black beans, & super delicious, super fresh tacos. The steak fajitas are also a.maz.ing. The layout of the restaurant is really cool as well...you can sit at normal tables like normal people OR go out on the porch where you can LOUNGE like Cleopatra on couches & have the food in the middle. For the amount of food & quality of it the prices are really outstanding. The regular margaritas are only $5. I ate here probably once every two weeks when I lived in the Valley.

The Arclight on Sunset in Hollywood:
Do you like movie theatres? I...am kind of obsessed. Another thing I demand of my visitors is that I give them the Arclight experience. There are two of them currently...there's one in the Valley in the Galleria & then another (more superior one) in Hollywood on Sunset & Vine. You walk in & it's an overwhelming room & you realize that there's a restaurant & a full bar inside. The walls are COVERED in movie photographs. The restaurant's food is FABULOUS & there are always 21+ screenings where you can bring cocktails INTO the theater! I've never been to one but I'm assuming they're fun...(?) Also, in the lobby there are always displays of some kind...usually there are massive costume exhibits...last year there was Sweeney Todd, Atonement...& when The Dark Knight came out they brought in Batman's MOTORCYCLE...or BATCYCLE..whatever he calls it. When you buy your tickets you get to PICK YOUR SEATS. The chairs are ridiculously huge & comfy & there's always an usher that comes in, welcomes you, & announces what movie you're about to view before it starts. I love Arclight's system because it reminds me that I'm IN Hollywood where movies are more than entertainment...they're pieces of art & part of a huge industry that fuels the wallets & souls of millions. :)

Video Hut:
I love Video Hut. Video Hut is a rotten little place in Franklin Village right across the road from the Gelson's by Beachwood Canyon in Hollywood. Their movies are DIRT CHEAP to rent & they have all of the obscure ones that Blockbuster & Hollywood Video DON'T carry but that I always want to watch!! I heart Video Hut. If you move here & are in the Hollywood area it's a MUST. If you don't live in the Hollywood area & are looking for a movie that Blockbuster doesn't have try Video Hut! So far every time Blockbuster hasn't had something I've ALWAYS found it here!!

Awesome coffee place inside The Daily Planet:
Maybe the awesome coffee place IS called The Daily Planet. I don't know. But it's amazing. On Franklin Ave next to Bird's Cafe, La Piazza, & La Poubelle there's a newsstand called The Daily Planet...inside, there's a door...beyond that door is the COOLEST FREAKING COFFEE SHOP I"VE EVER BEEN TO. It's dimly lit & cash only. The coffee is SUPERB & so are their teas. The decorations are beyond decadent & look like the owners raided the set of "Marie Antoinette" & "Man In the Iron Mask". Enormous comfy couches & chairs straight from the Louis XIV era are all over the place & the baristas are just too cool to be true. Much love to this place.

Counterpoint used bookstore:
I love Counterpoint. It's just a block down from The Daily Planet & is now celebrating its 30th anniversary! I love Counterpoint. It has an ENORMOUS selection of records, cassette tapes, CDs, VHS tapes as well as DVDs. Its book selection is MARVELOUS. They get new ones in every day & you can buy a hard cover book for LITERALLY a 6th of the price as you would at Barnes & Noble or Borders. What's wonderful about independent stores is that they don't go by the bestsellers or what's new & trendy in the book world. In a store like this you can find Kathryn Grayson's sheet music, a cookbook from 1966 compiled by Shirley Maclaine (involving every actor from Frank Sinatra to Gene Kelly to Doris Day to Bob Hope to Cary Grant!) for charity. Yes, I bought it. No, you can't have it. You can also find a book of short stories by Virginia Woolf that Leonard Woolf compiled shortly after her death. (Yes, that one's mine too.) It's beyond awesome. The booksellers & the owner are SO knowledgeable & awesome. The music is beyond fabulous & you immediately feel a sense of belonging when you're browsing there. If I ever owned my own bookstore I would want it to feel just like this place.

The Griddle Cafe:
The Griddle Cafe is located off of Fairfax & Sunset in West Hollywood. I heard about it from a friend of a friend & that friend & I decided to try the place. It's a super noisy restaurant that serves SOME normal food & breakfast all day. It's only open in the daylight hours & is hazy & vintage looking. There's a circular bar right next to the kitchen that you can sit at as well as regular tables & also outdoor seating. It's COMPLETELY crowded & the host writes your name down on a scratch sheet of paper & then yells at you & is rude when it's time to sit down. Totally worth it though. While you COULD decide that you want regular food (even in the afternoon) you definitely SHOULD NOT make that decision. If you go to the Griddle Cafe you have to make them use the damn griddle. Their pancakes are kind of the most phenomenal things ever created by humans. I do not have much of a sweet tooth & I especially do not have one for breakfast food. Donuts do not give me a happy & I'll gladly take 4 cups of coffee over French toast any day. But in this case, 'when in Rome' was the mantra so I looked over the massive list of pancake choices & made mine. I ordered the pancakes made with kahlua & Baileys. Yes, you read correctly. Kahlua & Baileys. My friend got some kind of caramel, apple streusel pancakes. I got coffee (FRENCH PRESS COFFEE AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!) & we both ordered sides before the pancakes were ready...that was a mistake...because once the pancakes arrived we had no idea..we just...nobody warned us. Think of the biggest dinner plate you can think of. Now think of pancakes that big. Now pile 5 of those pancakes on top of that big ass dinner plate, an enormous dollop of homemade whipped cream, SMOTHER it with butter & I dare you to try & eat more than 5 bites. When you box it up & stare apologetically at the sides you ordered just know deep inside that you will now be fed fully for the next 3 days.

Aroma:
Not to be mistaken with the cute all-American cafe in the Valley. The Aroma I'm talking about is the Middle Eastern/Mediterranean restaurant on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood or off Ventura Blvd. in Encino. It's a bakery/restaurant operated by a bunch of 20-something freaking gorgeous Israelis & some amazing chefs who make the best freaking food. It's become an Easter tradition (ironically)..my first Easter in LA Melissa took me to Aroma & I fell in complete food lust with it. My second Easter weekend (a few weeks ago) I made a friend from the East Coast go & wow..just...so, so good. I always, always order the Greek plate. It blows my mind every single time. It's open until they close...which is almost never. It SEEMS expensive but when you see the massive portions it's totally worth it. Another place where you'll have meals for days afterwards.

The Cantina in Venice Beach:
I went to Venice Beach for the first time on Easter when Molly was in town. Venice Beach is probably the most East Coast-ish beach I've been to in LA. It's got that glorious, small-town, sunburnt with flip-flops seedy sandy beach vibe that I've missed since moving from Charleston. The Cantina which is right in a strip of restaurants off the beach (Washington Blvd.) is a sports bar kind of place with really amazing, cheap food. Molly & I both ordered burritos (which were, again, massive & we could only make it through half) & then margaritas. The server told us one GIANT margarita would be cheaper than two small ones so we ordered the giant..&...she wasn't lying. It was huge. The food was delicious, the service was awesome, & if you're looking for a cheap dive to eat at before, during, or after the beach then this place was fab.

That is all for now & if YOU have any suggestions for me please let me know!! :) :)

A Case Study of Birth Order & Myers-Briggs: Welcome to my head...

2009-04-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream that my little sister & my mom came to visit me in LA. Well, it was more like my mom came to visit me & my sister was there on a class trip. The first part of the dream I was in my apartment & it was like 3 or 4am & I kept getting calls from my sister..only she never talked on the other end...there was just all this noise & people talking. It happened about 5 times. Then the next day I saw her & they were all getting ready to get on the bus & I asked where their head chaperone was. I called the guy over & said,"Look, I don't want to offend you but you really need to keep tabs on where your students are when you're in this city." He blew me off & was all flustered & stressed out & I yelled,"I JUST DON'T WANT TO FIND HER DEAD ONE DAY ON THE STREET ASSHOLE!" And he got really quiet & apologized...random...

The next part of the dream I was in a marsh with my mom. There were polar bears in the water & also alligators. We were standing on the bank & I saw a polar bear attack an alligator in the water & begin to eat it. I was like,"Mom! Remember that youtube video where the polar bear ate the alligator!?!? That was filmed here!!" So we were watching it happen & I saw that my mom's rain boot was half way in the water. I told her that she needed to get it out because we weren't allowed to touch the water because the bears would freak out. So she pulled it out but it was too late. Suddenly a polar bear climbed up onto the bank & started lumbering toward us. I told her we'd have to get into the water & swim to the other side & then we'd be safe. So we got into the water & were then totally submerged...I opened my eyes under water & saw that there was a polar bear swimming under water towards us...& that was the end. It was one of those crazy stress dreams where I woke up & couldn't move. I HATE those because I really believe that what people call "bad vibes" or "dark energies" are actually corrupt spirits doing crazy things to mess with your brain. My heart was racing so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

That was just the prologue for what I've decided to talk about. Lately I've been doing lots of research on psychological things...I find that when people aren't in school anymore their brain stops being stimulated. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I think that school is required for brain stimulation...it's just that when your brain is constantly (almost forcefully) stimulated for DECADES & then suddenly just not anymore it turns slightly to mush because it becomes so lazy with routine. SO. As I am on a constant path of self-discovery I just LOVE studying psychology because I think it's probably my favorite kind of science. It's how we're WIRED & I find it to be so exciting & so telling. It's strange to hear myself feel that way because I'm usually so anti-science. I'm the type of person who thrives on authenticity & spirituality & the unexpected. I hate to think that there is a method to the madness. I just like madness for what it is & leave the rest up to God.

On to my point. I love the psychology of birth order. I also love the formulas that come from the Myers-Briggs tests. I'm also fascinated by the minds of serial killers but that's another blog for another time. I started to do some research on why I am the way I am & strangely enough...the birth order psychology & the Myers-Briggs types were SPOT ON. I recommend that if you haven't taken a Myers-Briggs test then you SHOULD. It's my favorite thing in the world & I take it frequently...just to see if I've changed. Most people don't. Some do. What counts is that you're as honest as you can possibly be when taking it & it'll be sooo worth it.

The Myers-Briggs Test: (go ahead. take it.)

I...am an ENFP. Extraverted. iNtuitive. Feeling. Perceptive. Those are my dominant traits in the way I make my decisions & function through life. ENFPs make up exactly between 2-3% of the WORLD. We're the rarest...so if you think I'm weird...it's because I am..there are very few like me. :)

ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.

ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.

ENFPs are friendly folks. Most are really enjoyable people. Some of the most soft-hearted people are ENFPs.

ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Som etimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped.

One study has shown that ENFPs are significantly overrepresented in psychodrama. Most have a natural propensity for role-playing and acting. Perhaps the combination of introverted Feeling and childlike introverted Sensing is responsible for the silent pull of ENFPs to the wishes of parents, authority figures and friends. Or perhaps it's the predominance of indecisive intuition in combination with the ambiguity of secondary Fi and tertiary Te that induces these kind souls to capitulate even life-affecting decisions. Whatever the dynamic, ENFPs are strongly influenced by the opinions of their friends.

Famous ENFPs:

Franz Joseph Haydn
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
Will Rogers
Buster Keaton
Theodor "Dr." Seuss Geisel (The Cat in the Hat)
Mickey Rooney
James Dobson ("Focus on the Family")
Andy Rooney
Carol Burnett
Paul Harvey
Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched)
Bill Cosby (Ghost Dad)
Dom Delouise, actor
Dave Thomas, owner of Wendy's hamburger chain
Lewis Grizzard, newspaper columnist
I. King Jordan, president of Gallaudet University
Martin Short, actor-comedian
Meg Ryan, actor (When Harry Met Sally)
Robin Williams, actor, comedian (Dead Poet's Society, Mrs. Doubtfire)
Sandra Bullock, actor (Speed, While You Were Sleeping)
Robert Downey Jr. (Heart and Souls)
Alicia Silverstone (Clueless)
Sinbad
Steven Spielberg
Andy Kaufman
Regis Philbin
Judy Garland

Fictional:
Dr. Doug Ross (ER)
Balkie (Perfect Strangers)
Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Steve Urkel

Careers:
Journalist
Counselor
Writer
Film Producer
Marketing
Public Relations Specialist

All that you see above is absolutely true about me. Now...birth order. Have any of you heard of Middle Child Syndrome? No? Yes? I am a middle child. And for those of you who are also middle children you will know EXACTLY what I am talking about even if the others don't...BUT it will definitely enlighten.

Middle Child Syndrome:

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.

Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.

The above description sounds really self-pitying & I apologize. I'm at the point where I'm over it & am just fascinated instead of being bitter. It's just SO interesting to me that the feelings I had as a kid are totally explained through BIRTH ORDER. In a way it was unleashed upon me & in another way I made the choice to isolate & become insanely independent to kind of a scary point.

I STILL think of my older sister every time I hear the song Creep by Radiohead because she had it on a mix tape in the 90s. I never even LIKED the song when I was a kid but because she had it it meant that it was cool so I went with it.

My sisters & I are respectively about 7 years apart in age. The elder is married with two children & is in her early 30s, I'm in my mid-20s, & the youngest is still a teenager. When people find this out they ask if we're close & I'm like,"Duh, of course we're close. How can you be in a family & not be close?" So I look at where their lives are at & where mine is at & it all makes sense with the birth order deal.

The little one is kind of a neat freak, MUST HAVE A PLAN ALL THE TIME OR SHE'LL HAVE A STROKE, & when you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she'll answer something vague like,"Someone who makes lots of money." She's slightly demanding & is not afraid to ask for exactly what she wants. It's a trait that I really envied when I was younger & have had to force myself to do the same instead of retreating into a corner & settling for 2nd or 3rd best like I did when I was little.

The elder one is the most typical eldest child ever. I'm nearly 24 years old but when we're all together as a family I still consider her the adult & me & the younger one as the two little kids who need to be told what to do. She's the one who tells us we're being selfish or rude when we're behaving like brats & she's the only one we listen to. If the little one is behaving like a beast & I tell her so she just keeps acting like a beast. If the elder one tells her she's acting like a beast she'll actually get offended & then apologize. HAhahahahah The eldest children are great at follow through. My sister, for example, so far has achieved her major life goals. She is a nurse in the part of the hospital where the babies are born (i do not know the name..), she's married, & has two freaking adorable sons who are smart AND gorgeous. I don't say that as their favorite Auntie. I say that because it is truth.

As a middle child I know that I tend to go with the flow. If there's peace to be had I will try to make it. I don't speak out very often about what exactly I want because I feel like a demanding brat. I also don't ask for help from people unless in a dire situation because I feel like it makes me seem overly codependent. It also makes me feel like I'm a burden..so when I DO ask for help I'll retreat immediately afterward so they don't feel like I'm being needy. It's crazy. I know. You really don't know how much the lyrics to that Barbra Streisand song ring true for me..."People, who need people, are the luckiest people in the wooorrllddd..." I really am perplexed at HOW exactly you gauge how much you can ask of someone before you become a burden.

So where does that leave me?! The middle child syndrome along with the ENFP personality type contradicts each other quite frequently. It's finding that happy medium that's key. Where do I leave the crazy independent girl behind for the ENFP who's inspiring & totally loving & loyal? When do I set my sights on my gifts & talents rather than just settling on 2nd best instead of DEMANDING the very best for myself?

Ok. So you've read this. Do some self-examining. It's fun. I don't mean with a mirror where you look at your danger zone & see if all's well. I mean look at your birth order & take the Myers Briggs test!!! It's SO eye opening & addicting. You'll totally keep researching once you find out your type. :) :) :)

Random thoughts while waiting for Aaron...

2009-04-10T21:49:00.001-07:00

Aside from a current event that happened early this morning I'm feeling ridiculously optimistic. Aside from words being put in my mouth & being completely thrown under the bus by my superior (he did this by keeping his cowardly mouth shut when he had the chance to vouch for my character)...I feel blindingly excited about new potential opportunities. The past few months have been really eye-opening for me. The first 23 years of my life were all about me knowing EXACTLY what I wanted in life & no clue how I am. Now I have no idea what exactly I want but know exactly who I am. It's a weird place to be & sometimes I wish it'd happened in reverse.

Things I'm Thinking About:

This weekend is going to be amazing! I have not one...but TWO friends from South Carolina coming to see me. Aaron is on his way here as I type this & I'll be fetching Molly from Santa Monica tomorrow morning! Hurrah!! It's Easter weekend & there is an arrangement of fresh flowers on the table that I treated myself to at Trader Joe's. I'm really excited for church on Sunday. I've been facebook stalking my pastor's status updates & know that the service is going to be phe.nom.en.al.

Every now & then I feel this pang of homesickness & want to pack up & leave this ridiculousness behind. I'm trying to plan a trip to Charleston so that I can get it out of my system, remember that I love LA a whole bunch, & will return to my life of poverty & aimlessness.

On that note, things are going to be changing for me. I don't know how yet but I am bound & determined. I'm too accustomed to this state I've gotten myself into where I can't pay bills. The other night I was walking home & this quote suddenly popped into my head,"I've discovered that money is the most important thing in the world. And I don't intend to ever be without it again." Courtesy of a one Miss Scarlett O'Hara.

I was hit with a wall of inspiration last week outside of The Farm of Beverly Hills at The Grove. I sat down outside by the fountain, ordered a coffee, & began to just..write. I wrote about two pages of a really great scene that I'm going to develop into something awesome. (I hope.)

I have recently become obsessed with the acting artistry belonging to Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, he's become a super star in the past year with Iron Man & Tropic Thunder & now The Soloist...but his GOLDEN performances are all..ok you know what? I'm about to go on a tangent & so I'm just going to devote an entire blog to the Awesome that is Downey.

I love the 90s you guys. I really wish that I was in my early 40s now so that I could have been in my 20s in the 90s. If I had been 23 in the 90s in LA it would be a totally different ball game. Probably not..I would have been wishing I could hang out with River Phoenix, Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, & Sean Penn at the Viper Room...I would never have the guts to actually do it though. bahahahahahah.

I am really psychotic with love for the music of Lady GaGa. Can we just talk about how badassly awesome she is??!! They call Britney the Queen of Pop..or is it Madonna..whatever..anyways...Lady GaGa is an actual ARTIST. She writes her own songs & even though they're all about boys & getting drunk & dancing she doesn't skirt around it!! She totally admits that that's EXACTLY what those songs are about. One of my biggest pet peeves are these idiot popstars who try to rationalize their mindless lyrics by saying that they're "empowering for women"...shut. up. Oops, I Did It Again is not empowering. It's got a catchy beat. Now put on the orange cat suit & DANCE MONKEY DANCE!!

Why is Russell Brand so sexy? I'm not questioning the fact. He just is. Does everyone feel this way or is it just me?

Part II: New Year, New Situations!!!

2009-01-28T01:10:00.000-08:00

It's 1:11am & I had two cups of coffee at Denny's on Sunset tonight. At this moment I'm distracted by the DeMille Manor across the street from my building because I can see directly into it. It's 4 stories tall & the third story has two windows that have no curtains...but there are these giant screens..like..MASSIVE TELEVISION SCREENS that are always turned on. I can the residents shadows over them as they walk back & forth & am constantly wondering why it's on 24 hours a day & why are the screens so big that they go across TWO whole windows!! Above those two windows are three smaller windows on the fourth story & they're always open as well. Inside the walls are painted this really magnificent cerulean blue & there are mismatched picture frames hanging everywhere. I have never seen anyone up there. There is no furniture & no apparent purpose for the room other than to A) taunt me with how cool it is or B) make the residents of that room feel really smug that they're making me so jealous.

I can safely say that this is the first point in my life where I have been truly happy. It's funny that this feeling should come now..now that everything in my life but myself is falling apart. HAahahhaha I am behind on every possible bill & need to come up with 600 dollars by the 1st lest I be evicted from my apartment. There are unpaid parking tickets, a giant pile of debt waiting for me & here I sit...completely happy with my home, with Los Angeles, my family, friends, & job. My parents, as supportive as they are, have told me on several occasions that they have an "exit strategy" in place should I be cast into the streets. So for the past 3 months I've been an unpaid bill & a phone call to my Dad away from forsaking all of this & moving back. What's weird is that I don't even struggle with the idea of moving. It's simply not an option for me. I'd sooner live in my car before moving back East. Granted, if it's what I'm supposed to do I'll do it...but I don't feel that way at all. In fact, this crazy poverty spell I'm having seems totally normal & I'm not afraid or freaked out by it. I just have this peace because I know that it will work out & could also be much, much worse.

Now, with my obsession to stay out here comes passion that's grown completely stagnant over the past year. I've become so overwhelmed with job hunts, job losses, money losses, unexpected car trouble, & blah blah blah that I've lost all creative spark & my writing has suffered SO much because of that. I have almost totally stopped writing in my "real life" journal.(something that has actually been remedied because Tina bought me the Skinny Bitchin' journal for Christmas!) I rarely have updated my blog or have finished many of the newer books I have. It's very easy for people to move to Los Angeles with huge dreams & lots of uncultivated talent. But then when they realize that bills still have to be paid & no, you cannot live on ramen noodles alone they get a dead end job & their lives become just as repetitive & miserable as it would have been if they'd never moved. The key here is to not let that happen. Why should I even be here if I'm making 10 bucks an hour at Barnes & Noble? At least if I were working at Barnes & Noble back East I would at least not have these insane money issues that I do now. Then I remember that I live in freaking Hollywood & that just BEING here is a major dream come true for me. When I was little it was something I fantasized about constantly & to waste what's been given to me is like flicking vinegar in God's face.

So instead of writing out lists of New Year's resolutions I just wanted to post this blog...because my only resolution is only to grow as a person over the next year, WRITE, & be able to really see that change by next year...oh, & to also become financially stable.

Part I: New Year, New President!

2009-01-03T18:27:00.001-08:00

I don't know what's made me so slack on the bloggage in these past few months. I think it's a combination of money stress, Oscar season, Christmas, Thanksgiving, a new job, new year, new president & all of that combined is farrrr too overwhelming to blog about on a regular basis when it gets all piled up. One of my resolutions is to write more because I want a record of what happens here in LA..and..in general..things that happen in my life. I've fallen way behind with my journaling as well & plan on fixing that. With that said, welcome to my New Year series! I was going to write just one big blog updating everything BUT I figured that would be really unreadable so I'm doing a few blogs so you can just...read as you get bored I guess.

So..January 20, 2009 we got a new president!!! On the 19th I closed at work, didn't get home until 1:30am or so, & then couldn't sleep. I woke up at 7am so I could watch the inauguration LIVE & that turned into an allll day event. At noon CNN said that Obama's term had officially started & it was such a surreal feeling. I'm not one of those people that looks at Obama as some kind of superman who's going to save us all...BUT...George W. Bush has been President of the USA since I was 15 YEARS OLD. Before that I had no interest or need of interest in politics. I've never had an administration other than the Bush administration & I'm SO excited to see the changeover take place.

From the swearing in to the inaugural balls I got to watch history happen live. I'm not an advocate of using race as a crutch or defining people by race but yesterday was a really incredible thing. I mean seriously you guys...a few decades ago African Americans couldn't drink out of the same water fountain as everyone else.

I loved Obama's speech & thought that he sounded more presidential & confident than he's ever sounded before. I really feel secure with the government in his hands. I thought it was so sweet that the Obamas escorted George & Laura Bush (no longer Mr. President!!!!!) to the helicopter that would take them back to Texas. They were laughing, smiling, & all gave each other hugs goodbye & I was really touched by that. When I saw Bush's farewell speech it just made me sad that so much of post-9/11 was just a downward spiral & that his entire reign was defined by such a stupid, stupid idea to invade Iraq. He really had the potential to do so much good & the country (not to mention the WORLD!!) was so supportive & then...Well, you can't go back & undo what's been done. I also think it's really cute that Bush left him a post-it on a letter he'd written Obama in the Oval Office & it had the number "44" on it.

I teared up during all of the inaugural ball dances because I just can't imagine how they must be feeling at that moment!! If I were Michelle Obama I'd feel like it was my wedding day all over again...and how much of a HUGE opportunity they've been given..and how many borders they've crossed..and glass ceilings they broke & Ahhhhhhh emoottiioonnss.

I thought their daughters looked ADORABLE & I was drooling over Malia's navy blue coat all day long..Michelle's ball gown was lovely & looked like half wedding dress-half Oscar gown. Rahm Emanuel..well..he just looked really hot & I'm hoping we get to see a lot of him in the coming years..I hope he, like, gives a speech or something.

Today is the first day on the job for Obama & I'm watching coverage on the news. Hillary Clinton has just been confirmed as Secretary of State & that makes me really happy. I think she'll do an awesome job & I'm thrilled that there's a woman who's proven herself SO MUCH who will be doing the international affairs work.

I finished The Audacity of Hope & transcribed a few of my favorite passages from it & have included them below...

"I began to harbor doubts about the path I had chosen; I began feeling the way I imagine an actor or athlete must feel when, after years of commitment to a particular dream, after years of waiting tables between auditions or scratching out hits in the minor leagues, he realizes that he's gone just about as far as talent or fortune will take him. The dream will not happen, and he now faces the choice of accepting this fact like a grownup and moving on to more sensible pursuits, or refusing the truth and ending up bitter, quarrelsome, and slightly pathetic."

"It's not simply that a gap exists between our professed ideals as a nation and the reality we witness every day. In one form or another, that gap has existed since America's birth. Wars have been fought, laws passed, systems reformed, unions organized, and protests staged to bring promise and practice into closer alignment. No, what's troubling is the gap between the magnitude of our challenges and the smallness of our politics-the ease with which we are distracted by the petty and trivial, our chronic avoidance of tough decisions, our seeming inability to build a working consensus to tackle any big problem."

"We know that the battle against international terrorism is at once an armed struggle and a contest of ideas, that our long term security depends on both a judicious projection of military power and increased cooperation with other nations, and that addressing the problems of global poverty and failed states is vital to our nation's interests rather than just a matter of charity. But follow most of our foreign policy debates, and you might believe that we have only two choices-belligerence or isolationism."

"A government that truly represents these Americans-that truly serves these Americans-will require a different kind of politics. That politics will need to reflect our lives as they are actually lived. It won't be prepackaged, ready to pull off the shelf. It will have to be constructed from the best of our traditions and will have to account for the darker aspects of our past. We will need to understand just how we got to this place, this land of warring factions and tribal hatreds. And we will need to remind ourselves, despite all our differences, just how much we share: common hopes, common dreams, a bond that will not break."

"I stopped thinking and slipped into cant: the point at which the denunciation of capitalism or American imperialism came too easily, and the freedom from the constraints of monogamy or religion was proclaimed without fully understanding the value of such constraints, and the role of victim was too readily embraced as means of shedding responsibility, or asserting entitlement, or claiming moral superiority over those not so victimized."

"Maybe the critics are right. Maybe there's no escaping our great political divide, an endless clash of armies, and any attempts to alter the rules of engagement are futile. Or maybe the trivialization of politics has reached a point of no return, so that most people see it as just one more diversion, a sport, with politicians our paunch-bellied gladiators and those who bother to pay attention just fans on the sidelines: We paint our faces red or blue and cheer our side and boo their side, and if it takes a later hit or cheap shot to beat the other team, so be it, for winning is all that matters. But I don't think so. They are out there, I think to myself, those ordinary citizens who have grown up in the midst of all the political and cultural battles, but who have found a way-in their own lives, at least-to make peace with their neighbors, and themselves. I imagine the white Southerner who growing up heard his dad talk about niggers this and niggers that but who has struck up a friendship with the black guys at the office and is trying to teach his own son different, who thinks discrimination is wrong but doesn't see why the son of a black doctor should get admitted into law school ahead of his own son.
Or the former Black Panther who decided to go into real estate, bought a few buildings in the neighborhood, and is just as tired of the drug dealers in front of those buildings as he is of the bankers who won't give him a loan to expand his business. There's the middle aged feminist who still mourns her abortion, and the Christian woman who paid for her teenager's abortion, and the millions of waitresses and temp secretaries and nurse's assistants and Wal-Mart associates who hold their breath every single month in the hope that they'll have enough money to support the children that they did bring into the world.
I imagine they are waiting for a politics with teh maturity to balance idealism and realism, to distinguish between what can and cannot be compromised, to admit the possibility that the other side might sometimes have a point. They don't always understand the arguments between right and left, conservative and liberal, but they recognize the difference between dogma and common sense, responsibility and irresponsibility, between those things that last and those that are fleeting.
They are out there, waiting for Republicans and Democrats-to catch up with them."

"That is one of the things that makes me a Democrat, I suppose-this idea that our communal values, our sense of mutual responsibility and social solidarity, should express themselves not just in the church or the mosque or the synagogue; not just on the blocks where we live, in the places where we work, or within our own families; but also through our government. Like many conservatives, I believe in the power of culture to determine both individual success and social cohesion, and I believe we ignore cultural factors at our peril. But I also believe that our government can play a role in shaping that culture for the better-or for the worse."

"And yet I find myself returning again & again to my mother's simple principle-'How would that make you feel?'-as a guidepost for my politics.
It is not a question we ask ourselves enough, I think: as a country, we seem to be suffering from an empathy deficit. We wouldn't tolerate schools that don't teach, that are chronically underfunded and understaffed and under inspired, if we thought that the children in them were like our children. It's hard to imagine the CEO of a company giving himself a multimillion dollar bonus while cutting health-care coverage for his workers if he thought they were in some sense his equals. And it's safe to assume that those in power would think longer & harder about launching a war if they envisioned their own sons & daughters in harm's way."

"In a sense, my dilemma with Mr. Keyes mirrors the broader dilemma that liberalism has faced in answering the religious right. Liberalism teaches us to be tolerant of other people's religious beliefs, so long as those beliefs don't cause anyone harm or impinge on another's right to believe differently. To the extent that religious communities are content to keep to themselves and faith is neatly confined as a matter of individual conscience, such tolerance is not tested."

"I recognize how often appeals to private virtue become excuses for inaction. Moreover, nothing is more transparent than inauthentic expressions of faith-such as the politician who shows up at a black church around election time and claps (off rhythm) to the gospel choir or sprinkles in a few biblical citations to spice up a thoroughly dry policy speech.
I am suggesting that if we progressives shed some of our own biases, we might recognize the values that both religious & secular people share when it comes to the moral & material direction of our country. We might recognize that the call to sacrifice on behalf of the next generation, the need to think in terms of "thou" & not just "I", resonates in religious congregations across the country. We need to take faith seriously not simply to block the religious right but to engage all persons of faith in the larger project of American renewal.
Some of this is already beginning to happen. Megachurch pastors like Rick Warren & T.D. Jakes are wielding their enormous influence to confront AIDS, Third World debt relief, & the genocide in Darfur. Self-described "progressive evangelicals" like Jim Wallis & Tony Campolo are lifting up the biblical injunction to help the poor as a means of mobilizing Christians against budget cuts to social programs & growing inequality. And across the country, individual churches like my own are sponsoring day-care programs,building senior centers, & helping ex-offenders reclaim their lives"

1 Year in Los Angeles...New Year, New Apartment, New Job...

2008-10-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

This is a couple of weeks late but I've been super busy with the move & just haven't had time to take pictures & post. Firstly, I have lived in Los Angeles for ONE YEAR!!!! It FLEW by. Everyone has told me that the first year is the hardest & I've survived a writer's strike & job losses & two months of unemployment & so I'm thinking this year can only get better. (I hope.)

It's incredibly to me how plunging head first into reality can really change your perspective on life & what you want. All the hardships as a person change who you are as well. I came out here wanting to plunge into writing & just be an artist all day. Bahahahahahaha, oh how the ignorant are..ignorant. Not only have I barely written a word in the past year but my every day reading has flown totally out the window. But with all the time I've spent working & figuring out the business I've realized what it is I don't want to do with my life, part of what I do still want to do with it, & one big desire of mine from the past came rearing its ugly head a few months ago & now I'm working up the courage to do that as well. (Acting.)

A few months ago the apartment where I was living in Sherman Oaks became a bit too small as my roommates & I decided that we were pretty much going in different directions & needed different things from a home. Brandi moved in with a friend of hers from college a little ways up from the apartment & Melissa & I settled on a studio in Hollywood. The studio is about half the size of our old place but ohmygosh how much do I love it!?!?!? Before I post pictures I would just like to emphasize that we do not live in the skanky part of Hollywood but in the insanely cute part of Hollywood up in the hills-ish area. You know all that greenery beneath the Hollywood sign? Yep. I totally live under the sign & to the right a few streets. I can walk to the Kodak Theatre & the Pantages. The view is spectacular (I feel like I live in the jungle) & it's so quiet out here. We can't even hear our neighbors unless they walk past our door. The other awesome thing? So far, they're all TOTALLY nice. The pictures I'm posting are mainly of everything outside of the apartment (views & such) because we're not finished unpacking. But once we get it all decorated I'll be sure to let you know.

view of the city from the fire escape!!

me against our brick wall! yes, we have a brick wall in our apartment & it's adorable

you can't see it in the picture because it's so dark but you can see the skyline of downtown, LA at night! (FYI, downtown, LA & HOllywood are two different places)

this is the elevator of death...or nuclear warfare. at any rate, it scares me so much that i take all 4 flights of stairs every day to avoid it.

we have a ledge beneath our gigantic windows where we're keeping all our books right now..the dilemma comes when I get the 7 boxes of other books of mine from Indiana..

View from the apartment at dawn!

view from the apartment at sunset!

view from the top of our stairs...we live four floors up...

our street at dark

In other news, the Santa Ana winds have kicked up & so fires are all over the Simi Valley. It's about 20 miles from where I live but it seriously screws up traffic. Last night at 8:30 on the 101 where I live it was backed up with evacuees....that never happens. The air smells disgusting & somebody died of smoke inhalation on the freeway yesterday. One of the athletes I worked with yesterday told me that you can see the flames from Mulholland Dr. above Studio City. Creeeeeppyy.

For some reason this year I have fallen in love with autumn. I've never been much of an autumn person but I just cannot get over the LIGHT changes in this season. I love the way that the lights falls at dusk & how cold it is when you wake up in the morning. I'm also way over it being light out at 8:30pm. I'm super excited about Thanksgiving this year as I have decided to (just to see if I can) make a massive Thanksgiving feast all by myself & from scratch. I just...want to see...if I can. Hahahahahahha

I'm at a point in my life where I'm becoming more & more aware of my strengths & weaknesses & what exactly I have to do to be happy. This year I'm going to take the plunge & read more, which will stimulate my brain & creative side to write, get into writing & acting classes, & I have a very unrealistic but fun goal of seeing if I can somehow get into SAG by this time next year. I worked in a casting office all day yesterday & it was really cool to see that whole process. I'd like to do it more actually because now I see a lot of what happens & what behavior directors/producers love in the audition room. I'm still at a place where I don't think I'll ever have just one career in my life. As much as I would love that security I don't think I'm designed for it & there are SOOO many things I want to do in the world!! So, I either need to grow out of this in the next few years before I can no longer use my age as an excuse for being so scattered or just keep following wherever my heart ends up pointing me. As scary & annoying as that tends to be.

Any advice Real Life Adult Readers?

I, too, grow increasingly adorable when cornered.

2008-10-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

This blog won't be nearly as fervent & feverish as the blog I wrote last week on the Presidential Debates. Last night the VP Debates aired & I was honestly expecting to see an awkward display of loud sentence structure while Joe Biden ate Sarah Palin alive at the podium.

I sat at my computer with the tv on while they started. Apparently, Biden & Palin had never officially met until that point. As they came out onstage they shook hands & I heard Palin loudly say,"Nice to meet you! May I call you Joe??" Overall, anyone waiting for the fists to come out with this one was sorely disappointed. The two candidates were incredibly polite to one another & the mudslinging never sounded like mudslinging it was more like,"No, no...let me correct you on this." I wish ALL politicians knew how to talk to one another this way.

What I LOVED about this debate was how well-informed both parties were. McCain & Obama just talked a lot. With Biden & Palin I was given INFORMATION & FACTS about what's going on. Biden is a man-sized encyclopedia Brittanica loaded with bullets & believe me, Palin's way of putting political jargon into layman's terms is going to get the McCain ticket a helluva a lot of votes. Both parties were also very honest about where they stood on issues & why. They both completely agree on gay marriage & I was just floored by the integrity they displayed by speaking out. They didn't dance around the issue or pander to any particular group. Both of them spoke from the heart & said things that both far-left liberals & the religious right would be pissed off about. They never backed down once & I applaud them both for that. Straight-up honesty will get you SO far with me. Even if I disagree on the issue. My trust is not easily won but once it's there you'll have it unwavering 100%. So much of what they talked about was straight from the heart as well. Both Biden & Palin have suffered severe hardship in their family lives & the war in Iraq is a sore spot for both of them as their own children are over there right now. I also loved that every time one of them would speak the other would fire back with dates, facts, & solutions & then it would happen again & again. THAT is what I want to see in the White House. Someone who KNOWS what's going on.

What I HATED...not too much actually. I really wish Sarah Palin would stop talking about Alaska like it's Pleasantville or Stepford. I also wish she'd cut the habit of skirting around some questions so she can inadvertently talk about something else instead of actually answering. (I'd just like to make it clear that I also hate the way Obama talks & talks & talks about change but rarely gives any details on how he's going to make that happen. Just leveling the playing field here, people.) The other thing I hated was that anchor on C-Span who, as the debate ended, said that the Republican party must be so relieved that Sarah Palin didn't make an embarassment of herself tonight. I'll get to that next.

Thoughts on Sarah Palin:
I am not someone who demonizes politicians. Unless you are completely corrupt & murdering your people & taking away all civil rights then I am not going to hate you. Also, I'd like to say that I have very little respect for people who DO demonize politicians & harp on reasons of why they don't like this person when usually their candidate is doing the EXACT same thing. Just be warned...I will make my goal to belittle you like a drunk grandmother to the grandkids she sees once every five years if you start that crap with me. Use. Your. Head.

I can't help but love watching Palin. She's so down to earth & quirky in that adorable hot housewife-with-so-much-power-and-you-know-she-loves-it-way. I feel like when she talks I'm watching her host a cooking show on the Food Network. "Ah...hahahhaah, No Joe. Don't put the chicken in the bag YET I said. You have to mix all of the marinade up first. :::cute chuckle::" Sarah Palin makes for some amazing SNL material. There is no doubt about that. I love her for the simple fact that I get to see Tina Fey (one of my most favorite people on the PLANET ever) on SNL every week playing her flawlessly. I don't like it when people start calling her stupid & implying that she'll be "an embarassment." Yes, the interview she did with Katie Couric was really difficult to watch. It's no secret that Palin is going to have to do some serious studying about what involves the United States besides energy & Alaskan tee-ball. But last night, y'all, she went up against a guy with DECADES of intense experience who I would probably be really intimidated by. She held her own & not only did not embarass herself but she earned a lot of respect. I can't bash Sarah Palin & I almost hate to say why...Ok...I will. Other minorities have been doing it for CENTURIES so I'm going to stand on my soap box right now & just say it: I'm not going to bash Sarah Palin because she is a woman. (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.) But it's the truth. When she gets up there & speaks & makes points that I love I feel really proud. I felt the same way with Hillary. This is the first time that America has really had two qualified female politicians standing up to scary old men & holding their own & people are actually supporting them!!!! I APPLAUD THAT, LADIES.

I truly do not believe that Sarah Palin has what it takes to be in the White House right now. At some point in the future, yes. But she said it herself, she is an outsider in Washington. She's also a little too gun-happy for my taste. (Gah! And I keep forgetting that she has a son in Iraq, Juno is her daughter, & she has a Downs baby. HOW is she going to handle all of these things & an exec position in Washington?) But you will never, EVER find me bashing Sarah Palin because what she's doing is pretty historic & I'm quite proud of the American Female because of it.

Thoughts on Joe Biden...
(You guys....I love this man...)
EVERY time he opened his mouth last night I kept thinking,"I wish you & Obama would just like...switch places...teach him all the ropes, introduce him to Scary World Leaders, soften the blow a bit & THEN let him be president." He is so well-spoken & not only that but he has SO much experience AND I agree with him on everything....AND...he knows SO much & gives facts, details, & plans on EVERYTHING instead of just blabbing on about how we need reform. DETAILS YOU SAY? (Biden will come to the rescue...he knows everything.) One of my big issues is that I love foreign policy. I am fascinated by interactions that the US has with other countries. Mainly because I see them as actual people instead of a case of the Bad Guys vs. the Good Guys. I'm finishing the book "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid" by Jimmy Carter & am just eating it up. The man would play with the children with some of the leaders in the world that the US would deem as "evil" & then he'd sit there & discuss peace with them. I love the heart of that man. I truly do. I remember being ecstatic when Bush & Putin sat down & shook hands right after 9/11 & had a big talk about how relations were going so well between them & even though they had their differences they at least had each other's respect. (I'm pointing at you, Bush, for screwing that one up.) Putin would stare holes of fire into Obama of that I am convinced. (Sorry, I keep harping on about Russia. You know how I love it so.) And then there's Biden...I think Obama should bring Biden as his wing man wherever he goes...Putin & Biden could totally get into a staring contest & then call it a draw & end the evening with some stoli in a chilled tumbler over a game of chess. (This is how I imagine in my head that foreign policy works...at least it's how Catherine the Great did it..)

Soo...back at square 1...well..not really. I pretty much am leaning in a direction where it concerns who I'm voting for but I'm not making any promises yet. There are more debates & more blogs to come!!

Please discuss...and if you left a comment on my last blog I replied!!!!

Dear America, I TOO have a bracelet...

2008-09-28T16:38:00.000-07:00

Since my freshman year of college when I began to think for myself & really pay attention to social issues & politics I have looked forward to the pending chapters of America after 9/11 & the invasion of Iraq. My own political stance is pretty liberal. I have a big heart for giving aid to countries in distress, support gay marriage, think that health care needs a big ol' kick in the ass, & am pissed about the totally random "war" in Iraq.

So where are we? We have four people...two of them will be the leaders of the free world & the next 4-8 years are going to be SO crucial to where the world goes.

Obama & Biden
McCain & Palin

I'm writing this to proclaim that even though I'm a registered democrat, I am one of those people who will be totally undecided until I walk up to the little kiosk with the touch screen on Election Day. And then, even then, I'll probably end up doing eeny-meeny-miny-mo. Then I'll feel guilty for doing that & so I'll close my eyes, spin around a few times & just start poking the screen at random until I hear the "beep" & will run away fast.

Duh, I've been a shoe-in for an Obama follower for YEARS. The man gives good, nay, MIND-BLOWING speech, I must say. When he steps up to a podium my heart explodes because I think,"OMG. FINALLY, a politician who GETS it!" He stands for change & progression & I love that. We NEED that. Wait for it...

BUT. I saw Obama in the Democratic debate last year when it started in South Carolina. Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, & others were there. I watched at the Obama rally/party in North Charleston & even though we were learning cheers, waving signs, & were so excited to meet him, watching the actual debate was painful. He had some good ideas but couldn't hold his own up against Clinton & the others. He let them trample over him & I just remember writing it off as, "Well, this is his first time & this is an enormous amount of pressure so it'll get better as the process goes on." He arrived a few hours later, gave an AMAZING speech per usual & again, I was thrilled to have this guy working for our country.

Over the course of this summer I've shed tears over his speeches & after leaving my allegiance to Hillary I was thrilled that he got the Democratic nomination. I had debates with my (republican) parents all planned out because these next four years mean CHANGE & that is awesome to me.

John McCain got the Republican nomination & then chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. (The only thing I love about that is the fact that Tina Fey is now making regular appearances as her on SNL.) I saw McCain's speech at the Republican National Convention & was floored by how OLD he seemed. He's a horrible speech giver & I relished in the glory of Obama once more.

Then there was a slight change...

The first round of debates was this past Friday night. It was...um...eye opening? I know that a lot of people are saying that Obama won the debate but I actually disagree. It was painful watching him go up against McCain. McCain can't give good speech but DAMN the man knows his stuff & there is NO denying that. He was so calm, collected, & confident that he made off-handed jokes throughout. Not only did he answer each question honestly but he did it thoroughly & EXPLAINED details of every idea. I'm sorry to say that Obama...did not. When it came to foreign policy & dealing with people like Putin McCain had already met these people & had dealt with them for years. (I disagree a bit on how anti-Russia he is, but I won't go into that right now..) All Obama had to offer was that his father was born in Kenya. He got flustered a few times & almost copped an attitude...my roommate put it best when she said that Obama was coming across as a snotty teenager trying to have a fight with his dad.

When I think about Obama going up against someone as strong, brilliant, & badass as Vladimir Putin it makes my skin CRAWL. What is he going to do?

Obama: "Uh, Mr. Putin? Would you mind please stop randomly attacking Georgia?"
::::Putin stares him down with his creepy shark eyes::::
Obama: "Oookkkkaayyy...cool. Another time then. I'lll just..have some more borscht."

I am not one of these people who votes according to party. I'm not just going to side with someone just because they're a democrat or because they're a woman or because I like their Tina Fey glasses. That's just not me. I have to be informed. I won't do something or believe anything just because someone tells me to. That kind of attitude leads to complete stupidity & makes me want to punch both religious zealots & McCain demonizers alike in the face.

I will say this once. Thinking about Obama dealing with North Korea, Iran, Iraq, China, & Russia scares me just as much as the War in Iraq. So what the hell does that mean? If this job entailed Obama only working in the US I'd say GO FOR IT with flying colors & a huge smile on my face. He would do so much good for this country. But unfortunately, the job, as it stands, does not mean that at all. We've dug ourselves into a 13 foot deep grave with financial ruin & a ridiculous war & have now hit water that is quickly rising to our heads. And I, quite frankly, am thinking that I might not want a man in office who engages in the most immature conversation I have ever seen in a presidential debate:

McCain: I met a woman at an airport (blah blah blah Iraq veteran was her son) & promised her that I would wear his bracelet with honor & would not let his death be in vain.

Obama:(indignantly) Well, I...have a bracelet too. (blah blah blah Iraq veteran's mom made him promise that no other mothers would have to suffer the way she did)

NEWSFLASH SENATOR OBAMA. IT'S CALLED WAR. PEOPLE DIE. IT SUCKS. But I would just like to let you know that you will not be able to make that promise. No one can. Because young men & women die every day whether or not they are in combat. They get cancer, they get into car accidents, they commit suicide. There are parents everywhere who are grieving horribly over lost children & quite frankly, Mr. McCain's promise sounds a helluva lot more viable than yours & I'm still pissed that you even decided to "level the playing field" by proclaiming that you have a bracelet too. We ALL have bracelets. And strategically, this idea you have that immediately withdrawing all troops from Iraq is the FIRST thing you will do when getting into office is idiotic. Yes, get them out soon. But all at once? I think not. Hillary had it right with this one. Just because the ladies who host The View squealed over this idealistic proclamation does not mean it's a 'go ahead' from America to do it. We should have never gone over there in the first place. But we're there now & we have to deal with the mess we've gotten ourselves into. Withdrawing troops immediately is not going to erase all the damage that has been done. We need a plan that will attempt to REDEEM ourselves. Not pretend like it never happened.

The paradox is this...I think Joe Biden is totally qualified & a bona fide ass kicker. Miss Sarah "I can see Russia from my house!" Palin...not so much. Amy Poehler as Diane Sawyer on SNL put it best: "Mrs. Palin, is it true that when cornered you becoming increasingly more adorable?" Scare-ah Palin is not my favorite. So if I vote McCain it means I'm voting Palin...& I do NOT want Sarah Palin to be president if something happens to McCain. If I vote for Obama then I have the immediate security of the awesome Joe Biden if something happens to Barack...but I also have the potential of 4 years of a guy who can barely hold his old own against a kindly, elderly politician with a rocking sense of humor...WHAT is he going to do when faced with terrorists & a hot ex-KGB officer?!

Ugh. I am so torn. Because I know the vice presidential debate is going to go totally the opposite. Biden is going to pulverize Palin & then where will I be?

I would really love to know your thoughts on this.

And just to prove I'm still a bleeding heart liberal I have composed this letter:

Dear People Who Think That We Are In Iraq Because Bin Laden & Hussein Were In Cahoots Together For 9/11,

Read a book. Take a history class. Rock that Google search. SOMETHING. Because if you do, you will find that Saddam Hussein & Osama Bin Laden HATED each other with a fiery passion. Hussein despised religious zealots & his WHOLE deal with the Iraqi genocide was against religious zealots. He tracked down Bin Laden's people & MURDERED them. I think the mix-up lies where people tend to think that the Middle East is just one big country where everybody is alike...they hate women, chop off appendages at random, & want to bomb everybody. But I would just like to tell you that if you really want to have people listen to your political beliefs you should realize that the Middle East is composed of several different countries, with several different histories, cultures, religions, wars, leaders & attitudes towards the world. When we have the internet, libraries, tons of schools, & freedom of speech at our fingertips there is NO EXCUSE for being uninformed in this age. It's not ignorance anymore. It's stupidity. You're just not taking advantage of what's in front of you.

Many WMD's,

Laura

And one more thing that's been bugging me...

Dear David Letterman,

Shut. Your. Face. You're not funny & the fact that you're so terribly offended that McCain canceled on you is incredibly ridiculous. The fact that you have people out there now saying,"If he can't show up at this then what other important events will he skip out on?" is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have EVER heard. (Apparently, the liberal side has a bunch of dumb asses too.) John McCain has every right to cancel on your LATE NIGHT COMEDY TALK SHOW in lieu of interviewing with Katie Couric instead. If I were him I'd do the same thing. Katie Couric=Professional Journalism During a Campaign for Presidency. David Letterman=A So-So Comic Who Should Actually Be Fired Instead of Jay Leno Because He's Kind of a Jerk & Not That Funny.

I Went to Ball State Too,

Laura

PLEASE DISCUSS!!! :)

Weight Loss-The Office Season Premiere Review

2008-09-27T16:37:00.000-07:00

The season premiere of The Office was this week & even though I slacked off significantly on my reviewing last year I've decided to hop back on the wagon this year.

"Weight Loss" was directed by Paul Feig & written by Gene Stupnitsky & Lee Eisenberg. Usually each new season skips right over summer & picks up in real time. This year it's not the case...we're being taken week by week throughout the summer. I guess it's to show what happens with Jim & Pam while Pam's away at art school in New York.

This episode is all about a weight loss challenge being put on by Dunder Mifflin. Phyllis has been made the president of the Party Planning Committee after blackmailing Angela after catching her & Dwight having sex in last season's finale. Andy & Angela are planning their wedding. Angela & Dwight are having an affair periodically in the warehouse closet at the office. Michael & Jan are still close & Michael has an obvious crush on Holly & she really likes him in return. We see in this episode what a huge dork Holly is (and totally endearing about it). Kelly is doing the "master cleanse" & is absolutely killing herself over it. Ryan is found by Michael through the temp agency so he has Pam's job now...and is once again...Ryan the Temp & is also attempting to win Kelly back. I'm not sure I trust him at all just yet. Jim is visiting Pam in New York on the weekends & she's working as an RA in the dorm at school.

My thoughts?

I'm wondering in my head once & for all where the show has gone. "Fun Run" was so over the top & drawn out that I just wanted the craziness to stop & just have it be concise & funny per usual. "Weight Loss" is quite possibly the most sedate episode of the entire series. I mean, sure, it was funny but there were no great comedic moments. No new catchphrases. No falling off the couch laughing at something totally inane that Dwight did. It totally lacked the momentum that every season premiere & finale of the entire history of the series has had. It honestly felt like I was watching a series of not-that-funny deleted scenes on an extras DVD. I also keep mentally writing letters to the show asking them to STOP having Dwight & Angela have this ludicrous affair in the office. They go something like this...

Dear The Powers That Be at NBC's The Office,

Please stop watching Grey's Anatomy before producing episodes of the show. Apparently it's a bad influence as in REAL LIFE characters like Angela & Dwight would never do something so out of bounds as having sex in the warehouse ESPECIALLY while Angela is engaged. In fact, this storyline is SO kitsch & formulaic that I am just going to convince myself that you have something ingenious planned to overthrow it towards the end of this particular story arch.

A Handful of Colored Paperclips,

Laura the Blogger Formerly Known As Fancy New Beesly

P.S. In real life no college student would ever stay in the WRONG class they'd wandered into on the first day of school just because a professor snapped at them. They would leave & get their MONEY'S worth by finding the right class & attending IT instead. Please stop watching Ugly Betty & Hannah Montana before producing anymore episodes.

The stuff I looovvveeeddd... :)

This episode had two saving graces & they go by the names of Holly Flax & Surprise Proposal!!

Amy Ryan is my new favorite thing about The Office. Holly is adorable, a total dork, perfect for Michael & such a sweetheart. Unfortunately, I know she's gone by the 6th or so episode so I have a feeling Michael royally screws up & she gets her heart broken...and THAT my friends...makes me about almost as sad as the presidential election. Almost.

Surprise proposal!!! Ok. So when Jim announced that they were not getting engaged because Pam didn't want a long engagement I immediately saw the foreshadowing of a break up. She'd go to New York...flirt with Mr. Classmate of Hers...and then something would happen where they would not get engaged. But in the grand style that makes the show so totally magnetic...Jim decides to "have lunch" with Pam & meets her at a rest stop off the interstate. It's raining outside & they run to meet each other & he gets down on one knee, says "I don't want to wait." & then asks to marry her. She nods yes, I get all choked up, & then Jim picks her up, twirls her around, & both of them suddenly turn EXTRA HOT as the wind & rain blows through their hair & I decide to forgive this nauseating display of Nicholas Sparksishness because it was so fabulously executed. And I just LOVE a good surprise ending. :)

So, there's my review. I'm really looking forward to this season...this whole year actually...the last time The Office aired a premiere it was my first week in LA & the first week in my apartment in Sherman Oaks. Now the first week it premieres is my LAST week in my apartment in Sherman Oaks before I move to Hollywood. No writer's strike this year (and hopefully no actor's strike) so I've got some high hopes for this next year. :)

THOUGHTS?!?!

What dreams may come.. (Part 1,235,657)

2008-09-13T09:31:00.001-07:00

It is no secret that I have some pretty consistent & creepy dreams.

I lucid dream (where you are aware that you're dreaming & can control your actions in the dream) on a regular basis. I also dream where I wake up (in the dream) & am still in bed & think,"Oh, that was just a dream." but in reality I'm STILL dreaming. So then there's that freaked out "reality" because I start lucid dreaming...REALLY believing that I'm actually awake & then all havoc ensues. One time people were hiding in my closet, a guy broke into the house & I could only hear his footsteps & see his shadows.

Since Ramadan began I have slept phenomenally well. I've been going to bed early & just falling straight to sleep without any interruption until I wake up in the morning. It's been amazing because it's usually difficult for me to get a good night sleep. I'm not someone who can just fall asleep at the drop of a hat or on airplanes or take random naps during the day. It's also rare that I sleep late.

All has been well until last night when I had one of the most creepy & realistic dreams I have EVER had. It was chock full of metaphor & weirdness parallel universes & I fully intend on researching it. I am a firm believer that dreams can be just random synapses firing off in your brain, your sub-conscious trying to work something out, or even something from God.

So. Here it goes.

It was some kind of parallel reality set in the future. Not too far, just a few years, but definitely the future. My family & I were on vacation to go to the past. I would be visiting my old high school (Hamilton Southeastern..I went to three of them.) I walked into the school & looked exactly as I did my senior year there. The look hadn't changed all that much. Except for some reason the government (the federal one) was very different & there was a certain class that the students were required to take.

So I went to this class & was told to sit in a very specific chair. The classroom was in a lecture style so there was a huge stage down in front. All of the teachers from the school were there & sitting in the first two rows. A door on the side of the stage opened & 15 students filed in. They were all boys. They lined up in 3 rows of 5 on the stage. The teachers stood up & walked to the front of the class where there was a table covered in various types of guns. They each grabbed a gun & fired once at random at the group of students on the stage. The ones who were not hit just kept standing there. The ones who were hit & died instantly were just left on the floor. The ones who were hit but were just severely injured (one guy was shot in the stomach & I remember the blood spurting out) were told to leave. They were allowed to go to the nurse assuming they made it there alive. The teachers stood up once again, pulled out their guns & fired at random. The same thing happened again. But this time if there was anyone who wasn't hit they were allowed to survive until the next day when it might happen to them again. Throughout the dream I never found out the selection process of these guys was. All I knew was that while I was sitting in my desk I knew that I wasn't up there because I was 1) female & 2) white. There was a girl sitting next to me (one who I actually went to high school with, named Lynda) who kept saying that soon it would start happening to the girls too. It was this kind of ethnic cleansing/genocide ordeal that was going on (totally legally) in all the high schools in America.

I left the class as soon as I could & made my way towards the auditorium where I saw that they were setting up stage for a play. I got really excited & wanted to see my old theatre teacher so I started wandering around backstage trying to find her. Someone told me that she was working on stage. I saw these two guys...they were identical twins who were tall with red hair dressed in matching blue Knight outfits. They were sword fighting in front of the doors that lead to the stage & I decided to just turn around & go find my parents. Then I realized..."I'm not in high school anymore..there's no reason to be scared or insecure around these guys as I'm over a decade older than them now." I walked up to them & asked to squeeze through so that I could get to the stage. They both smiled at me & then began this weird Alice In Wonderlandish riddle where they would open a door for me & then as I would go to walk through it they would slam it in my face. Then they'd dart back & forth & open other doors, telling me that THIS was the one I was supposed to go through to get to the stage. They were totally maniacal & starting to creep me out so I just gave up & left.

I headed back outside where my entire family was watching some kind of event & sitting on bleachers. I sat in the middle of my two sisters waiting for whatever it was to begin. I looked to my right at my younger sister who was in a bathing suit & SO sunburnt that her skin almost looked leather. On top of that she had these leprous sores all over her legs that were making them disfigured. I looked at her & said, "Abby, you seriously need to put some clothes on. LOOK AT YOU. You are WAY too tan & are going to get sick." Then my older sister said, "Laura, look at YOU!" So I looked at my legs & realized I was wearing a red, white, & blue bikini top with white shorts & my legs, stomach, & arms were COVERED in oozing, festering cuts, sores, & boils. I was totally perplexed by this & then started to get the creepy eerie dream feeling again. The crowds started to fill in the bleachers & they were ALL decked out in sparkly red, white, & blue outfits. The children were wearing crazy hats & the adults were carrying balloons. School had apparently let out because the teachers (the ones who had done the shootings) were carrying their guns & came into the stands to sit down. The creepiest part were the enormous grins everyone had on their faces.

We didn't have time to watch what it was that we'd gathered there to see because my dad announced we'd be going to my aunt & uncle's for dinner. I figured that we were going to a beach house to see my mom's family so I didn't bother changing clothes. But then we got on this train/elevator thing & my dad announced that we were actually going to a hotel/casino to have dinner with my aunt & uncle on HIS side of the family. I got really upset because I was wearing beach clothes & wanted to look nice. I told them that I would go back to the place we were staying to get new clothes while they waited for my aunt & uncle to arrive. There was this woman who was with us. I was related to her somehow (really distantly). (By the way, I have NO idea who this woman was. I have never seen her before in my life.) She was in her early 30s & had massive frizzy, gross, dried out blonde hair & was really unattractive. She looked like she'd used all kinds of drugs recently & had a very fragile, small voice when she spoke. As I started to make my way towards the door she announced that she wasn't up for being social & was going to leave as well. She asked if she could ride in the train with me back to the hotel. I said it was fine & then she started talking. I tuned her out for most of it but then she started suggesting we buy alcohol & drink a lot when we got back. I told her I'd be coming right back to eat with my parents so that was a no-go. Then she looked at me & said,"You'll probably want to bang me too, right?" She was looking at me with these creepy, passive eyes with total manipulation in her voice & I suddenly just started shaking because I was so afraid. This woman who I hardly knew & who my parents apparently trusted was making PASSES at me. I made a bee-line for the door & told her that I wouldn't be leaving to change clothes after all. As she started to reply, my mom grabbed my arm & pulled me down to her on the couch. She had this look on her face like mothers do when they're totally freaked out & angry & protective about something at the same time. She began to whisper loudly in my ear but I couldn't understand a word of what she said. I pulled back from her & she was still just looking straight into my eyes with that same expression on her face. And it was over.

I woke up & felt like I'd just had some insane type of experience. I didn't let myself go back to sleep for an hour because I wanted all traces of that dream out of me. But then this morning I remembered every single detail...as you can plainly see.

Thoughts, anyone?

No matter, the road is life...

2008-08-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion."
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

While compiling a to-do list for Kim's visit to Los Angeles we both decided that a road trip to San Francisco was in order. I then added that since we were going that far north we may as well trek 65 more miles & visit a vineyard/winery in Sonoma. I started the research & discovered that taking the 5 from Sherman Oaks to San Fran could be done in about 5-6 hours but there was also another option. The Pacific Coast Highway/the PCH aka Highway 1 stretches along literally the bottom of the coast of California up to San Francisco. It also served as the final inspiration for Jack Kerouac's "On the Road." Kim & I started budgeting, figuring out gas, mileage, hotel costs, etc... & figured we would be gone for maybe 2 days.

That was about as far as we got. We knew certain things we would like to do & the ultimate destinations & I constantly called her so we could "plan" the entire trip minute by minute but that ultimately lead us to discuss other things like boys & high school & whatever else could distract us. We were both (I say were but still are) at a point in our lives where I guess there's a sense of expectation to KNOW what we want & make an adult decision about it & the only thing to help along the process was to remove ourselves from our normal surroundings & go on some kind of a pilgrimage.

"They have worries, they're counting the miles, they're thinking about where to sleep tonight, how much money for gas, the weather, how they'll get there--and all the time they'll get there anyway, you see."
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

Kim arrived in Los Angeles & we decided that 9am Friday morning would be a good starting point. Around 10:30am we were at Burger King marveling the Whopper that they serve ALL day (even through breakfast!!)& finally got started. We decided to take the fast way up to San Francisco & then make some kind of lodging decision once we got there. Whenever the question of "What the hell are we doing?" came up we threw our hands into the air Jew-style & yelled,"ADVENTUUURRRE!!!!!!!"

We merged onto the 5 & I was so thankful for A) the carpool lane B)the lack of traffic & C) cruise control!!!! I was told by several people that the drive up the 5 to San Fran is completely boring & devoid of Awesome. But as California's landscape never ceases to amaze me/weird me out Kim & I both realized we had been sucked into some kind of twilight zone. I honestly wish I'd had more pictures of what we saw. Kim took some so I'll post them once I get them from her.

I'll describe it the best I can.

Once you leave LA County you arrive in the Sahara desert. It is a WASTELAND of sandy hills. It is genuine Steinbeck country.

A couple more hours passed & Kim pointed out there there were a lot of cows in a pasture by the road....a lot of cows turned into a MILE of cattle ranch. It was INSANE. I have never seen so many cows in my life.

An hour or so after the cattle happened we saw trucks hauling tomatoes...DOZENS of trucks hauling tomatoes along the interstate.

I decided to pull off so we could get gas & we arrived in the strangest town in America. There was a gas station on one side of the road. On the other side of the road was a Carl's Jr. (Hardees for you East Coasters) Beside that was a massive WINDMILL that looked like it was straight out of Pennsylvania..or Holland. Attached to the windmill was a sign that said "Pea Soup Anderson's." There was NOTHING else in sight except the interstate & more desert for miles. But Carmen had told me about this place & as we were both starving we decided to stop for lunch. This place is like a Dutch Cracker Barrel. We both ordered their world famous split pea soup & salad & wondered if we were ever going to make it back home since we'd obviously traveled through some kind of time/space continuum.

We began driving again, listening to various episodes of This American Life. San Francisco was only 2 hours away at this point & then...my car started pulling to the right. Not really pulling...but every couple of seconds would nearly swerve into the other lane. Since I was averaging about 80 mph I decided to pull over to make sure I didn't have a flat tire. God forbid we go hurtling to our deaths & be one of "THOSE GIRLS" who disappear on a road trip to NoCal while traveling through the time/space warp to get there.

Sidenote: I just discovered that Kim left the amazing mint chocolate ice cream oreos that she bought here!!!!!!! Dear Kim, I am eating them. Love, Laura

I pulled over to the side of the road & attempted to open my car door. I got it to open about 8 inches when it was SLAMMED shut...by what? The wind. Kim braved the (probably) nuclear toxic air, saw that the tires were fine, & got back in the car where I declared that the time/space warp had landed us on the moon.

"It seemed like a matter of minutes when we began rolling in the foothills before Oakland and suddenly reached a height and saw stretched out ahead of us the fabulous white city of San Francisco on her eleven mystic hills with the blue Pacific and its advancing wall of potato-patch fog beyond, and smoke and goldenness of the late afternoon of time."
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

The above passage PERFECTLY describes what driving into San Francisco is like. As we exited Oakland & approached the city I was totally struck with how beautiful it was. The ocean was SO still & reminded me of driving over the old Cooper River Bridges in winter when the water is like a mirror early in the morning. There was fog coming in & I shrieked, "I feel like we've been in a game of Candy Land all day & just got out of the Molasses Pit & are now in the Kingdom by the Sea!!!!"

We were convinced that the bridge we were about to drive over was the Golden Gate Bridge. My hands started to sweat & my stomach was all dark & twisty because images of a documentary on the San Francisco earthquake where it made the bridge go BACK & FORTH & SIDE to SIDE kept popping into my head & I was so not up for plummeting into the foggy abyss. Even more frightening was the inevitable conversation I would have to have with Ford Motor Credit, USAA, & my father for why my car had mysteriously drowned if I survived the fall. After screaming at my fellow drivers to "GO FASTER. GO OVER THIS BRIDGE BEFORE THERE IS AN EARTHQUAKE AND WE PERISH!! KIM. I AM SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT." She would then reply in a tone that can only be described as "burlap sack": "Really."

We crossed & I realized that we had indeed gone over the Bay Bridge & not the Golden Gate Bridge. I only wanted to SEE it. I did not want to physically risk my life on it. Kim promptly popped my hope balloon by stating that when we left San Francisco we would most definitely have to drive over the GG Bridge.

We parked on Lombard St. & started wandering throughout the Financial District right next to Chinatown. The weather in San Francisco is really something that you have to see & feel to believe. It is the only time in my life that I have literally been creeped out by the atmosphere. It was in the late 50s when we arrived & progressively grew colder & windier as the night wore on. After we had dinner (an adorable restaurant called Annabelle's Bar & Bistro) we saw the fog rolling in. It quite literally ROLLS..and DESCENDS from the sky... It curled around the skyscrapers & looked like one of the photographs from 9/11 right after the towers fell & that massive cloud chased everyone out of Manhattan. Watching this triggered the phrase that we repeated SEVERAL times during the trip: "We are NEVER going to escape this city."

We found a hotel about 45 minutes away from Sonoma & an hour from San Francisco to stay at for the night. As we were going to be driving over the GG Bridge in the foggy darkness of death I told Kim that she had to drive lest I die of fright. Driving over the Cooper River/Ravenel bridges in Charleston at night has never been an issue for me. It's all lit up & beautiful. You can see the water & stars. In San Francisco? I think not. The car was DEVOURED in the fog of death & there was no way we could tell that the bridge had started or ended aside from my incessant squealing about it from the passenger seat.

The Best Western we chose to stay at totally exceeded our expectations. It was cheap & adorable & Receptionist With Unfortunate Teeth was quickly added to Kim & I's VIP list of BFFs to invite to our BFF party. bv

"The stars bent over the little roof; smoke poked from the stovepipe chimney. I smelled mashed beans and chili. The old man growled... A California home; I hid in the grapevines, digging it all. I felt like a million dollars; I was adventuring in the crazy American night."
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

Sonoma.

Taking advantage of the continental breakfast at the hotel set us on our way towards Sonoma around 11am. I felt like I was slowly being seduced by California the entire drive up there. The hills, occasional cows, farms, vineyards, antique bridges, & downtown areas totally devoid of any tourist facades were SO Steinbeckian it was almost unbearable. I almost wanted to go ask someone if they knew where Kate Trask's brothel was & if she was into having tea with strangers.

Our destination was the Ravenswood winery & I'm going to take this moment to put the rumor I started to rest: NO. I did not hit a pedestrian. I was turning right. She decided to walk into my car. Then she angrily turned around & yelled,'THANKS for HITTING me with your car!!" I was like,"Um...you're welcome? I could do it again if you wanted me to?" Kim's open mouth & blank stare told me that I should keep my mouth shut & keep driving.

The wine tasting was wonderful & I can't wait to go back & visit other vineyards to do more. I safely drove back (without any rude Sonomian pedestrians abusing my car) & we decided that we HAD to walk around the downtown area of Sonoma. The only other downtown that I've been so charmed by is Charleston. Every little boutique offers glasses of local wine. There is a HUGE Indian population there & every store was chock full of imports from India. Kim pointed out that there was a Himalayan restaurant & since Indian is our trademark food that we always get we had to try it. We had chicken in a tomato curry with onions & naan & beer. The service was wonderful & it was obviously an authentic place. If you're ever in Sonoma you MUST try "Taste of the Himalayas." It's in the downtown area which is so small that you'll easily find it if you just walk around for a few minutes.

We stopped in a used book store & I bought a copy of "Little Children" (I've been dying to read it since I saw the movie) & then found ANOTHER rare & used book store across the street. We sat in the back room & Kim looked through a Bible that probably weight 30 lbs & I cat-napped on the floor. HAhahahah To my sheer delight I found a copy of Virginia Woolf's "Moments of Being." Why is it special? It's a FIRST EDITION!!!!! I probably shouldn't have spent the money but had to own it. Don't judge me. Our final stop was at a little dive bar that was just as perfect as the rest of the town. It was full of all the seedy older men that hang out in places like that...where games of Jacks matter & they all tend to stare at you without saying anything. The bartender looked like a biker. He had a really long, pointy beard & kept up with the Olympics (which I loved.) He told me the results of the Michael Phelps swim that I had missed the night before.

There was no way that we would be making any headway as it was already 4:30pm. Kim got a call from Boyfriend At Large (Aaron)saying that he had a former bandmate who lived in San Francisco that we could stay with if we were going to stay another night. We drove back to San Fran (the GG Bridge was both visible & not-as-terrifying in the daylight.) We stayed in (the Mission District?) with George in a 4 bedroom house on a hill. It's the typical San Franciscan house that you see in all the pictures. He lived right behind the Seven Sisters...yes, the series of houses from the opening credits of Full House. Be as excited as I was!!

George took us all around the town..we went by Haight/Ashbury..went up & down some terrifying hills & grabbed dinner at a place with burritos that were probably 5,000 calories & literally over a foot long & about 10 inches around. (that's what she said.) I am pretty much convinced that San Francisco must contain the best asses & thighs in America. These people walk & bike up & down CONSTANT steep hills every day. The next few days were spent with Kim & I whining about how much our thighs hurt.

Kim & I were exhausted from the past two days so George decided that beer & olympics were in order. We watched a never ending marathon...some volleyball..some soccer...and then FINALLY Michael Phelps winning his 8th medal this year!! It was awesome to the extreme. I was so happy I got to see it.

The next morning we grabbed coffee at the Blue Bottle Coffee Company. It's this fabulous little nook in a brick wall that's almost a kiosk for some awesome coffee. There was a huge line & everyone just stood around in their coats on a cloudy Sunday morning & talked. I think it was my favorite part of San Francisco. We then spent way too long at Walgreen's, lost George, found George again, & then headed on our way.

By that time it was nearly 1:30pm & we said once again that we would NEVER get out of this city & finally found a place to park & then eat lunch. The sun was out & the city was so beautiful. We had lunch at a Vietnamese place called "Sunflower." It was delicious & I don't think I've ever been served so much food for only $7. It was delicious.

My final impression of San Francisco was a very confused one. There's a side of it that seems to be on the verge of anarchy. Not only are rules just an afterthought but it seems like people live there JUST to see how far they can push the limits. A woman hit on me more forwardly & lewdly than I think anyone has ever hit on me before. There were people sitting on the streets very obviously selling stolen shoes. The overall vibe of the city was something I could never quite grasp. Then the stories of crazed Vietnam veterans began to trickle in...
I so want to visit again. The food totally lived up to all the hype. The FOOD alone would make me want to live there. So ultimately I'm a little disgusted by it...but also totally seduced (AMAZING food & creepy fog of death) & intrigued because it's where the whole beatnik movement (which I'm a little obsessed with) that finally fed into the hippie movement started....RAWR. There will definitely be future visits to the City of Creepy By the Sea.

We finished around 4pm & tried once more to leave. We finally found Golden Gate Park & started towards the Pacific Coast Highway for the 10 hour drive home.

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? — it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies."
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

The moment we hit the Pacific Coast Highway I was scared that I was going to wreck my car. No, not because the roads were too windy or because the hills were too steep...but because it's so DAMN gorgeous. There are areas where you're going through acres & acres of woods & then you burst out & suddenly you're 5 feet away from the Pacific on a tiny two lane highway..then there's farmland...and then ocean again...then you're flying through the air because you're SO high up & can see so far over the cliffs. The Pacific Coast Highway is magnificent. I feel like when God put the whole design of Earth into play he had this creative climax when He got to the West coast. He was like,"Hmm...America is going to overrun this place with skyscrapers, pollution, & rot it from the inside out with suburban hell..therefore I shall make it look AWESOME on the very edge where they can't touch it! MUAHAHAAHAHAHA" Smart thinking. Because it's perfect.

The first third of the PCH was cloudy, cold & scenically appropriate. We stopped at the Pigeon Point Lighthouse (two hours south of San Francisco). It's also a hostel that we intend on staying at next time we do this trip. We took pictures of the lighthouse up on the proverbial rocky cliffs & I wished we had hours to spare so I could just drink it in & sit there & read or write or something. It's places like that lighthouse that just send your imagination to crazy places. I imagined LIVING there. I imagined being proposed to there by some mirage of a man who I could see myself ending up with. I also imagined me two centuries ago being blown off the cliffs by the wind in a white dress while staring at ships during a storm. We took lots of pictures & were mostly silent until we got to the furthest edge of the cliffs facing the ocean. There were massive rocks in the ocean & on them were all the sea lions!!! The ethereal mood was interrupted when Kim & I both expressed that we'd hoped that we'd get to see them fight for the highest place on the rock. BAhahahaahhahahaha

We stopped at a gas station (one of the FEW that are on the highway)& a biker & his sugah told us that we absolutely HAD to go to Monterey. It was his hometown & he said we should definitely stop & stay the night & check out Cannery Row, the fisherman's wharf, & the rest of the town. About an hour & a half later we kept seeing signs for Monterey & we checked the status of our money. There wasn't much left but it was already 7pm. There was no way we'd be getting home that night. We were still a good 9 hours away. If we were going to stop anyplace it should be Monterey.

Monterey.

We both searched on our cell phones for hotels. Kim found a place called The Surf Inn for around $70 a night in Monterey. It was probably going to be a fleabag but it was cheap & that's what we needed. We arrived at The Surf Inn & as Kim opened the door she said,"It smells like Indian food in here." The lobby did, indeed, smell like Indian food. Soon an Indian girl & an older Indian man stood at the desk, took our credit cards, made us pay up front, & made us sign a document saying we wouldn't have guests over or we'd be kicked out. They were so serious & so efficient & so delightfully Indian that they were added to the VIP list almost immediately.

The room was, again, super clean & we had a king sized bed that was actually COMFORTABLE & warm. (I slept with one of my own blankets at the first hotel).

Once again,we tried to catch up on some rest. I journaled while Kim showered & then I showered while Kim tried to find places for us to eat dinner at 9:30pm. There was a place called The Fisherman's Grotto on the Old Fisherman's Wharf that was still open. We went down there & realized it was slightly more touristy than we'd hoped but it was still good. Their clam chowder (made with local seafood) was ffaaabbbuullouuss. Their fish & chips were nothing compared to Madra Rua (per usual). We had a couple of drinks & then heard the seals calling & left.

Did you think I was kidding? The seals were wailing & barking on the wharf & so we went to find them. They were all sitting on the dock in the dark & so Kim, myself, & a group of about seven very loud Italians watched & listened as they dived into the water & snapped & growled at each other. Over-stimulation? Retreat to the Twilight Zone? At any rate, we went back to the hotel & slept a good long while.

The next morning we packed up & went to the lobby to check out. We saw that there was a continental breakfast of sorts set up & then smelled Indian food. GASP. Could they be serving Indian food at this place for breakfast???!! We had our hopes up until we discovered that there was only cheap cereal, bread, jam, & juice for us pagan Americans. The Indians got their curry & goodness in the back room where we couldn't contaminate it. (We discussed paying them to let us eat with them.)

Cannery Row was a place we hadn't hit yet & once we got there realized it was the place we should have gone to for some fun night life the previous evening. We walked up & down & then back to the Fisherman's Wharf for lunch. We watched the seals in the daylight for an insane amount of time. Then we stopped in a restaurant that listed $3 margaritas at noon so, uh, who were we to refuse? I ordered more clam chowder (i am such a soup addict now...)& we had drinks & talked to the awesome bartender who I'm pretty sure was high the entire time.

Monterey is a beautiful little town. It's almost New England it's so seedy & fisherman-like. It's right on the water & the land forms around the ocean like a half-moon.

Around 2pm we decided we should leave because there was no way we had money left over for another hotel that night. We HAD to get back to Los Angeles.

PCH Part 2.

We were still a good 7 hours away from Los Angeles when we left Monterey.

Kim was driving & suddenly all of the clouds & cold weather left & there was loud, deep blue sky, no clouds, & suddenly signs for Big Sur. Big Sur is a massive amount of mountain that is on the sea & right beside the Bixby Bridge. We parked the car & took pictures & marveled over how much the beach & mountains looked like the set of Lost. Then we spotted a sign that read "Keep Away. Steep Incline." Below it, like a little index finger beckoning us to go down it was a skinny little path of sand leading us off the side of Big Sur & down to the beach below. Of course the only thing to do was provide logic to our decision by proclaiming, "ADVENTUUURREEE!!!!!" & started our way down the path. So, clad in our ballet flats, me in a tank & jeans & Kim in a skirt, cameras in hand down, down, down we went. Of course the entire time I was either humming the "goin' on a bear hunt" song from the 1st grade in my head or saying,"I'm hunting Others..." but in an Elmer Fudd voice & giggling to myself.

The path gradually grew into a straight vertical drop where we were grabbing onto random tree branches & bush brambles so as not fall to our deaths. Kim was a couple of feet ahead of me & leaned alll the way over & said,"I think we might need to turn around." I asked why & then went down & saw for myself. Apparently, the path down to the beach was much longer than we had anticipated & we were actually much higher up than we thought as well. As I looked over the edge I saw people down on the beach....tiny, tiny people. We were not dozens of feet in the air...but HUNDREDS of feet in the air. I promptly turned around as Kim yelled down to me,"Um...you're basically going to have to use your arms to pull yourself up the entire way."

We survived. Completely covered in dirt & with BURNING thighs but we survived.

30 minutes down the road the car decided it needed gas. There were no more gas stations for about 3 hours so we stopped at the Big Sur Inn where the gas was $5.59. Not lying. Kim took a picture of it. We decided to look around for a bit & then were inevitably lead to the dining area where we sat at the bar, ate fries, & watched random skateboarding events on tv.

It was 5pm before we left & there was definitely about 6 hours of highway left.

We passed through San Luis Obispo & various other towns by the ocean that were stunning as the sun started to set. We were one of maybe 5 other cars on the road & I just loved that feeling of community with the other travelers, relieved that our trek down the coast wasn't just something that every tourist decides that they just must do upon arriving in California.

"Our battered suitcases were were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life."
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

After another stop at a ratty old gas station in the creepiest town in California we jetted down the interstate & arrived in Los Angeles around 11:30pm.

Kim passed out on the couch the moment she walked in the door & I stayed awake until 2am trying to process the week.

We honestly didn't spend much time in LA...

We drove around downtown only to discover the really awesome looking building with the insane futuristic architecture was NOT the Museum of Contemporary Art...and when we found the Museum of Contemporary Art it was closed.

We drove around Hollywood & as we were at a stop light in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre & I began to tell Kim how all the people who dress up in costumes & take pictures with tourists are basically crazy homeless people or porn stars. AS I am explaining this to her Freddy Krueger (the masked guy from the Nightmare On Elm Street movies...is that right? anyways...) he comes slowly walking up to my car. Kim whispers that "one of them are coming toward us" & as he gets TO my car he pulls out this GIANT fake knife. He reaches INTO my car & starts POKING Kim in the shoulder with it. She just turned with her massive sunglasses on & stared at him. I mean...we were gridlocked at a stop light. There was not much else we COULD do. But that experience blows my Chucky one (from The Office set visit in March 07) STRAIGHT out of the water.

We went to the magnificent Arclight cinemas & saw Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I LOVED this movie. It's the best thing Woody Allen's done since Matchpoint. If you haven't seen it you need to. It's funny & adorable & totally devoid of cliche the way that Woody Allen tends to be. Penelope Cruz is sure to get an Oscar nomination & hopefully an award for her role. She is HYSTERICAL. Javier Bardem is wonderful & after seeing The Sea Inside today he is one of my new amazingly favorite actors. The new actress (Rebecca Hall??) is also really great as well. I even liked Scarlett Johansson!

In conclusion...I think everyone, no matter the age or place in your life, needs to grab a friend & go on a totally unplanned road trip & just let it happen. Kim & I are definitely planning on going again & since we're more familiar with prices etc we'll be better prepared & even MORE unplanned the next time around.

With that said, after experiencing this whole other side of California outside of Los Angeles it is officially my new favorite place in the world aside from various parts of South Carolina. If you want to see the MOST beautiful part of America & one of the most beautiful parts of the world you NEED to go to the Pacific Coast Highway.

As far as the rest of my life goes here in LA...well..I'm less than a month away from my one year anniversary here. I really can't believe it. I can't believe I've become so acclimated & affectionate towards this place that's been said to be the most difficult & brutal city in America. My roommates & I will probably be splitting ways soon. No hard feelings are involved but we're all going in different directions & it's the push we need to get this 2nd year off to a progressive start.

This all stresses me out but the upcoming change makes me so excited about this next year though. Kim is most likely moving here & that would be the ultimate thrill. All my life I've been saturated in various religions besides my own (I've done Passover so many times I've practically got it down to a science). This September though I'm going to be observing Ramadan (yes, the ENTIRE month, i am determined)with my boss's family & I'm so looking forward to it. I won't be eating from sun-up to sun-down but everything that will take the place of it is going to be great.

I've decided to not spend money outside of bills & will send whatever I usually use for entertainment to save up for a new apartment & then to Paul Rusesabagina's Hotel Rwanda Foundation in Kigali. I'll be taking special care to read my Bible & pray EVERY day because I need some serious direction right now & want to make the way I relate to God a constant thing & not something so choppy as it has been in the past couple of years. It's going to be a very awesome month.

(Disclaimer: I will officially answer some of the questions that have been presented to me for the past few weeks from many of you. NO, I am not converting to Islam. I love it but love my faith even more & am observing Ramadan as a Christian. So just set down your holy water guns, have a glass of wine, a wafer, & chill out.)

There is this quote that the narrator says towards the end of Vicky Cristina Barcelona about Vicky feeling the "inevitable stirring inside" where she knew she'd have to go & move on to the next chapter. Quite frankly, these are my favorite parts of life. I love that feeling of reading mid-sentence & then turning the page to see everything else that will happen next. Not only am I not afraid to change but I WELCOME it as long as it's for the best. Since I moved to Indiana after a lifetime of living in Charleston I've really welcomed all the healthy things that accompany a new environment & a new way of thinking. I never, ever want to stop that either. No matter how old I get or who I marry or how many kids I end up staying home with. I always want to better myself...lest I go insane from living with the same voices inside my head all the time. Bahahahahah

"What's your road, man?--holyboy road, madman road, rainbow road, guppy road, any road. It's an anywhere road for anybody anyhow."
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

***If you want to see more pictures from the trip go to my pictures section!!!***

Dream 8/3/08

2008-08-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream that my parents decided to not do Christmas. They literally did no Christmas. No tree. No lights. No presents. No acknowledgment. Nothing. I was SO upset. I woke up the next day (Christmas day) & there was like 3 feet of snow everywhere & I was SO excited & jumped around in it in my pajamas shouting,"SEE!? It'll still happen whether you want it to or not!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA" Weird? Yes.

Then it segue-wayed into a dream where Kim & I were about to leave on our road trip when she comes here in August. I couldn't find my debit card anywhere & it was still snowing outside (in LA. I know.). It was summer now though. I packed my favorite lemon yellow skirt (which I threw away about 2 years ago), my winter coat, my black halter top, & boots & we went to the grocery store, got a ton of food, & then just left. The next image I had was us standing on the cliffs of the Big Sur with a ton of fog & crazy huge waves that came up to the top of the cliffs & made it shake.

Very strange..but actually a really enjoyable dream...the cliffs were awesome & I really hope it's cold & foggy & grey when we get up there.

At 2:20am the Titanic sank. At 2:20am Laura watches PBS.

2008-08-01T02:20:00.000-07:00

I.

It is 2:20am. The same minute of the same hour the Titanic sank into the ocean & in a twist of dramatic irony it is the same minute of the same hour that I just discovered what kind of elderly person I am going to be.

It is 2:20am. I cannot sleep.

I just got off the phone with Kim (plans of trekking down the PCH to NoCal...to do what? who knows?! were talked about) & now I can't sleep. My ipod died so I turned on the telly to find PBS airing the "Classic Arts Showcase."

This is basically a mosaic of symphonies & modern day silent movies all fit into two hours. I. Am. Enthralled. I'm watching this guy (from an event CLEARLY taped in the mid-80s) play the Spanish guitar while the conductor (who looks like James Spader) shakes about his shiny batons while lone guitarist plays magnificently & GASP...turns his own sheet music. Hurray for classical music! Hurray for the mid-80s! Hurray for PBS for surviving so long!!!! That is not mockery. I just created not one but TWO series recordings on the DVR because I happen to LOVE Sesame Street & Mr. Rogers thankyouverymuch. So...yes. I'm totally going to be one of those old people that sits around all day watching PBS.

Dear Elderly Who Watch PBS,

I get you now.

Much Love,

Laura (your future best friend)

GAH! I love watching the symphony!!!!! I love watching everyone all dressed in black gowns & tuxedos play their instruments furiously while the conductor has a little conversation with him through his baton movements. (Sqquueee!!! They're about to do Carmen!!!) Oh my holy Lord, it's an ANIMATED painting of the opera Carmen...I. Could. Die.

II.

Kim & I are planning the week of a lifetime when she comes here in August!!! There is a road trip in progress that will make Kerouac & Cassady CRINGE because they will be so sad that they are dead & not around to hang out with two girls like us.

We are single 20-somethings & I am not going to give you a rant Carrie Bradshaw style. I'm going to say though that there are no holds barred here & so if anyone has any suggestions at all about places to eat or to stop on the way from Los Angeles to San Francisco PLEASE share!! I'm all about the experience.

III.

Watching PBS for the past hour has made me miss theatre terrible. From here on out, I'm going to see every live theatre thing I can possible spare change on. I love live performance.

IV. Yes, there was an earthquake. It was my first one. (That's what she said...) Here's the story for those of you who have queried but not received my answer...
I was at work preparing to go to Whole Foods when the phone rang. It was a client of my boss's. We spoke for a minute or so when suddenly the office began to shake. Literally. It SHOOK. I thought...I don't know what I thought...something else..? Thunder maybe? Thunder in Charleston always makes the windows rattle so I didn't give it much thought...until it got worse....it continued on for a good 7 seconds. The windows rattled, the lights were swinging...the client got very quiet & said,"Holy shit, did you feel that?" After I got off the phone I laughed a lot because it's hilarious to me how decorum goes straight out the window when natural disaster is in the equation. Apparently it was all over the news because I immediately got text messages, calls, & emails from people asking if I was ok. There was a huge buzz about the city about the pending "big one." I'm not too frightened. I grew up in hurricane country & even though you can predict those & run away from them there's a considerable amount of power outage & flooding experience to take into account from my end. I think my roomies & I should have a caucus soon about what we'll do when this "big one" happens.

V. This week I discovered something. On the way home from Bible study Brandi & I were talking about the way we cook. Brandi is a baker. I am a cooker. It astounded me how well that illustrates both our personalities. Brandi loves to bake. She can make delicious cakes, pies & whatever. There are measurements & set rules involved & that's where I screw up! I've never made a decent dessert & I'm ok with that. It's just not what fulfills me in the kitchen. Brandi is more of a rule follower & loves to make order out of chaos. I am totally haphazard but know which flavors of life to put with each other...yes, I get them wrong..but for the most part I know what works. I love to cook though. I know flavor. I know portion. I know measurements (by your own good judgment dammit!). In short, I love to eat good, healthy, unique, FLAVORFUL food that has personality & love in it. Don't give me a jar with sauce when you can peel those tomatoes yourself. But that's another blog for another time. :) It's nearly 3am & I have to work in a few hours. :)

I cannot believe tomorrow is Friday.

Or August 1.

Last year at this time I was setting my flight in order to move to California. That really just took my breath away.

Why so serious?

2008-07-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

How many status updates, blog titles, & text messages have had this quote this weekend?

I love seeing movies in Los Angeles. It's really such a different experience than seeing a movie anywhere else because the audience is just so excited about each film. In every theatre it's guaranteed that people either directly or slightly indirectly affiliated with the film in question will be there. There's also the crazy film buffs who will be talking about the movie like a Proust lecture as they leave. Also, a lot of the audience members will stay seated throughout the entire ending credits to pay respect to the ENTIRE cast & crew that made the movie possible.

With that said, Brandi & I saw Batman: The Dark Knight at 12:15am on Thursday night. The movie didn't let out until nearly 3am but we were wide awake throughout the entire thing. For many reasons this movie just blew me away. For starters it was like seeing a show on stage. People applauded repeatedly through the movie & the energy in the room was nothing less than an 8 year old boy being allowed to set off fireworks for the first time. After a terrifying game of "chicken" Batman wraps a wire around the wheels of a massive semi-truck & causes it to flip all the way over on its back. We all gasped, our eyes lit up, & EVERYONE in the theatre began to clap. Suddenly everyone was the same age. I haven't had a movie experience like this since I was 9 years old & seeing Jurassic Park for the first time with my mom. It was my first PG13 movie & I remember getting chills & sitting with my mouth hanging wide open throughout the movie.

I loved Batman Begins but The Dark Knight just goes to a completely different level. It's not just a great Batman movie...it's a great Movie. Period. The writing, special effects, suspense, the MUSIC (Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard HELL YES!)..it was all so brilliant. The best part though..the BEST part...was by far the acting.

Christian Bale is my favorite Batman. End of story. Michael Keaton is a pussy. I'm sorry. But you can't be the best Batman ever if you starred as a specter snow man in a bad family Christmas movie called Jack Frost. It just doesn't work.But the first time I watched Batman Begins & saw that one of Christian's biceps is larger than my own head I knew he was the chosen one. Christian Bale is a brilliant actor, a gorgeous man, & seriously inspires good (and maybe a little bad...) in me. Ha...hahahahahahhahah...and seriously...who doesn't love the smooth syntax of a Britich actor feigning an American accent?

Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon rocks my world in one specific way...when he appeared to not be dead my heart leapt out of my chest because in a way it was like Sirius Black was coming back to life! (I'm a nerd. I know this. You shouldn't feel the need to tell me.)

Maggie Gyllenhaal kicks Katie Holmes in the engram any day of the week.

Aaron Eckhart. Who saw that coming? (I'm not taking about Two-Face, I mean his acting...) He was FABULOUS. I was so tense & stressed out over the movie when he took Gordon's son & was threatening to kill him...totally heartbreaking. I couldn't handle it. If you haven't seen it yet, Chris Nolan's Two-Face is a helluva lot scarier than the Tommy Lee Jones rendition. Prepare to be shock & awed.

Heath Ledger.
I've been a fan of his since 10 Things I Hate About You. I was not a fan of Brokeback Mountain..sorry, the movie just didn't do much for me except make me hate long, slow shots of sheep & Twangy McTwang hick music. Remember how you felt when you saw Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow & thought,"What the HELL? That is amazing. He developed every part of that character deliberately & perfectly & I'll watch it 13 more times this summer because I don't have any friends here in Indiana & so I'll pretend to be Keira Knightley instead?" Remember that? No?

Oh.

Well, at any rate Ledger's performance is so good that you won't even know it's him. He completely disappears in this character & it's not just the makeup...it's the voice, the body language, the SMILE is even different. This Joker is sympathetic...and not in a cliched way where we find out his back story & realize that there is a method to his madness. There is none. He is chilling & a total anarchist & seemingly devoid of emotion. The second time I saw it I actually saw the human in him when he's called "crazy" by one of the mob guys & the Joker just glares at him & says,"No..I'm not. I'm not..crazy." It's so genuine that you just feel like there's this soul trying to crawl out of that crazy ass corpse he has walking around the city. It's easily one of my top 10 favorite performances of all time. In fact, at this point there will have to be a performance better than Javier Bardem's in No Country For Old Men for anyone to beat Ledger at the Oscars.

The truly heartbreaking thing? I can't say,"I can't wait to see what he comes out with next!" It's like...he had the genius & artistic raw innocence of James Dean & went just way too soon. At least we still have Johnny Depp & Leo DiCaprio. I feel so weird saying that. But as living in Los Angeles & becoming a part of Hollywood is my chief end in life at the moment I feel like I can take some authority & talk about it this way.

Speaking of acclimating into Hollywood, today Brandi was asked to go & do makeup for some models at a hotel for a fashion show. A swimsuit & hat designer had a new line & so there was a huge pool party with food, drinks, celebs, photographers, & a DJ. It was eye-opening. In the end I came out with a "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em & stand out just for being yourself" mentality.

(The fact that all the models had cellulite & zits didn't hurt either. ;) )

Part Two of the Bullshit...

2008-07-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

And she found a third!

2008-07-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

My first tv appearance!!! (Penn & Teller's Bullshit!!)

2008-07-07T22:43:00.000-07:00

anythinggoes
Hello everyone!!!!!!

Before my grand appearance (ha. hahahahahahah.) on Desperate Housewives there was the episode of "Penn & Tellers Bullshit!!."

After the first month of being unemployed post-Caroline Rhea I applied to a Production Assistant gig for an "info-mercial" being filmed at a small studio about a mile from my apartment. A Production Assistant is basically the bottom rung gopher person who runs around & picks up the slack of whatever's going on on the set. Long story shorter...I worked with the camera guy all day & had no idea what was going on with this "info-mercial" they were doing. At the very end of it the director came out & told the people who were on camera that it was "Penn & Teller's Bullshit!!" from Showtime & the set-up that they were doing was a huge prank. I was totally shocked as they didn't tell me anything about it when I got there. After helping to strike (strike: to put away...or make yourself appear to put things away on a set) all the stuff on the set the director & exec producer came up to me & thanked me for helping out & asked if I'd come back tomorrow because everyone liked working with me & they needed more help. The next day I arrived at the set around 8am I was in jeans & a tanktop & when I got there the director walked up to me, handed me a white lab coat, & said "This is your wardrobe. Ready to bullshit some people?" Ummm...pardon me???

So there I was...sans makeup...no scrunchies ANYWHERE with which to get my hair out of my face & I was about to be in an episode. I played a nurse & the video below is pretty self-explanatory.

One caveat I'd like to point out....with tv & film there are hours & hours of footage shot & the majority of it ends up on the cutting room floor. Such is the case with this. I worked for 12 hours & was on camera 85% of the time...the following video shows my debut...in two shots. HAhahahahah

I almost didn't send this out because 1) I look like a 12 year old. 2) I am very, VERY pasty & pale underneath all those lights & no makeup. 3)I am way overdue for a hair cut...too bad I cant bloody afford one. 3) Who wants their tv debut sent out to all their family & friends with them looking like they just woke up after years spent in hibernation when they're supposed to be looking all sun-kissed & gorgeous in their new life in Los Angeles?

Ok...so here's my defense....the REASON I look that way is because I'm playing a New Age holistic treatment nurse. So there.

(I promise when I have on loads of makeup, clothes that fit, & my hair is done I look far more decent than that...or so I convince myself....)

Watch the link below!!! :) (Or you can order the episode on Showtime)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v..=vSpPdp3_BQE

Much Love,

A Very Pasty & Sleep-Ridden Valley Girl

Independence Day: Part II

2008-07-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

First off, Happy Independence Day to everyone!!!!! I know by the time most of you read this it will no longer be Independence Day but no matter...a weekend's a weekend right? And that is cause for celebration.

I woke up this morning & was bound & determined to have a fabulous 4th & so around 11am I put the GPS in my car, looked up "parks & recreation" & proceeded to have a totally pointless but slightly entertaining adventure for about 2 hours.

"Park" #1:
Location: The tip-toppiest part of Mulholland Drive o'erlooking the Valley. Picturesque you say? I say nay. I say that any park with NO grass, a chain link fence, & a sign that reads: ABANDONING ANIMALS PROHIBITED is no place to spend any amount of my time. But it may serve as a great landing spot for the UFOs when they finally decide to invade LA to meet their kinsmen.

"Park" #2:
Location: Deep in the depths of a rocky crag they call "Runyon Canyon." It's not far from ET's house..right down Mulholland & down a terrifying road of death called Woodrow Wilson St. Seriously. The road was normal at first & then started to twist & turn & soon TWO lanes were provided for a space that could only fit ONE car. I had to slow down to about 5 mph at a couple of points & then thought to myself,"Well, coming back I know if I die it'll be down THAT terrifying cliff right there due to a rock slide." I had been driving upwards & then suddenly the roads began to spiral downward & I literally yelled at the GPS,"WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME!?!?!?!" I arrived at another "park" but this one only had a visible parking lot. It actually wasn't a lot at all. It was a few places that people had decided to stick there cars in an orderly fashion. I parked my car...got out...& began to follow a few people down a hill. I watched them go ahead of me & disappear on the other side & suddenly I thought,"Maybe I DID die in a fiery crash down the rocky crag & now I'm walking down a hill to Hell." (It would not surprise me in the LEAST if the entrance to Hell was located in the side of the mountain over the San Fernando Valley.) Well, I knew that I was not supposed to be going to Hell so I turned around, ran back to my car, & drove away. Sigh. I'm still convinced that the GPS has turned hostile & was trying to have me killed.

Parks...the 3rd try:
Glendale! Burbank! The happiest most sunny of all places in the Valley! I went to three different "parks" which all turned out to be abandoned playgrounds. Boo. I hopped back onto the 134 & then onto the 101 & wasn't paying attention & somehow wound up on the 405 headed for Santa Monica. I got off on Sepulveda Blvd. & then THERE it was!!!!

Los Angeles National Cemetery:
I've been wanting to go to the LANC since I moved here. I love graveyards. I used to go wandering around the historic graveyards in Charleston & just sit under a tree, prop myself up against a headstone of one of my ancestors & just read or write or take pictures for hours. There was hardly anyone there & so after walking around for about an hour I found a HUGE memorial with a place to sit & sat in the sun reading "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid" by Jimmy Carter. Seeing all of those graves & looking at the uniforms & reading the stories of the people inside one of the memorials just hit me really hard. I have very little to complain about. We, as Americans, really have very little to complain about. Sure, complain about the state of the World in general (as in OTHER countries) but I am SO over people bitching about the most ridiculous things. The country will never be perfect. As much of an Utopia as we try to create it will NEVER happen. What WILL happen though is total dissent & then collapse just like Babylon..just like Rome...etc, etc...I've decided to remain on the optimistic side of my view of the world. I know that a lot of people believe that all of this craziness in the Middle East just "HAS" to happen because Biblically speaking it's "supposed to" but I don't think that it works like that. I think that everyone needs to do their part or at LEAST have the right attitude towards the Middle East instead of just labeling good guys & bad guys & leaving them to kill each other off while rooting for one team. But whatever I won't go into that argument right now...I came home & a friend had sent me an essay that Jay Leno has written covering my EXACT thoughts today:

"As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hit the mark.
'The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard to believe. I t must be true given
the source, right?
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are
unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In
essence 2/3 of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.
So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking,
'What are we so unhappy about?''

A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a
day, 7 Days a week?

B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in
the summer and heati n g in the winter?

C.. Could it be that 95.4 pe rcent of these unhappy folks have a
job?

D Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any
time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen
in the last year?

E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from
the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to
present identification papers as we move through each state?

F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can pr ovide temporary shelter?

G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough either.

H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.

J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case
of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in
moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the
flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen
TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with
a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and
;& nbsp; ; your family against attack or loss.

L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs
or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods
where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

M.. How about the complete religious, social and political
freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?

; Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

& nbsp; Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats
the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S.,
yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what
we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothingbut
complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the
country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The pr esident who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The
commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there
defending you and me?

Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show?
Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you
couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good
things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at t he
President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it
because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it.

The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.
They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a
''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge or,
worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few
days in the brig.

; So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69
percent of Americans?

Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it
leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a
car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids
selling lemonade at the corner?

The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit
corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to
&nbs p; defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another.
Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson
to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he
did he would have done it this way......Insane!

Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.' 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with t he threat of bi rd flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

Jay Leno

So, there we are. And there I am.

Books You Should Read:
102 Minutes-Jim Dwyer (account of what exactly happened in the World Trade Centers on 9/11. Totally fascinating & brilliant.)

Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid-Jimmy Carter...the following quote comes from the book:

"The blood of Abraham, God's father of the chosen, still flows in the veins of Arab, Jew, & Christian, & too much of it has been spilled in grasping for the inheritance of the revered patriarch in the Middle East. The spilled blood in the Holy Land still cries out to God-an anguished cry for peace."

Also...any book by Jen Lancaster. She makes me seriously laugh.

"Not 'til the sky....!!": back to Charleston blog...

2008-06-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

"There are Giants in the sky!
There are big tall terrible Giants
in the sky!

When you're way up high
And you look below
At the world you left
And the things you know,
Little more than a glance
Is enough to show
You just how small you are.

When you're way up high
And you're own your own
In a world like none
That you've ever known,
Where the sky is lead
And the earth is stone,

You're free, to do
Whatever pleases you,
Exploring things you'd never dare
'Cause you don't care,
When suddenly there's

A big tall terrible Giant at the door,
A big tall terrible lady Giant
sweeping the floor.
And she gives you food
And she gives you rest
And she draws you close
To her Giant breast,
And you know things now
that you never knew before,
Not till the sky.

Only just when you've made
A friend and all,
And you know she's big
But you don't feel small,
Someone bigger than her
Comes along the hall
To swallow you for lunch.

And you heart is lead
And your stomach stone
And you're really scared
Being all alone...

And it's then that you miss
All the things you've known
And the world you've left
And the little you own-

The fun is done.
You steal what you can and run.
And you scramble down
And you look below,
And the world you know
Begins to grow:

The roof, the house, and your Mother at the door.
The roof, the house and the world you never thought to explore.
And you think of all of the things you've seen,
And you wish that you could live in between,
And you're back again,
Only different than before,
After the sky.

There are Giants in the sky!
There are big tall terrible awesome scary wonderful
Giants in the sky!"

-Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim

This morning I was out running before work & had my ipod tuned onto my broadway list & even though Into the Woods is so not running music I must have listened to Giants In the Sky at least 6 times before changing the song. There is nothing that describes more how I've felt over the past two weeks more than this song so thank you, Mr. Sondheim, you validate my life once again.
The past few months have been really rough on me...losing my job that I was totally invested in...being unemployed for 2 months & then finally landing a job that I had absolute disdain for the few many weeks of working there. I've been so confused about life & what I'm doing with it that it's been difficult to get up in the morning because I get so overwhelmed with the "What?" "Why?" & "WHEN!??!" questions that pop into my head. I was so thrilled to move here but since then I've wanted to pack up & move back to where things were simple & familiar & make a life there instead. I made plans to go back to Charleston for a week to see my parents, sisters, nephews, & friends & was really excited about it up until the night I left. At work I was completely unfocused & anxious & kept thinking about how hard it would be to leave Charleston again & how I knew if I went there I'd want to move back immediately & how I would be such a disappointment to everyone once they realized how so unglamorous my life is out here.

So that night with all of my angst intact I flew back to Charleston for the first time in 9 months. When I moved to Indiana & returned to Charleston for the first time it was like stepping back into my own skin. It felt so right & that's why I moved back nearly 3 years later. When I arrived in Charleston, felt the humidity, saw the salt marshes, & my aunt & two dear friends it was one of the most surreal experiences. Suddenly I realized that I had changed...I had more edge, I had a different perspective on the world & how things work..I felt so much older & so much smaller because the big picture is so much bigger when you live in a town like LA.

I went to lunch at Vickery's with Katie & Nick the first day I was back. I saw two families that I grew up going to church with & thought how much I missed that sense of community. Then I remember sitting there staring over Shem Creek & the salt marshes & boats & a had a crazy epiphany...Charleston is Me. It's my childhood, my family, every memory that contributed to the building blocks that make up who I am as a person is this city. Strangely though, I felt detached. I'm still trying to think of the perfect analogy...hang on...I'll try again...nope, still nothing. HAahahahah It really was like an out of body experience...it was like I was time traveling. NOTHING has changed. Except me. I have definitely changed.

Little by little, every anxiety that I had about work or LA or being so far away from my family just disappeared. I feel totally at peace with being in LA & know that it's where I'm supposed to be & it's where I WANT to be. I got closure & validation on so many things that have been PLAGUING me since high school/college: self-image, my friends, the way I treat them & the way they treat me, what I'm doing career-wise, what I'm doing relationship-wise, boys...my gosh..you just don't even know the stuff I was able to FINALLY just let go of while I was there. I heard verbally from both parents that they're proud of me & what I'm doing. Since my unemployment stint I've felt like a complete screw-up & failure but now...I can see myself in a new light. I'm only 22 (23 next week. ha.) & am way too hard on myself. I'm one of the only people my age that I know who even has a real job.

What it boils down to is that I have officially crossed over into adulthood & am not living so much inside my own head anymore. I was ready to go back to LA about 3 days after I'd been in Charleston. HAhaahahah I knew that things were never going to be the same when I walked into Melissa (my roomie in LA as well as a friend in Charleston who happened to be there at the same time) & my FIRST reaction was,"YAY! Someone from home!"

Wait, what? (Believe me, no one was more shocked than me...even though I said it in my head..)

I had one lyric running through my head during the entire trip...it's from Into the Woods (surprise) & from Any Moment when the Baker's Wife gets kissed by the prince in the woods & she freaks out & says,"This is ridiculous! What am I doing here? I'm in the wrong story!!"

SAME ISSUE. HAhahaahha

OH! I know EXACTLY what the analogy is...Charleston is my Constant right now. It's my reference point. It's the thing that I can look back to & know it's my safe place when I start to go a little crazy. It's the grounding & my foundation for the enigmatic puzzle that is Laura.

When I boarded my connecting flight in Atlanta I sat down & WHAT song was playing on the radio? "West Coast" by Coconut Records. Out of ALL the songs to play..it was Brandi & I's Moving to LA song...& the lyrics just happen to say, "I miss you, I'm going back home to the West coast...do-do-doooo." I really felt like I was in the ending scene of a movie...I guess metaphorically that's exactly what it was. (cheesey nerd girl, i apologize)

This of course was ruined by the fact that I then started daydreaming about a guy going back to LA as well & how he'd sit by me & we'd be soulmates & that would be another check off my list. Unfortunately, to my right sat a hispanic woman who was apparently Un-dead because she just sat there & stared straight in front of her for the entire flight...& then to my right was a midget...a really. smelly. midget. Seriously. Worst BO EVER. I had to turn my head to the left to stare at the Un-dead woman & pray she didn't suddenly leap at my neck or suck out my soul with her eyes to keep from gagging all over the place. On top of that my steward was very southern & VERY gay & made me sing Over the Rainbow to him while he shook my mojito & danced...at midnight. I know all the passengers loved that. HAhaahahahah

So now I'm back......back in LA & very happy about it. I plan on throwing myself 100% into my job because that' s a huge hindrance for me right now & it's something I'm determined to excel at.

(I have another blog coming...it's lighthearted & opinionated so I hope y'all are excited...don't whine at me, I haven't blogged in a long time so don't act like I'm asking a lot of you to read another.)

Meanwhile, in Lost Angeles...

2008-06-02T22:26:00.001-07:00

I have been inspired..in a completely new & somewhat totally unpredictable way. I've felt so stagnant lately & I guess that was just me coming out of the chrysalis & waiting for the wings to spread out a bit & show their color (ahhhh...analogies...).

Last Wednesday former set decorator on The Office extraordinare John Sparano sent me an invite to a taping of one of the runway shows for America's Next Top Model. My initial reaction was exactly this,"O.M.F.G. GOSSIP GIRL! TOP MODEL!" The roomies & I coordinated schedules & were able to shower, dress, & make the long trek to downtown, LA for the show. As with all tapings...we had to wait. While we waited I observed the people around me & slowly realized that I was way behind the game of fashion...I mean I've always KNOWN this but never cared about it. We were sitting in fold out chairs in the freezing cold in a gross parking lot outside of some old apartment buildings (looked like a scene out of Rent) & watched the other people arrive. There was an Asian girl with platinum blonde hair decked out in all 1940s garb & this one guy who had a beard, was about 5 feet tall, was wearing a floor length black coat, boots, & a HUGE top hat with feathers coming out of it & sunglasses....at night....it was madness. I was fascinated by all the spectacle but also really annoyed that I felt like I had walked into an Arabic class after years of studiously studying Spanish. I mean I looked fine I guess...I had on a black skirt, black peep-toe heels, & a creamy sparkly v-neck shirt...my hair was all bobby pinned & curled up & I had my glasses on & felt tres, tres chic inside the confines of my apartment.

Then the runway show started....& SOMETHING inside me clicked...Jeremy Scott (the designer) is a man after my own art clothing deprived heart. The entire line was like couture Beauty & the Beast...some high fashion show after seeing "Be Our Guest" performed on stage. There were dresses with chests of drawers on them...earrings that were chandeliers...an ADORABLE super nerdy high collar, long sleeved, full skirt that was green that had...OMG...OMG YOU GUYS....BOOKS...all over it. It was CIRCULATION DESK COUTURE. HOW ABOUT I FREAK OUT RIGHT THIS SECOND?! HOW ABOUT IT!?

I couldn't help but realize that every piece of my outfit was matched kind of perfectly & just looked put together...it was uninspired, boring, & really just not how I wanted people to see me...because Lord knows...inside I am NOT matched & put together. I am an inspired mosaic of emotional eccentricities & class!

I started venting to my more fashion/makeup savvy roommates about how I was feeling & Melissa gave me the advice to pick out pieces & styles from eras I love, collect them, & not settle for less.

Cut to: Brandi & I seeing "Sex & the City" on Sunday. From the first swell of opening credits & Fergie's "Labels or Love" song I knew that Carrie & I were officially kindred spirits. First of all, I LOVED this movie. I have spent years bashing the show because a while ago when I tried watching it I just couldn't get into it. Who were these women looking for love & trying to find the balance between themselves & happiness & actually living a life & sharing it with someone? Is it possible? Is it worth it? Being 22 (almost 23), living on my own, & actually knowing that I am a dateable & worthy gal not only do I understand the plight of the Fabulous Four but I am LIVING that plight.

Is it weird that something so girlie & so far away from everything that I've taught myself to be could just inspire me so much? From Charlotte's earnest speech about having bad moments but truly being happy every day with her husband & family to Samantha choosing her own happiness over an obligation to a relationship to Miranda's forgiveness of Steve & Carrie's knock-out wedding gown I just realized that I am these women & yes, I used the word Woman.

I feel like I've finally arrived at that place where I feel the flab in my upper arms, the complicated skin, & the beginnings of irreversible cellulite on my thighs & see that I'm a grown up & can just own it. I can date without the fear of being trapped in a relationship & I can be single without the fear of being alone.

So...there it is...the big exhale, y'all. I'm going back to Charleston this weekend. It'll all solidify with my dear family & lifelong friends...& then it's back to the new chapter of my life that is far from over.

Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2008-05-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's blog was nasty & ill. Thank you for all of your sweet & supporting "calm down, Laura, it's not the end of the world" comments. The emotional insanity that was me yesterday morning was the on-set of PMS. Woohoo!

Let's make the weekend happy by talking about something life changing!!!

Nothing in this world makes me feel more calm & secure than these words scrolling up a giant movie screen:

LUCASFILM

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Screenplay by David Koepp

Produced by Kathleen Kennedy

The Indiana Jones series is in my top favorite movies of all time ever. I have been waiting for YEARS for the 4th movie to come out & now it has & I just saw it & am SO pleased with what they did. Spielberg is a genius. A far better film maker than George Lucas by leaps & bounds. After seeing Indiana Jones I realize that if Spielberg had directed the 3 new Star Wars movies they would have actually been decent.

In grand Indy tradition the movie incorporates all of the issues of the 1950s...nuclear weapons, communism, the Russians, & yes, even aliens. It's shot with the same grainy film of the 80s (yay!) & so it really fits in well with the series. Aside from Harrison Ford's age & the kick-ass special effects you'd never think there was a 20 year gap between the films.

It's a basic plot...Indiana is after a giant crystal skull & so are the Russians. He meets up with this kid who wants to go by the name of "Mud" played by Shia LeBeouf. Together they go on adventures!! Then Shia's mother gets there...Marion Ravenwood played by Karen Allen of Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark. Unfortunately, Marion Ravenwood was my LEAST favorite of all of Indy's girlfriends. She was a totally butch alcoholic who had a weird smile & annoying way of talking...nothing's changed...only now she looks older than Harrison Ford & can't act to save her life. This is my ONLY complaint about the movie. (Of course we find out that Mud is Indy's son.)

Harrison Ford is so great as older Indiana. Love, love, love him. He's still just as sexy, charming, & badass as ever! Calista Flockhart is one lucky chick.

Shia LeBeouf is seriously wonderful as Henry Jones III. He's sarcastic & has the same dry wit & sense of adventure as his dad. (I love how I'm talking about them as though they're a family I grew up with that lives down the street...) He's in the entire movie & really carries it well. Great casting Spielberg.

I'm pretending like Karen Allen wasn't in the movie.

Cate Blanchett...Cate, Cate, Cate Blanchett. Of course she can do no wrong. She plays Irina the main villain in the movie...a Russian KGB officer who is after the same skull as Indy. I almost wish that Karen Allen wasn't in the movie & they'd made Irina the brief love interest for Indy like the did with Dr. Elsa Schneider the Nazi in The Last Crusade.

All in all, it's such a completely charming & non stop action filled movie & it really makes me miss the 80s & 90s when all those great films were being made. Everyone applauded in the end & I'm so hoping they make a couple more centering around Shia's character. He really was the epitome of everything Indiana Jones' kid should be & he was SO damn good at it!

If you're a fan of Indiana Jones or if you'd like to be made a fan of it you NEED to go see this. It's got creepy crawly bugs, great music, a scary face melting death of the bad guys, & lots of witty banter.

There's every single classic Indiana moment...the insane fear of snakes...the almost-losing-the-hat moment, a bunch of car chases, a bar fight...& the nerdiest inside joke of them all: "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Hurray for Steven Spielberg!!!!!

Into the woods you go again...

2008-04-27T11:42:00.000-07:00

"Into the woods,
It's always when
You think at last you're through, and then
Into the woods you go again
To take another journey."
-Into the Woods (Stephen Sondheim)

This past week sucked. I was not up to par. I was unfocused & made some idiotic mistakes
that I won't go into because they were so dumb. Fortunately, my boss knows that I'm
smarter than that & is giving me a second chance at all this.

Staying on that thread...my boss is one of the investors for a musical that is in
production to go on to broadway in the next 1-3 years. This musical is the musical
version of one of my favorite books AND classic movies so...yeah, that's a big deal.
Anyways, news got even crazier when he got a phone call saying that one of the
executive producers is basically being demoted & HE has been asked to fill the
position. Needless to say, I FLIPPED out. He said it was the first time I'd smiled
since working there. HAhahahaha He hasn't said 'yes' yet & a lot of that depends on
his assistant...ie...Me....OR...Someone Else if I don't get my ass in gear & do
what I'm capable of. So this is some crazy motivation & honestly I keep getting more
excited & curious about the job the more I'm there.

For example...on Friday I got to sit in on a conference call & take notes for them
about a book they're writing. I wrote up an outline & then emailed it to all of them
& felt really good doing that. I also got to get my own phone line as well as a
submitted script to do coverage on & a few documentaries from people who need
a producer or representation.

So...guys..I have 3 blogs. THREE. One is Myspace..the other is Blogspot...& the other
is LiveJournal. I don't want to delete any of them & so I'm just going to put this
out there. I update all three of them.....but I think that Myspace is going to be
reserved for my epic life update blogs & movie/tv reviews...my Blogspot will just be
another copy of that. My LIVEJOURNAL is going to be more of a daily feed of random
thoughts or ideas...food & money updates, etc... Sometimes I just have thoughts that I'd love to put in a blog but
doing it on Myspace is SUCH a hassle & an ordeal. I'd love to just post 3 line blogs
& be done with it if I feel like it.

I'd ALSO love it if I could somehow wrangle my readers into one designated place...
but that prolly won't happen. So I'm including the URLs below...save them if you want
to keep up...if you HAVE one of these applications then freaking add me as a friend!

So...I've included them in the links. Go for it. Please for my sanity.

Well, it's nearly May...can you believe it? I can't. It was this time last year that
I knew I wasn't returning to college for quite a long time & would be moving to
California by the end of the summer. It's SO strange that it's been a year already
since that CRAZY time but here I am...

When I first moved here I wrote SO much about California & my environment. I've become
so used to it though that I've just been writing about the emotional stuff & not so
much of everything that surrounds me. So here are a few observations of life as I know
it...

1. The Valley is undeniably steamy, hot, & dry. It is literally 20 degrees hotter
than the rest of the city. NOWHERE in the Valley has central air so we've resorted to a
floor fan, ceiling fan, wall unit, & a lot of hope that we won't melt to death.

2. If you're wondering, "The OC" tv show is NOT an exaggeration of Orange County. It
really is like that.

3. I have fallen in love with "Sex & the City." I know that it has NOTHING to do with
LA..but it happened whilst living in LA so there we go. ahahahhahaha

4. I wrote my first sketch for my writing class at IOWest last weekend. Hurrah!!!

5. The Pacific Ocean smells exactly like the Atlantic (thank God.) I love walking
onto the beach & smelling coconut oil & salt.

6. Even our pollution is stylish as the smog sometimes makes a lovely purpleish
orange hue across the sky if you catch it in the right light. HAhaAHhaahahha

7. Only in LA can you go to a regular grocery store & buy vegan/organic shampoo
& conditioner.

8. There have been TWO major protests in the last two weeks in Hollywood. The first
one was protesting Scientology & was REALLY amazing. There were HUNDREDS of people
gathering around the Church of Scientology on Hollywood Blvd. & they were all yelling
& were wearing the V for Vendetta masks. Bad. Ass. The second protest was for the
olympics in China...the protesting was being done by none other than the Chinese. I'm
still not sure if they were protesting the Olympics or the people protesting the
Olympics...but there were lots of red flags waving outside of Amoeba that is for sho.

9. Watch this season of Real World if you want to see where I am every day.

10. Only in Los Angeles is an entire massive intersection closed down in front of a
THEATRE in the middle of a CITY on a WEEKEND NIGHT so that some film crew can shoot
a damn car scene for a movie.